My son is having an easier time with making good choices and behaving himself. But... I noticed today that he is having a harder time than usual with transition. Getting dressed in the morning has become more difficult, leaving stores, getting out of the car, getting ready for bed... etc.
It's EXTREMELY frustrating and im really unsure of how to handle it. I'm trying to stay calm and keep my cool, but beyond that...all I can do is threaten to take away privileges. Any suggestions?
Sounds like it could be anxiety? Was he somewhat like this before or is this new with the medicine?
He's not on medication. We use vitamins and essential oils to help with relaxation. We are waiting for behavioral therapy to be approved right now.
I was trying to get situational suggestions for easing transitions.
Sorry, we use vitamins and behavioral therapy but none of that will work without medications for anxiety for us.
what type of vitamins ??
Omega 3 and magnesium calcium zinc
Are the vitamins all in one or 3 different tablets ? What kind of essential oils ?
THe omega 3 is Barleans omega Swirl. The other is an all in one kids cal-mag-zinc. They're both liquid as my son won't take any tablets, not even chewables.
I use a blend of essential oils, one of the most helpful being very diluted Vetiver that I diffuse in his room at night. Also, Plant Therapy makes kidsafe blends that seem to help and they come in prediluted roll-ons.
These work for our family fairly well to take the edge off, but I made sure I spoke to my sons pediatrician before starting use. Anyone else considering using any of the above mentioned should too.
Do you keep a journal of exercise and diet? Is VERY important and will show you what makes the condition worse and what makes it almost go away.
This is a common challenge for kids with ADHD (it's one of the "Executive functions" you hear talked about) so in terms of you being frustrated, just know that you're not alone in this frustration...and also know he's doing this because he can't help it and he needs to learn some tools and techniques to accommodate this lacking skill/ability.
What I have seen help in these situations is to give him a heads' up a few minutes before the transition will happen so he knows the transition is coming and can be mentally prepared for it. Like for example a 5 or 10 minute warning. I recommend using timers as much as possible so that you're not doing the countdown (and reminding and 'nagging'), but rather his watch timer is.
Hope this helps!
Joyce Mabe
Thank you Joyce!
That is exactly what I do with my daughter, i.e. I give her a heads up 20 minutes before bedtime and then 5 minutes. She still whines but she goes without much more than that. I find she does well when she knows what to expect.
i think sm days kids without any issues bother they just want do whatvthey want.
or may be he would be tired
Someone on here said that Vayarin no longer requires a prescription. It is high-dose Omega-3 / vitamin compound
How old is your son
He's 5
A couple of suggestions:
1) If it's something that you do every day or often (like morning and bedtime routines). Try distilling what you expect him to do down to 3 or 4 simple steps. Put them in writing and post them in places he will see. You can use pictures if he doesn't read yet. He may feel overwhelmed by too many directions and having a simple path to pleasing you and being a success can really help. Also, it takes the responsibility away from you and gives it to your son, which is what you both want. You will still need to be his positive support by encouraging him to refer to his list, praising him when he completes one task and then asking him what's the next thing. It makes it an opportunity to be positive and give him feelings of accomplishment. When he completes his whole routine, he could earn a marble for a marble jar. When the jar is full, he could earn a small prize.
2) For things that are outside HIS normal routine... A combination of advance notice, and incentives works for us. First of all give YOURSELF lots of extra time to deal with the resistance, so you don't feel stressed and like you have to force him to do something. And give HIM as much time to get ready as possible. If it's something that I know way ahead of time, I might talk to him about it a day in advance to get him on my team. That way it's not a surprise and he's already invested when it's time. If it's shorter term or spontaneous, I try to give him a warning that the transition is coming about 5-10 minutes before so that he can start to expect it. This works best if I get down at his level and make sure we have eye contact. I explain what we're about to do first and then tell him how much time he has to get ready, then walk away. When it's time he will often still give me resistance, but it may not be quite as much. If he resists because he doesn't want to stop doing something he's enjoying, you might offer him some extra time doing that later. If he's avoiding doing something he doesn't like, then again, an incentive might help him push through. It gives him power, a choice and an opportunity to earn something. The whole time you're interacting, try to keep it positive and encouraging, even while he's being oppositional. Keep your tone light and without emotion (even though you're reading on the inside). If he does comply, shower him with praise, in the moment and then again later. If he doesn't comply, it's harder. I simply say that's too bad, I'm sorry you haven't earned your (insert privilege here). I know you really like it. I hope you change your mind. OR I know you'll do better next time. And then give him a few minutes by himself to think it over. 8 times out of 10, our son will change his mind and decide he wants the incentive. Also, our son gets an extra marble at the end of the day if he has in general behaved according to his Earning Privileges chart, where we have listed clearly and simply the main everyday behaviors we expect from him. Obeying parents is on the list. This gives him yet another opportunity to earn something, and also gives us an opportunity to reflect upon his day together. We talk about what he did good and what he can try to do better the next day.
There will still be times when this doesn't work and you will have a confrontation, but these strategies have drastically reduced those times for us.
Thank you so much! Exactly what I was looking for! Those suggestions are very helpful and thoughtful 😊
Have u tried a chart? I have a chart that I give my kids every morning. It has eat breakfast, brush teeth, get dressed, comb hair, grab you bag and get in the car on little cards. I set a time timer to show them how much time they have to complete the tasks. If they finish the tasks before the time timer goes off, they get Mombucks. They can use Mombucks to purchase small toys or cash in for real money. It makes my morning so much easier.
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