Hi, my 31 year old daughter is really struggling! She has inattentive ADHD , sensory processing disorder and rejection sensitivity dysphoria. We suspect she could also have ASD. She had a Dr. at the Aymen clinic tell her that her brain scans indicated that she also shows that she has had a traumatic brain injury. We are guessing it happened when she was in an accident and the airbags deployed.
She was doing “ok” for a short time and has had one event after another completely derail her. Boyfriend breakup, car stolen and Covid all within a week. She was already on the verge of losing her job, again, and is still teetering.
Has anyone experienced a medication that they have had success with? Also, does anyone know if she would be able to get disability with these symptoms? We are really concerned she is going to lose her job and health benefits. We will be moving her back home with us this next week. I appreciate any advice. Thank you in advance!
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First of all, I think it's good that you are able to take your daughter back into your home.My family has done the same sort of thing across a couple of generations, and it became more common during the pandemic and with the current economy.
If your daughter does indeed have a traumatic brain injury, she should get some sort of treatment. She might just need counseling type therapy, but she might need much more treatment than that.
• Just a side note that while the Amen clinics have done a lot to help people with ADHD and other neurological issues, they have been regarded by peers in the medical community as having too much confidence in their preferred type of brain imaging, SPECT scans. Dr. Daniel Amen has published a lot of research, but at least some of his findings haven't been independently verified. (My advice is for your daughter to get a second opinion about the TBI from a doctor who is not part of the Amen Clinics practice.) I don't doubt the intentions of the Amen Clinics, because they do a lot to treat people, and perhaps the corroborating research about SPECT scanning just hasn't been done yet.
Your daughter definitely needs to be getting help for her needs somehow.
Talking to someone who understands employment protections and someone who understands how the disability benefits system work would be necessary. I know that there are laws and regulations and systems intended to help people, but they can be hard to navigate.
My advice:
• start with love, acceptance and understanding
• give her time to recover from COVID
• give her guidance to get therapy and other treatment
• give her encouragement to figure out her rights and benefits as an employee, and to talk to a social worker for guidance about the disability benefits system
Hi, thank you so much for your advice and taking the time to respond! I do understand the skepticism around the Amen clinic. They were kind of a “we are not sure what to do next” choice. She has had such a difficult time keeping a job long enough to get benefits that as soon as she is eligible she loses the job. Medi-cal is a joke. She has had so many people say they take it and when she goes to the appointment they realize they don’t take her type of medi-cal?? She and we are so confused by this.
We are definitely willing to do what it takes to help her and Support her. Unfortunately, every time she needs help her self esteem sinks lower.
I will check into a labor law expert and see if anything can be done on that end. Thank you again! I very much appreciate it!
HiI take methylphenidate for my adhd and I am 47. When I am at the right dose my inattentiveness and RSD reduce right down. My son takes atemoxetine and methylphenidate and he has adhd and asd and we'd be lost without them.
Whilst I know you're in the USA and I'm in the UK. I can say that what you describe she likely would be eligible for disability payments (can't imagine the US being any more strict than here. When you do any paperwork be brutal,break it down to the finest details. I.e. when she gets dressed talk about the complexity behind her picking material she can tolerate wearing and the fact it may take her 5 times longer than others to just put on a tshirt. It's heart breaking to do as you can feel you're selling her short, but it pays off in the end.
In the UK we have the equality at work act. If you tell an employer about your disability they have to demonstrate adjustments for you to do your job otherwise theyre in breach of the law. I dunno if you have anything in the US?
Thank you for the information about what’s working for you and your son. I wonder what the medication is called in the states? I’ll check it out.
We do have disability protections here. She is extremely hesitant to share that information with her employer. Unfortunately, she is worried they will judge her and treat her unkindly. She and I have had a lot of conversations about letting her boss know so she is protected.
By the way, if your daughter is looking for an ADHD support community, this website also hosts CHADD'S Adult ADHD Support Group.healthunlocked.com/adult-adhd/
I'm a regular in that community, and would be happy to welcome her there.
There are now more Adult ADHD support groups, forums, and communities than ever before, including private Facebook groups like:
• ADHD Essentials Community
• ADHD reWired Community
There are also ADHD groups on Discord. You could also check on CHADD.org or Meetup for in-person ADHD support groups in your area.
I don't have any advice, unfortunately. I just wanted to share that you are not alone. My 30 year old step-son moved back in with my husband and me last week. My problem is that I don't know if we are doing the right thing by letting him move back in. It feels like we are allowing him to not be responsible. On the other hand, I couldn't let him live in the street. It's difficult to know what is best, especially when they are old enough to not share medical information with you. He also says he has a plan but won't share the plan with us. When we talk to him about getting a job or getting new skills to get a job, he tells us that it's his business and wants us to stay out of it. It's very frustrating. Best wishes to you with your daughter. I hope she gets over Covid soon. It sounds like therapy would be very beneficial for her as well as a good disability attorney. Good luck!
This sounds so familiar. The privacy laws are really frustrating when you're trying to help in situations like this. My daughter lives across the country -- she's 25. I can understand your concern, although I really wish I could be in a position to help my daughter work through stuff. My daughter actually was not formally diagnosed with ADHD until she was in college already and living across the country. I am very remorseful that we didn't recognize the signs earlier. We were getting treatment for her for anxiety and depression. Even that came late -- we didn't realize there was so much lurking beneath the surface. Anyway, I don't have anything helpful to say. It was encouraging to hear your story.
Has she ever had a comprehensive evaluation by a psychologist? If it’s at all financially feasible, since insurance usually doesn’t cover it (at least in the USA), I would start there. By that I mean a careful interview about her struggles and then what specific testing the psychologist would recommend. Possibly including IQ, additional executive functioning evaluation beyond that, and a diagnostic evaluation for autism. Given the car accident history, she may need to see a neuropsychologist because that’s the psychologist who specializes in testing and evaluation of people who have had a traumatic brain injury. Although it may be expensive, the long term self understanding she and your family get could help decrease frustration and get her a more nuanced view of a good fit of future jobs, life path, appropriate expectations, etc. If everyone thinks she’s a round peg and she’s been a square peg for her whole life, this could be very useful.
Hi, she has had several evaluations except an MRI. I hope she will be able to get one of those next. She had a Spect scan and they said it looked like she had a traumatic brain injury but it’s not as detailed as an MRI and it was done through the Aymen clinic. Not a regular doc. Thank you for your advice 😊
Sorry to hear that my question is your daughter willing to do something to keep it under control it? If yes, I suggest you do mindfulness, guided meditation, and breathing techniques. It will slow down your body-mind connection, and you will start making more conscious decisions in a day. The most crucial thing is that a person needs to organize daily goals, and I advise my client to use a notebook or an electronic device to make a daily routine.
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