Medication

[Listening1]

My son is 10 years old. He was diagnosed last year with combined type ADHD and anxiety. We tried the stimulants and had to stop because he started losing weight. Had no appetite. We are now on the third med. He was put on Strattera about mid- September this year. Is there anyone whose child is using the same med ? When can I start to look for the effects to kick on? With the stimulants the effects were seen quite early but the Strattera seems like it's taking a long time. And .. does anyone find that their child sleeps a lot on this med? I find that mornings are hard for my son even though he gets 10-12 hours of sleep. Wakes up cranky and in a defiant mood . We only had this issue on occasion before he started on meds.This has been an exhausting and discouraging journey for both of us. Any suggestions out there?

I have tried a lot of parenting strategies to deal with behavioral issues and there is nothing that works consistently. I feel at times like a very bad parent especially when other people make certain suggestions around discipline. I am a single mother so it gets tough sometimes.

I have tried to use an approach where I explain, give options, positive reinforcement etc. I have been criticized for not being firm enough when family observe his behavior. In my mind I have become so conflicted at times that it gets to me.

Do I exercise more firmness or more understanding? I have read that too much explanation in a child with ADHD makes no difference.

I have done alot of reading on the topic and have a lot of anxiety about it since I learned that ADHD that is not properly treated can lead to Oppositional Disorder which can eventually cause a person to end up in jail as an adult. The thought makes me sick. I am trying here.....

[Aspen797]

Hello! Our son tried straterra this past summer. It is a slow buildup to get to the therapeutic level. For our son we had to go low dose and for longer periods for him to acclimate. If we moved to quickly to the next higher dose he would experience side effects (emotional/sad/irritable—which our doctor took seriously as the medication does have a black box warning). Our son had things he really liked about the medication and things he didn’t. His appetite was normal which was great, and the effects work around the clock, unlike stimulants. He was also a little more cheerful and less anxious. Unfortunately he did have loose stools and an elevated heart rate and we eventually stopped due to those. He says that he really wishes he could have continued because of the positives. On the upside, and perhaps a little eerily, the medication restructures the brain a bit while on it, so even after stopping many people find their attention a bit improved over baseline. My son feels that for himself. We have gone back to low dose stimulant combined with low dose guanfacine which works for him. I hope this medication works for your son, but if it doesn’t don’t feel too disheartened. You might need to work with a child psychiatrist who has a better feel for dosing and types of medication. There is an art to it, and starting too high or moving too fast can lead to medication failures when a more thoughtful approach might not have.

Regarding parenting, you are not alone in doubting yourself and feeling like a bad parent. I don’t think that there is a parent in this forum who hasn’t struggled and felt like this too. Personally, I’ve had the best luck with positive parenting (and Ross Greene’s Plan B) which it sounds like you do. Some good evidence based parent training programs include Triple P and the Incredible Years. A number of parents here also like an online coach called ADHD Dude. I found the website Tilt Parenting very helpful, as well as her podcasts. It’s all about finding your tribe.

I’m sure others will chime in with great ideas. Welcome to this supportive community!

[Listening1 in reply to Aspen797]

Thank you so much Aspen797. I have noticed that my son is irritable at times but he usually manages to work through it with some support from me and a little time. It is so refreshing to hear from another parent who understands. Those closest to you who don't understand ADHD sometimes think their advice is helpful but it can really add to the discouragement . I am grateful for the resources that you suggested and I will definitely look into reaching out for the additional parenting support.

Again ,thank you so much.

[Juniper52]

Well, I can’t offer any wisdom about Strattera (our 14 yo has been doing well on Vyvanse for the past year and a half), but I wanted to jump in and echo ALL of your parenting struggles. It is HARD!! I spend countless hours worrying that I’m doing it wrong, not doing enough, being too lenient, being too harsh, and feel the judgment of other parents and the world on me often! I’ve found that the best thing I can do is offer myself a ton of grace, remind myself daily that I’m doing the absolute best that I can, and also that the frustrating truth of it all is that, at the end of the day, our kids are going to turn out however they’re going to turn out… we ultimately have no control over that. We offer love, support, lots of encouragement, many gentle (and not so gentle) reminders, we get angry and yell, we mess up in many ways, we need to take space (hopefully you have some supports and get breaks from it all sometimes), and then we have to let them be who they’re going to be. You are definitely not alone in this!!!

[Listening1 in reply to Juniper52]

Thanks Juniper52. My son also tried Vyvanse and we had to change as he started losing weight. I am loving the supportive space that this support group provides. I am quickly beginning to see that I am not alone in a lot of my thoughts and feelings. And I am glad to hear that other parents also feel like losing their cool at times. I guess the best at thing to do is to take one day at a time. Thanks for your encouragement.

[laddu2012]

My daughter is 10 on steterra 18 mg. Mornings are extremely hard for us too she is very sleepy and defiant. We started ABA therapy for her they suggested to keep a to do list and keep a reward in the end like extra video game time or the kid gets ice cream in the end of the week if he completes his task. So far the eating breakfast has gotten better but getting dressed for school is whole another challenge for us. But being firm is not going to help at all .

[Listening1 in reply to laddu2012]

Thank you laddu2012. It doesn't do anything for me to get stern. Will your stattera does change because my son is at 25 mg right now. Mornings are very hard for us. It doesn't matter if he slept for 12 hours. He always wants more sleep. If I didn't work from home 3 days a week I would have lost my job already. I have to speak to his teachers frequently or else I never see homework. He loses things constantly. Sometimes I run out of steam as it is hard to o keep up with all the needs.