Hello, I’m new here. My son is turning 7 in 2 months. He is having trouble at school with keeping his hands to himself and staying focused on his work. He had iss for 3 days last week because he hit another kid that was in his face. Also, in kindergarten last year he had been sent home a few times for crying because he didn’t want to put what he was doing away to move onto something else. He was also kicked out of school for 3 days in kindergarten because he slapped another student that was annoying him. He is disciplined at home for his actions and I take things away from him as well. I’ve tried positive reinforcement for good behavior that works sometimes but not all the time. He’s a smart kid but I’m afraid that since he’s starting to lose focus that it might affect him academically. He even forgets things like flushing the toilet at times which is frustrating because I’ve told him a thousand time to flush it. We’ve seen a psychologist and he said he does have some attention issues based off the computer test he did in his office and I had his teacher fill out a form about his behavior. Should hear back from him soon. I’d like to try and keep him off medication but if it’s absolutley necessary then we may try it. Any suggestions on what to do would be appreciated.
My 7 year old is having issue at scho... - CHADD's ADHD Pare...
My 7 year old is having issue at school with behavior.
I struggled with the idea of putting my 7 year old (now 8) on meds, but I I even cried about it. But I can say so far so good. He has started off the 2nd grade way better than he did the 1st. I used to phone calls and notes home all the time. But as soon as he started on meds things changed so much for the better. He has started out the 2nd grade thriving and striving, no phone calls home or notes about his behavior or lack of focus. I still struggle with the meds but I try to ask as many questions as possible and research as much as possible. Good luck
Which medication are you using? We just tried Focalin and did not like the way it changed my son's personality. We are trying Vyvanse next week.
I’m even thinking about changing his diet. Which will be really hard but it’s worth it if it helps too. Thanks for your input, I’m glad he’s doing better! I’ll definitely be looking into it as an option for sure.
I have a friend whose some was acting out like this, he sounds frustrated. This can definately happen with ADHD but also can happen with kids who aren't being pushed in school to their potential. My friend was a huge fan of essential oils to keep her son calm. And they worked for some time, as he got older she needed to introduce meds but was quite successful in keeping him off of them. There are vitamins too. I know she spoke with a holistic doctor and they recommended items eith magnesium. They also sell some items in vitamin shops called something like calm kids. Anything natural is worth a shot and can't harm him. You can try while you wait for the results to see if natural is a good option for you and if not there is no shame in using medication.
He is taking vitamins called Focus that’s from our natural foods store here and he’s been taking New vitamins with omega 3s and has been taking it for over a month now. I just hoped that it would work a little better than it has for us. I’ve also thought about him being bored at school too but they don’t seem to think that’s the case at his school.
I disagree about the natural stuff can't hurt him. I took an over the counter herb one time and had a horrible reaction to it.
I know no one likes to do medication. But imagine what constantly being in trouble and getting kicked out of classes does to his self-esteem. If he is being aggressive with the other kids he's going to have trouble having friends to. My youngest grandson had that problem when he was unstable.
My son is 7 and experiences similar issues. He struggles with having friends. His aggression has not gone away. I worry about this constantly hurting his self esteem. He has been on dexmethylphenidate 15mg a day for over 8 months and I'm worried. No changes really to his behavior. The doctor wants to keep giving more meds. And adding meds. Instead of trying something new. I cry too! It is very stressful
And to mention he is missing instruction by not focusing in class.
My daughter Gia isn't on meds yet either but we have our first apt in Dec. I was once told if she had diabetes would you not give her insulin, if she had lyme (which her sister has) would you not give her antibiotics, if she had any other illness would you not give her what makes her feel better They also said AHDH is not a sympathy receiving illness its frustrating. Learn all you can on how he must feel, his executive functioning, and lack of self control.
Write a letter addressed to his teacher, principal and school psychologist if there is one on-campus requesting an assessment. Although schools do not officially diagnose, the assessment will likely indicate ADHD. Your son is a candidate for protection under an 504 Plan or an IEP. It sounds to me like he might require a behavior intervention plan at school. You will never change behavior through traditional discipline or reminders. Look for parent education classes on how to parent a child with ADHD; CHADD, ImpactADHD, universities, SELPAs offer such. Medication, behavior therapy, parent education and social skills training is a well rounded treatment plan. Medication is life changing for my son, however, without behavior therapy and a BIP at school he'd have made no where near the progress. Hang in there.
Jjs2015
I would put him on meds but talk to your Pediatrician. Sounds like he needs to be evaluated for an IEP at school which will provide a Behavior Specialist, OT, etc. This helped my son.
Hope That Helps
My son was the exact same way. I got constant phone calls from day 1 and notes home everyday about him not liking transitioning and how he would be aggressive with the kids and the teachers, he would always be removed from the class which meant that he wasn't doing his work and falling behind. The school did evaluations and we noticed that he has a hard time expressing his emotions and needs intervention with communication skills and behavioral as well. He was moved to an ESE class mainly because we wanted to try and see how he would do in a smaller setting and he's been there 2 weeks now and is doing amazing. He is also on meds (Ritalin 10mg 2×/day). He has stopped hitting kids, he listens, is able to sit and do his work...he is a different kid and he's doing great. He went from a classroom of 22 kids to a classroom with only 8. You have to work with the school, the guidance counselor, the school phycologist, the teacher..all as a group and see what will work best for him.
Did your kiddo have any weird side effects to the medication when he started?
Yes some but manageable.
That’s awesome! My son sleeps and eats really good now so hopefully if we do the medication route it won’t affect his either. Thanks for your advice!
work closely with the doctor to ensure the dosing is right. there are several types available and if it will help witb the impulsiveness then its worth a try. you dont want your son to have a bad reputation at school. as he gets older you want him to be able to focus on his work as well. good luck
I am a single mother of two boys 11 &6 .I am no stranger to hyper little boys. My oldest son went through a typical active stage. My youngest son named Myson was having outburst in school, crawling under tables, taking things that didn't belong to him, always moving, very forgetful and extremely disobedient. This was at home and school. Daycare he throws tantrums if he can't have his way but the instructor there knows how to avert his attention. After all the phone calls from his teacher about his behavior I decided to have him evaluated and he was diagnosed with ADHD. He has been on Vyvanse for a week and he has improved drastically. The first day I cried because he seemd to be in a daze half the day but then I decided to find things for him to do. Legos have been a heaven sent. It keeps him busy And ingaged so he doesn't go into a daze anymore. Before dinner we do a fun activity. The we eat because he has an appointment by then (the meds can cause a decrease in appetite) He only takes I once a day in the morning and it usually starts to wake off around 6 pm the only bad thing is his sleep habits suck bit always have so it's nothing new for me. We are working on it still but I refuse to medicate for sleep too. In all medication is not a horrible thing but it should go along with a good diet ,schedule and other activities. It's all still new to me but with prayer and extra love and care I have faith that things will continue to get better.
You will more than likely have to tell to flush the stool or clean up his food area where he eats and makes his own meals several more times. Call him back to the seem of the crime. It's still a work in progress for us. Grandson has been potty trained since he was 2, still were the bed on occasion and just now remembering clean his bottom. I told him that if he didn't start cleaning back there I was going to have pamper his but like a baby. He has a cousin 2 who wears pull ups so we still pamper he butt. It was a really long conversation, especially when he replies with his questions and answers. Oh boy!!🙆♂️
The meds will help him. It like he needs glasses. The more focused and settled he is, the happier he will be.
This sounds just like my son. I am a teacher and fought the medications all school year. However, he cannot keep hitting students (impulsivity) and ADHD kids forget everything. They cannot help it. Try to read up on it and keep your self informed. I have learned so much from this process when I thought since I was a teacher I already knew everything. Medication has helped our 6 yr old so much. He even told me his brain feels better. Their little brains can’t slow down enough to remember to flush the toilet or grab their jacket at school. Like my doctor told me, try the medicine and if it doesn’t work out at least you know you tried.
Is he on medication? If so what kind?
What medication is working?
I disagree that over the counter medications can't hurt. I would never give your child anything with us his doctor's okay. Over the counter herbs and things like that are not regulated by the FDA and people have had horrible reactions to them.
We have tried prescription and omega 3 and they helped with sleep but not with ADHD
It would appear that you and I are facing the same issues. I never really thought of him being aggressive. Is that what this is. He's had all the tests, and we've even talked to a therapist last weekend and she said that the things we are seeking are characteristics of these kids. We didn't discus his problems with aggression because the lase one was a few months ago and didn't appear that serious to us but I guess to the receivers of the actions of others.
We’ve tried a dose of Adderall for a few weeks and it didn’t help. He was more emotional on their medication. So we are trying something new once his Dr gets back to me. Adderall did help with the impulsive behavior at least!
I guess meds is to come. We trying not too. but was in encouraged to talk to Dr. any way. My grandson turns 7 early Sept.
I’ve even tried some Focus supplements from our heath foods store before doing medication and it just didn’t help. I think if you’ve tried different approaches and they don’t work then medication is sometimes the only answer until they learn how to manage it on their own. My son went to as psychologist last fall before he turned 7.
We tried my son on Adderall and it helped with the impulsive behavior but made him more emotional and grumpy. So we are switching him for Focalin XR for a week to see how this one helps him.
Time to start the journey. Request an evaluation via email in written form from the school. They can test your son with their diagnosticians and are required by law to do so once you formally request. Reference Wright’s Law (.org, or google it) if you need a form. Ask the school what services and support may be available. Skip the pediatrician if you have insurance and make an appointment for Pediatric Psych for a formal evaluation. If you don’t have insurance, you should be able to find a city or state agency that will help you with finding a place that will do it for free. It’s scary but honestly more so for you than your baby.
ADHD is a neurological disorder and mental health issue that can be genetic, many of these kids are very intelligent but sensitive to noises, crowds, lights, and other sensory stimuli. Early intervention is the very best way to fmake a difference. I suggest Attitude magazine (ADHD ONline magazine, Understood- also online resource for ADHD and C.H.A.D.D. These sites are able to help you navigate the steps and help you with finding counselors and mental health professionals for you and your son. You will need therapy and training to learn the best behavior modification and coping skills for yourself and your child. Remember, if your son has ADHD or similar issues this is not anyone’s fault. It is your son’s brain and nervous system (BIOLOGY & Chemistry) that are different so he will need totally different parenting than most people are used to seeing. Severe punishment, embarrassment and asking a child with ADHD “WHY?” don’t work but many other strategies do help. You’re not alone and your son isn’t a “bad kid. “
Try not to panic bc you have to take care of yourself, parent burn out can happen quickly and it’s a long road but he’s your baby so you stick in there even when you want to give up.
My Best Wishes,
I'm having the same issues
Hi - I'm sorry your kiddo--and you--are struggling. My son is 6 1/2, and spent a lot of kindergarten in the principal's office. The most comforting thing I've done for myself is learn about ADHD, so I understand as much as I can what's going on (or not) in his head. Just reminding a kid with ADHD to do things like flush the toilet is unlikely to work, I think, because folks with ADHD have trouble with their working memory (the part that you use to remember to do things like that). (And you will drive yourself around the twist reminding him a bajillion times to no effect. I speak from experience.) Two very readable books are ADHD Is (Mostly) Awesome and How to ADHD (which is also a YouTube channel--so you can start there, if a book seems overwhelming). The books pitched to parents by researchers are useful but harder to read.
Medication can be great, apparently--we're still working to find the right med/dose for our son--but there are also strategies you can use as a parent that support your kid's executive function troubles (which result in things like forgetting to flush the toilet and poor impulse control). There's "behavioral parent training" -- sometimes insurance will cover this if you've got a diagnosis. It's just a class that teaches you strategies that work better with kids who have ADHD.
We also started our son on Omega-3 supplements. Hard to say if they're helping yet, but they're not hurting. For some ADHD folks, things like caffeine can help them focus/calm down. The director of my son's after-school program told me when her daughter has trouble falling asleep, she offers her a caffeinated tea at bedtime!
Lastly, a 504 plan can help with behavior at school, depending on how good the school/teachers are about following it. It's not as official/strict as an IEP, but it lays out things that can help your son manage his symptoms better at school, which is really a challenge for most kids with ADHD. It can be anything from be allowed to use fidgets, sitting in front of the class so as not to be distracted, having more room on the rug to help him keep his hands to himself, having the choice of staying at his desk instead of sitting on the rug... whatever you've figured out helps. For what it's worth, the biggest challenge for my son is social interactions--he's hit kids, thrown balls at another kid's face, etc., etc. It's been better this year, so far, but lunch and recess are hard because they're unstructured and there's less supervision. Talking about what triggers his anger/stress, and what he can do instead has definitely helped, but having ADHD also means that he doesn't always get that moment in between the provocation and his response to think about what the better response would be. Role playing--basically practicing dealing with the triggers--can help.
Anyway, good luck, and hang in there.
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