help with teachers

[ADHD_student]

I am a student with ADHD and I have to deal with teachers who believe that ADHD is an excuse and I am just lazy. I know that being called lazy over and over can cause depression so I try to ignore them. what do I do?

[Blue_Baby_Bear]

Keep advocating for yourself. Ignore those ugly comments. Remember you have a beautiful mind. What is it that you having trouble with?

[Onthemove1971]

Thanks for your post.

Do you have a 504 plan?

Or are you in college?

As long as your 504 plan has everything you need they can't really argue.

If you are in college then you should have an office for students with disabilities that can talk to your teachers, which may help.

Is it the extra time they are arguing about?

Just remember the time you are with each teachers is short. They come and go in your life.

You could consider writing a short "introduction" note/letter about who you are.. what your dreams/path is, what struggles you have and how much the accommodations help you. Then give that to them at the beginning of the school term, it is great way to start working with them.

Not sure you need to convince them of anything, just get what you need that help you.

You sound like a great advocate, we need great people maybe you have a future job waiting for you.

Well.. Best of luck! We are always for you when you need us.

[jolinn in reply to Onthemove1971]

I appreciate your positivity, but teachers should not be allowed to do this. They simply SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED to insult children. Children should not have to tolerate this at all, and just wait out that "short time" with teachers. That short time could and does cause a lot of damage to students. And teachers do argue, despite children having 504's and IEP's. It is very difficult for some teachers to understand adhd, and they often misunderstand it in a child and misinterpret some behaviors of a child who has adhd. It is simply very difficult for some teachers to handle a child who, for example, "isn't listening to them" or who "blurts something out", and I quote these things because some teachers don't understand why a child with adhd may not hear even them, or why a child might speak when the teacher is speaking. The teacher does not understand that the student may actually not have heard and/or processed the sound of the teacher's voice. Instead of understanding, the teacher gets irritated and cannot control their irritation and insults the child in front of other children. As for calling students lazy (or even just seeing them that way), I think the laziness lies with the teacher. It is lazy teacher who has not taken the time to understand children with adhd, who has not learned about what it is and how it affects a child's learning process. It is ignorant for a teacher to see a child with adhd in this way. The children who seem to get hurt the most are the children who have a difficult time regulating their behavior, which can be a tell-tale sign of adhd. So many teachers do not understand this lack of regulation, or know how to deal with it. Many teachers cannot regulate their OWN emotions when they have a student in their class who has difficulty with this. These teachers need to be educated, and need to stop misinterpreting our children's behavior, and stop insulting our children!! We need more compassionate, intelligent teachers. It is not children's jobs to be advocates against something that they should not have had imposed on them to begin with.

[Hidden in reply to jolinn]

You are right and in ideal world that is how things should be. In ideal world teachers also should have better working conditions and better pay.

I’d say we as parents of kids with ADHD can help the teachers by diagnosing our children and medicating, participating in training for parents, therapy for our kids…And yes sometimes things aren’t right and maybe we even need to move our kid to a different school if teachers aren’t good enough.

Even I as a parent sometimes ‘blurt’ about my son with ADHD that he is lazy. I have ADHD too (I am not a teacher by the way!) and potentially many teachers also may have ADHD, depression, anxiety etc and be on a medication themselves! I mean, I definitely would be on a medication had I had to be a teacher in a state achool! 😉

I think teachers understand the reality that either the person pulls themselves together and achieves something or a person will be coddled by the parents and teachers being blamed, but at the end of the day it’s this child/person with ADHD or any other neurodiversity who has a whole life ahead of them and once the school is over this person has to be able to hold a job, have a health insurance and live independent life in the society.

Being a teacher is a very hard job, and it doesn’t pay as much as teachers should be paid for educating our children. Especially in a state primary school!

Many parents don’t help the teachers- parents who know their kids have something neurodiverse going on but refusing to diagnose or parents who chose not to try medication for the kids. We as parents have to help the teachers so teachers can help our kids.

[Imakecutebabies]

At the beginning of this school year, I sent my son's teacher an email outlining his diagnosis, symptoms he may exhibit in the classroom as a result of his diagnosis, and strategies that we use to help him with those symptoms. She was very appreciative.

Despite being a former teacher myself, I did not understand ADHD until after my son was diagnosed and I started reading a lot more about it. My general understanding had been "can't stay focused" and "too much energy," but that only scratches the surface. I did not get training on ADHD as a teacher and would have very much appreciated a description from any student with ADHD of what it is, how it affects the student and how I can best help them. (I only ever had 1 with a known diagnosis, and his medication made it a non-issue in class.)

So, while it isn't fun or fair for the burden to fall on you, politely providing your teachers with the education they need (what it is, how it affects you, and how they can help) may go a long way... and may help the students who come after you as well.

Regardless, I am so sorry you have been called lazy. It is abhorrent for any teacher to say that to any student regardless of the circumstances.

[Flora_Fauna]

This exact 'label' (Lazy) got attached to my 9 year old son whilst in primary school, that label was stuck to him by his Teachers as quoted " he is more than capable of doing his work, but just doesn't apply himself , he is often seen as lazy"...this 'Label' resulted in my battle to get my son his diagnosis as his Teachers & SEN teachers (yep even them) reported that "he was a capable child" therefore didnt allow my son to undertake any tests!

In fact it took me a further 3 Years! to battle for him, where finally at the age of '12' he has finally received his diagnosis of ADHD (inattentive type, with impulsivites) & Tic disorder..

Additionally my son was further diagnosed only last year at '14' with ASD & hypermobility. (Yes a Wonderful complex young man ♡ )

The moral of my story...fight for your child's rights, to be Seen, to be Heard & to be Understood!..

I have since contacted his 'Labeling ' primary school & presented them with knowledge of ADHD,ASD & their co'morbities & how to recognise the signs in a child at school!

I also reiterated that this was to prevent any further child in their care of being 'Failed' by their Ignorance & 'Labeling' system!.

Sadly my son still has Teachers within his Secondary school , whom unfortunately have that same Misinterpreting mindset (yep even though they have 'Clear' outlined knowledge of my sons difficulties,zoning's & quirks) , however Iam always there the minute my son mentions any comment/s made, reminding them!.

My son will start medication in the very near future, his zoning episodes have reached new levels in his teenage years (wish my son luck 🍀 in the next stage of his life's journey)

Stay Seen, Heard, & Understood ♡

[MaudQ]

My daughter is in high school and I’ve taught at the college level - something that I’ve found helps at both levels is to have someone at school running interference with the teachers. You (or your parents) should find the person at the counseling department or students with disabilities center responsible for communicating with the teachers. They can help make sure your 504 or IEP is being followed. Communicating with your individual teachers about school work and homework is good. They might need to be reminded of your accommodations. I don’t personally think you need to tell them all your life story. Most teachers are doing the best they can with what they have but, honestly, some people are jerks and you aren’t required to open yourself up to everyone. That’s just my opinion. If you’re not already, I’d start working a therapist or coach. They can help you build self esteem, learn how to let the negativity roll off and develop the skills to advocate for yourself. And find places and people that are positive for you so you can store up some positivity to balance out the negative 😊

[Peerandparent]

First, to reassure you, you are definitely not lazy. You probably put in considerably more effort, especially mental effort, than many of your peers.

If you're up for it, ask your teacher what their scientific basis is for their beliefs. ADHD is probably the best studied and best understood neurological disorder, and likely the poorest understood one in the general public. Most often their beliefs will be based on material that is far from credible, or is cherry picked and misleading information. Or it will be based on things they heard growing up from people who were trusted. A lot of other discrimination starts this way.

You can explain that ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder, and it's one that often gets misunderstood because it is a disorder that affects performance, not understanding. This is why people can often perceive it as a lack of discipline or effort, because they see that you understand, and they can't get why that understanding doesn't translate to performance.

Look up "ADHD parents Barkely". It's a 3 hour video, which means that it's unlikely that someone with that teacher's attitude will sit through it, but it might give you some talking points that will help.

Do your best to keep a log. Four columns:

1) Date and time

2) What they said/did

3) How their actions affected you, and

4) where it happened, and other people that may have seen/heard.

This log will be essential for your next step, which is that if you try to self-advocate and it's unsuccessful or makes things worse, you have supporting documentation when you enlist allies to help, or when you go to their boss (special needs office, head of department, vp, dean's office, school board, etc.)

I had an experience with a manager at a job I had. I logged, I tried to directly address it with them, and eventually talked to their boss about my experiences. Not only did my actions lead to a conga line of complaints outside of the poor person's office about my boss, but it lead to my manager being let go.

Remember that if the teacher has this sort of attitude, you are not the only person being affected. Not only do you deserve better treatment and more respect, but so do all the other students they have mistreated, and those they will mistreat in the future.

Most accomodations for ADHD are reasonable, easy to implement, and any teacher unwilling to adapt to the needs of their students need to get their head out of their butt.

That being said, it can be exceedingly hard to advocate for yourself, so enlist allies wherever you can. Noone is successful on their own. The whole idea of doing everything yourself is absurd. Take a look at any successful person and you will see a collection of people who they rely on for advice, support and collaboration. Seek out help and accept it when it's offered, just as you would likely not hesitate to help them if they asked.

Also, do your best to educate yourself on ADHD and self-advocacy, and surround yourself with positive and supportive people to counter the effect of the idiots you will have to deal with.

Hope this helps!