Any suggestions

[qscv]

I have a 16y old boy. ADHD, LD, and anxiety disorders have been diagnosed. I am sure more things are there. Refused to take meds at age of 12. He refuses any doctor visits, or any help and becomes very oppositional. Suffering from severe anger outbreaks. All our family is suffering.

How can I help him if he refuses to cooperate? I am scared and devastated... My family is falling apart. Help.

[Hidden]

Well all I can say is that I have a 9 year old who is taking meds but I don’t think they work well… And the behavioural strategies don’t work with him very well either. The way my son is going he will be the same like your son when he’s 16…

I’d say that legally if you feel that ‘he’s a risk to himself or others’ - so let’s say risk of harm to you and your family, you could be asking for help from your local mental health services for children. You would need to make sure that you present the situation as immediate risk, otherwise no one will help you unless you pay for a private doctor to come to your house to see your son. And I know that parents do it and have their children ‘sectioned’ and taken to hospital against their will. The trouble is that doing it ‘private’ is expensive. Once young person is in a paediatric mental health hospital there is a range of therapies available there- you have occupational therapists, clinical psychologists etc. Children get group therapy and so on. Unfortunately this all is not readily available for everyone who needs this kind of help…

[Aspen797]

I’m sorry you’re both struggling. Some kids who are anxious/defiant respond well to the collaborative problem solving method by Ross Greene. If you Google Lives in the Balance you’ll find it. It provides a framework for working together with your teen to note difficulties and come up with solutions. Can you see a therapist that works with families with children who are neurodivergent (ADHD, ASD, etc.)? Maybe you can get some advice and support to help you in reaching him with the goal that he eventually joins you in therapy.

[qscv in reply to Aspen797]

Thank you for your reply. I've tried…Most of these services are privet and affordable for me. I am still trying .

[MaudQ]

If your kid won’t accept help, one option is to focus on getting help for yourself. A therapist for you, parent coaching and/or a support group of parents. This has worked for me and also a good friend whose kid has BPD.

[qscv in reply to MaudQ]

Thank you.