New to the group

[Briankelvy]

My daughter "12" was diagnosed with ADHD with behavioral issues when she was 7. We have had her on a host of different medications and now she is on an "okay" regimen. I say okay because it's not great, but is good for now. She can be a challenge and a sweet girl all in one day. It's the cycle of moods and how long the medication lasts. I hope to make some connections in this group, just to vent to each other if nothing else. I find it's cathartic to talk about the stressers and struggles.

Thanks everyone

Brian

[orangedogs]

Hi! we also have a girl. She is 7 and although she is not formally diagnosed, I am pretty sure she has adhd. Her brothers have it too. She is not on any medications & I hope we dont have to put her on any. What kind of adhd does your daughter have? I am looking for a support group, somewhere to talk to

[Trying1978]

Hi Brian!

Girl (almost 9) and boy (7) here (plus a 3 yo girl along for the ride). Glad you're here and things seem to be going OK! Been looking for that kind of thing myself especially as, where I am, guys get a little bit of a weird attitude for being much involved at all.

A Dad 🙄

[Lucille520]

I agree. It's not healthy to keep things bottled up.

Our grandson is 6 with ADHD. We are still in the testing of medications and its dosages. I can say that it has helped but not as well as I had hope. During school, we still have some issues regarding hus behavior; not listening. However, he's doing his school work. I never image it being like this.

[Lucille520 in reply to Lucille520]

Wow! It sounds as though we are experiencing the same issue(s).

With him not listening, at times, it drives me up the wall! It seems out of the blue his mind is on something totally different. Additionally, whenever he decides on something (which is something that he shouldn't😀! Things usually don't go right). Perfect example, today he wanted to help me make a Tina salad. So, I did allow him to with lots od direction. However, we got to a point where I wanted him to stop and go away. Well, he wanted to do more! Stopped listening as I felt that he should've been happy that I considered his assistance and to stop/leave when I wanted him to. He had a little melt down and was given time to calm down. Then he ate and asked for seconds and has been my shadow for the evening😊.

I find myself watching over him consistently because he gets himself in trouble! We often visit our neighbors with kids. I turned my back for a few minutes and he turned on the water from faucet located outside. Now, this was addressed the day before for him not to do that! However, he does!! He didn't learn/remember that the day before we went home after that situation. He had a long melt down because he didn't want to go home. It's draining and frustrating!

With school he does his school work and completes most of it. However, at times he's talking to his classmate, moving around the room, inder the table/desk.

The medication has helped with some of his impulse and some hyperactivity. School will get tougher this fall!

I feel that I need a second opinion on the medication. I anticipated more xalm and focus. It doesn't help thst consultation and therapy professionals are almost non-existing.

My apology for the long message😃. It helps to get it out.

[Knitting20projects in reply to Lucille520]

What I’ve found is that the medication has helped our son respond better to our redirection, but I agree, it’s definitely still a challenge. I have found the most helpful parenting tips have been: (1) subtract 2-3 years from your child’s age & base your maturity/behavior expectations on that in kids with ADHD; and (2) they respond better to positive feedback for desired behavior (they can become oppositional or stop trying or listening after so much negative feedback which of course they get constantly because I am always correcting our son’s behavior. The medication allowed our son to do some things right. Then we could praise him for those things, concretely: “I love how you’re using a calm body & calm voice to tell me you need help,” or “nice job sitting so patiently as I get your snack! I know that can’t be easy!” Without the medicine our poor son was quite literally so dysregulated, he was getting negative comments from us all day long.

I would look for small victories & celebrate those. I would also read about executive functioning. Many kids with ADHD have difficulty switching between tasks, not as much as a child with autism, but still can get stuck on something & truly it’s way harder for their brain to switch to something else. They are not intentionally being defiant. This is a difference in their brain wiring, essentially. So it’s very frustrating for family members without ADHD to imagine the child isn’t actively defying their demands. And that can be a setup for major conflict. Learning & understanding more now will help you and your grandson. It is definitely challenging & feels unfair. My nephew sails through things, and our son, while very intelligent, is burdened by these challenges.

[Hidden]

Totally agree - it helps to talk about struggles to parents who also have kids with ADHD. Welcome to this forum.

[Knitting20projects]

It’s easy to feel like you’re the only family going through this. This group is helpful because you realize you’re not.

[Lucille520 in reply to Knitting20projects]

I totally agree!