9 1/2 year old with anxiety and possible adhd

[Deezkids84]

Hi there. I’m pretty new this forum, and this is my first time posting. I’m mostly just looking to out our story out there, hoping others can relate.

Ever since my son was little he’s had problems with anger, zero frustration tolerance, irritable, agitation , impulsiveness . He was diagnosed with anxiety by a pediatric behavioral specialist a few years ago, and is in a low dose of sertraline. There was what we think a mild improvement, but it’s really up and down. He is very argumentative, disrespectful, and defiant. We have done numerous Vanderbilt forms over the bast 3 years. Some with the behavioral specialist, and some with the pediatrician. Resulting in possible adhd. It’s never been 100% a yes. He had started seeing a therapist, but it was during the pandemic and remote just wasn’t working. She had since retired, and we have struggled with getting him in elsewhere. It is so hard to see his behavior as involuntary vs choice. I know he would never chose to be in trouble all if the time, but it’s really a struggle to not get angry and constantly discipline his poor behavior. Especially when he hits his sister or is cruel to her.

we have tried stimulants (focalin xr), but it didn’t really seem to help. Mostly what we saw was increased agitation, restlessness, and he was withdrawn and emotional. We see a psychiatrist in a few weeks to figure out the next steps.

We just want our boy to get all of the help he can to set him up for a good life. I so badly want him to be confident, and not feel like a bad kid. It’s incredibly stressful for the whole family.

to everyone else who is struggling with not knowing if you are making the right choices for your kids. You are not alone.

thank you for your time

[Knitting20projects]

Do you know what kind of qualifications the pediatric behavioral specialist had? How is he doing academically? What are his friendships like? And has he ever had a careful evaluation by a pediatric speech therapist? Has anyone ever had concerns for any developmental delays? It sounds like he probably has had executive functioning difficulties since he was very young and I’m wondering if he has had a really comprehensive psychological/executive functioning skills evaluation. I would really hesitate to say this is a “behavior problem “ until he has been carefully evaluated by someone really expert in autism, ADHD, speech & language delays, learning disabilities, and social skills difficulties. Calling this a purely psychiatric or behavior problem, I think, without eliminating those issues first would be doing your child a disservice. I’m really sorry things have been so stressful and hard for so long. Also, I hope his school staff has weighed in. I would try to get a referral to either an autism diagnostic center or a developmental behavioral pediatrician in addition to seeing the child psychiatrist. I may be way off, of course, but the chronic irritability, low frustration tolerance, and explosive behavior make me wonder about the rigidity, black and white thinking, and “I had 1 plan, it didn’t work, and I’m falling apart because I can’t come up with a plan B” of kids with autism. I hope this is helpful.

—pediatrician, mom of 2 with autism & ADHD, 1 with intellectual disability

[Deezkids84 in reply to Knitting20projects]

Thank you for your input! I agree, and I will continue searching for answers. Im interested in exploring more evaluation/diagnostic avenues. I’m working hard on becoming a good advocate for him, and getting to the route of it all. The specialist we saw did a series of testing including IQ (average score). Mostly a lot of question forms (anxiety/Vanderbilt) that would need to be filled out by ourselves, his teacher, and sometimes the child, before our appointments. He’s never had any speech problems. He does get super focused on one thing at a time. Meaning whatever new friend he has, or thing that he is into.

[Knitting20projects in reply to Deezkids84]

The “super focus” on whatever he’s into at the time is worth watching. Another questionnaire that can assess executive functioning is the BRIEF, but you need to have it scored by a child psychologist, and usually it’s done as part of a larger evaluation (neuropsychological or autism diagnostic evaluation, etc). Best wishes to you as you sort things out. Even with diagnoses, we are often still navigating a marathon, not a sprint 💕

[FitsInNoBox]

Thanks for sharing! You are not alone. Our son has different symptoms, but we have also struggled to find any answers. It was a yes on ADHD, but multiple medications didn't make a difference and he still struggles with anxiety, executive function, focus and being hyper-emotional. He has seen many specialists and the answer is always something of a shrug, because he does not fit neatly into any diagnostic box. I have seen some improvement as he matures, but I have a feeling he will always struggle. Just sympathizing and hoping you are able to find something that works!

[Deezkids84 in reply to FitsInNoBox]

Thank you, and good luck to you! I hope we can, at the very least, give them some tools to help them manage ❤️

[Melroy]

It's as if you have just described my 7 year old boy! We are going for our first psychologist appointment today to get him evaluated (part of a 6-7-session evaluation). However I'm pretty sure he at least has ADHD with anxiety (maybe with an underlying cause, not sure... my mom was bipolar which is always is on my mind).

I have never felt so drain and helpless in my life. And I feel the exact same way as you, I don't want him to think he's a bad kid, but at the same time I can't let him behave like that.

I sure hope we will get some answers soon and be able to work on his behaviours. I hope you will too!

[Deezkids84 in reply to Melroy]

Thanks for your response. Good luck with everything!

[Knitting20projects in reply to Melroy]

Hugs and best wishes to your son and your family. I hope you find some answers and strategies for your son and your family 💕💕💕