4 year old and waiting for turns

[sbass16]

I have done so much research, therapy and learning when it comes to my own ADHD and now parenting my 4 year old with it. I am at a loss now. He wanted to to do gymnastics, but the class isn't set up well for him. Its a younger teacher, not many clear boundaries about the activities put in place by her, transitions are not defined well, etc. when they do an obstacle course activity, the mats are put out into a square and they are just supposed to go. He obviously struggles with that and pushes past other kids. So far, I wait as long as I can before going in but inevitably have to to help him wait for a turn/not shove past other kids. Today I had to take him outside to reset for a minute which was full of screams and tears. Even trying to hit me to get me to let him go back in. (Which is not generally normal for him)

We have been practicing turns at home, playing stop and go games etc. Anything else I can do? Suggestions?

Seriously though, he is doing really well. He is absolutely trying his hardest but gets caught up in the excitement of the moment. I hate how the other moms look at me though. Like him struggling means he is a bad kid? Gah. People are the worst sometimes.

[STEM_Dad]

It sounds like one of your son's traits is difficulty with impulse control.

Since you also have ADHD, you probably know this, but it is said that the developmental delay in executive functioning is about 30%. That means that a 4 year old with ADHD, like your son, would behave more like a 3 year old.

The other parents wouldn't understand, unless they also have a child with ADHD.

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Individual instruction or small group gymnastics instruction might be better for him. Your son is dealing with 1) his own excitement, 2) a new situation & environment, and 3) a new adult figure in charge. At his age, even neurotypical children can have difficulty taking turns and can be impulsive.• Is there a more experienced teacher at the gym, who probably would have some skills and experience with children like your son?

• Can you get access to the area outside of class time, for you to work with you son practicing stop/go? --- If that's not an option, then try to practice the gymnastics activities with him at home, using the stop/go methods.

• Also, you may already be doing this, but work with him on taking turns in other situations where there are other kids... like at a playground, friend's house, preschool, etc.

• In class, be sure to praise him when he does wait his turn. One of the best ways to help a child develop good behavior is to recognize them when they ARE doing so, no matter how small the effort might be. (In my mind, I label this as: "Caught ya being GOOD!")

• Talk to the teacher before class, so you can explain your son's needs, propose ideas, & make requests. Also, talk to whoever is in charge, and be sure to praise whatever you can about the teacher and the program, so that you don't come across as a complainer or like you are trying to manipulate the situation.

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Many kids like to be helpful and to feel important. Maybe you and the teacher can roleplay with your son as the teacher's assistant...make him more aware of taking turns by making him feel responsible for encouraging his classmates to do so.