for context, i'm currently a high school junior in texas & about to turn 17. i've been trying really hard for months to convince my parents to help me seek an adhd diagnosis, but they still continue to refuse
their reasons:
- i'm trying to take an easy way out instead of dealing with my "laziness". they say if i just keep my devices away & do everything on paper, my problems will go away (which if even was true wouldn't be possible since all my assignments & projects are online)
- i might "become a drug addict" if i go on adhd meds. apaprently, it turns my uncle had a mental health disorder that he was medicated for, which according to them changed his personality & career for the worse --- and they're scared that the same would happen to me
i've been struggling with attention/focus my whole life & this has become especially worse over junior year. i'm unable to pay focus to study for more than 8-10 minutes without being distracted by a bazillion thoughts or constantly day-dreaming about the most random things, procrastinating everything until the last minute even though i keep trying my best to not & constantly disorganized
i've tried everything from minimizing all distractions, utilizing planners, setting reminders, etc but nothing ever helps with focus
this has been increasingly damaging to my mental health, leading to frequent bouts of anxiety, restlessness, fear, etc. & am seeking any possible advice on ways to convince my parents to get me a diagnosis!! TIA
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Do you need their permission? Is this a Texas thing? It seems like you're old enough to visit your Dr on your own (or ask your parents to step out of the room so you can have a private discussion with your Dr). In California, when my kids turned 13, suddenly I couldn't view their records in the medical system due to privacy concerns.
I will warn you that ADHD medication takes a significant amount of trial and error to get it right. So be prepared to track your moods and symptoms like stomach aches, headaches, etc. As well as if it's helping your focus.
To prepare for a Dr appt, you should start tracking your symptoms. If that's too hard to do with a spreadsheet and some alarms, then maybe try an ADHD app. Or better yet, recruit an organized friend to help you.
Search for adults you know who have ADHD: Teachers, Counselors, Coaches, friends of your parents, etc. See if any of them are willing to explain ADHD to your parents in a different way.
Search online for famous people who have ADHD (Michael Phelps, Simone Biles, Emma Watson, Richard Branson, Bill Gates, Michael Jordan, Walt Disney, Mark Ruffalo, Albert Einstein, etc). Read up on their stories and how they became successful.
In the meantime, do an online search for supplements and other things that can help with ADHD - such as caffeine. If you can't get your parents' buy in on ADHD meds, then you might have to wait until you are 18 to try the stimulant meds. But you should be able to pick up non-stimulent meds now. You should also be able to be diagnosed without your parents buy-in. You would use a teacher and some other adult who knows you well to fill out the forms (maybe a grandparent, aunt/uncle, cousin, friend's parent, etc).
Also you mention your mental health (anxiety, etc). Tell your parents that you need to start seeing a therapist due to anxiety and depression. This will likely lead to an ADHD diagnosis (but you don't have to mention that to your parents).
If they won't take you to a therapist, see the counselor at school and tell them ALL about your anxiety and depression until they have you sent to a therapist.
Go to the doctor for anxiety &/or depression and mention ADHD along with your symptoms. Or just the symptoms and lean onto the distractability and lack of focus.
Welbutrin is an antidepressant that can help with ADHD. You could just say you've done your homework or heard good things (some doctors don't like patients doing their research and getting ideas from Google) and it seems like the best fit - few side effects, well tolerated, etc.
You won't convince your parents, sorry to say. They have the idea you are lazy and that is a tough one to dislodge.
You could ask if they are open to learning about different things like anxiety, depression & ADHD. If they're closed to learning you'll have to get your own support.
If they're open to it, great. Go slow and maybe start with anxiety rather than ADHD - anxiety can make you look lazy while you're mind is spinning out of control.
ADHDers are 5 times morel likely to abuse drugs when they are NOT medicated, the drugs aren't addictive.
Having racing thoughts, not doing well in school, anxiety, etc. that is what will drive you to take drugs.
Some natural remedies are high cardio, 45 min/day pretty much every day. For some that literally is their medication, it can be hugely impactful.
Low sugar, no high fructose corn syrup diet is proven to be beneficial also.
Some see improvement with a gluten & dairy free diet - you could play around and see what you notice.
Caffeine likely impacts you differently. There is a meme about the ADHDers and caffeine induced naps. It's a stimulant like many of the ADHD meds so it has an impact. Don't over due it, caffeine is a diuretic and takes nutrients with it.
ADHD 2.0 is a good book that talks about the latest brain science and ADHD and the difference between females and males in how it presents symptoms.
How to ADHD - podcast, book, YouTube, with Jessica McCabe is another good resource.
Learn all you can, get to know yourself, what makes things better (cardio?) What makes things worse (bad sleep, too much sugar?)
Come here, ask questions, vent & bond with like minded folks.
I'm sorry your parents don't understand, that is tough.
Hang in there, you will figure this out with that highly creative mind of yours.
Just want to reach out and say good for you to recognize your symptoms and try to seek help. Wow! So impressive for someone who is only 17. You have gotten some great advice above and I don’t have anything to add - just to say you are in a tough spot without parental support and I am in your corner. You can manage this. Hang in there.
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