I was wondering if anyone had their junior high schooler on an anti anxiety med? We started school about 3 weeks ago. Hes had severe panic attacks in the parking lot of school 3 or 4 times. He gets ready eats breakfast gets in car than cant get out of car. He starts to cry, breathe heavy and freeze. I few times social worker had to come out and get him. I was looking for something to get him over this extreme anxiety just in morning
He seems to have a good day after he goes into the school.
He comes home i give him no reason to have fun. No electronics no internet..
Thanks
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kyeager
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I hear your frustration and my heart breaks for your son. I too dealt with this with my now 17yo daughter when she was in middle school.
His antidepressants haven’t kicked in yet at 3 weeks but in a couple more they should help bring the intense emotions down a little bit so that implementing strategies will be an easier.
1. I recommend finding him a psychologist who specializes specifically in school refusal.
2. Also there are good books about school refusal. One I recommend is by Bonnie Zucker - “Anxiety Free Kids: An Interactive Guide For Parents and Children.” It provides practical steps to help with school refusal.
A psychologist used exposure therapy to help my daughter get into the school. Unfortunately it never got easier for her because being in the classroom was always difficult for her too so now I have her in home instruction. Since your son is okay once he’s in the school, exposure therapy may really help him.
She had an IEP but the school really didn’t have any idea what her struggles are like so they could only do so much. You need a professional involved. They can work with the school.
Hang in there. Anxiety is a wild animal that isn’t easily tamed. You are wise to seek extra help for him and he’s lucky to have a parent in his corner. It’s not for the faint of heart. Hang in there.
Hi- so sorry your son is going through this. I am very familiar with school refusal as our daughter had this for many years. For years she asked to be homeschooled. She is currently in 7 th grade and on Sertraline for her anxiety. She also takes clonidine to help with sleep. You mentioned your son is fine once he’s in the building which is great. Mine continued with anxiety throughout the day esp at lunch/ recess and gym. Being that she was in a very big city school ,we asked she enter the school from another entrance to avoid the rush of over a thousand kids. We even asked if she can enter school slightly before everyone. Even a couple of minutes helps. Have you asked your son what in particular is making him uncomfortable? I would contact your sons AP and ask what can be done to help. AP’s have always been a lifeline for our family. Will share that last year ( 6 th grade) our daughters anxiety became very severe and she requested a smaller classroom to feel more comfortable. There was no classroom to meet her needs and we transferred her to a smaller school. So far this year she is not showing any signs of school refusal. Although she went ti a great school it wasn’t great for her and her needs.
Sorry you guy are going through this. This is pretty much exactly what my 7 y/o would go through in varying social situations. Would be fine at home and even in the car on the way to whatever place and then when we got to the door flight,fight,freeze mode kicked in. After he would have a panic meltdown and go in he would have a great day.
Our kiddo started on Fluoxetine first because he was clearly struggling with general anxiety on top of the social anxiety. Adding that on was a game changer for him. He felt so much better and was just being a little boy! It helped minor for the extreme social fear with peers though so we recently have had him take hydroxyzine ONLY for certain situations. Again, like night and day. SO much more relaxed and doesnt even seem to notice/remember that he was ever anxious around peers. For our son, it seems he just needs it on "first day" situations, special events like a birthday party, ect.
I was worried not only for how the panic felt for him but also the social consequences he would face when peers would see him panic like that. As you know im sure, its awful to watch it happen.
Good morning! My son, who is nine, started Prozac for anxiety due to refusing to go to school as well as attempting to run off school campus when he was there. We have had great results and about a week after he started the medication he was able to make it through the day without attempting to run out. It has been a year now and he is doing great.
My daughter has multiple diagnosis so she is on anti-anxiety meds as well as others - she is in her last year of middle school and it has been a struggle. The idea of going to school is very anxiety inducing for her and the meds don't always quell the feelings enough. We do not force her to go on hard days - that has always backfired for us. Her school understands and is patient about it. In 4th Grade we set up with the school for the Social worker to meet with her 10 minutes before the bell every morning so she could work through her anxieties before class. It worked for the most part. Now she is allowed to leave class and go to the Social worker whenever she is agitated without questions from the teachers. She can just get up and leave. Another thing she is allowed to do is take a walk whenever she needs some space. All these things we had to arrange with the school (she is a a private school so it isn't an official IEP - but basically that is what it is.), but they have helped a lot. As long as she does all her school work and is not disruptive the teachers are fine. For the most part teachers love her because when she is not anxious or agitated she is a great class participant and loves to learn.
Yes, my 12 year old son is on anti-anxiety and antidepressants that changed the whole world for him. He would refuse to get out of the car many times last year and this year is so much better.
Hello. all of the replies have been heartfelt and wonderful with some great advice. My son is now 36 years old. We first dealt with actual school refusal when he started middle school in fifth grade. We already knew that he had generalized anxiety and social anxiety but he had always managed to work through them and feel comfortable in school.
All the changes demanded of the students when they enter middle school has a lot to do with it. Changing classrooms (only 2 classrooms in fifth grade), lockers with combinations, hundreds of kids sharing the hallway and cafeteria. Overwhelming, especially if you already have challenges. However, with very understanding teachers and lots of support, my son was gradually able to attend school and socialize, but had some limits.
The school refusal re-surfaced at the beginning of seventh grade when the demands became even greater: more changing of classrooms (8 periods a day). My son did not "get used to" the situation and we tried therapy. Unfortunately we did not find a therapist with the skills necessary to deal with childhood anxiety orders. We desperately went to a psychiatrist (not a children's specialist) who immediately prescribed Zoloft. After a few weeks there was a noticeable change and my son was able to attend school and socialize.
We were very relieved. The problem was that although the medication reduced his anxiety significantly, he still had the underlying issues that were not dealt with in therapy. We never took him to a child psychiatrist or a neurologist who specializes in psychological issues. I now feel strongly that we needed to understand my son more thoroughly to best be able to help him. My son continued to have anxiety struggles through middle school and high school even with the medication. The psychiatrist changed the anti depressant from Zoloft to Paxil when he was 14. Thankfully this helped him. HOWEVER we now know that Paxil is absolutely not the right antidepressant for children and youth!!! Please keep this in mind!!
My son eventually revealed to me as a teenager that he had very intrusive OCD. I had suspected that he might have OCD even when he was much younger, but he would deny it. When he finally told me, the OCD was way more involved and monstrous than I could have known. He had been keeping this to himself, doing rituals in his head almost every minute of the day. This interfered with his ability to concentrate and put up with the stress of school although he did very well academically the first year of high school. Some very stressful social issues entered his life at the end of the first year and he just seemed to fall apart.
From that point on his grades and school attendance deteriorated. Towards the beginning of 11th grade he stopped going to school, His OCD was raging, and the antidepressants don't do much to help with OCD. He truly needed therapy that targets OCD, but he was unable to tolerate it, and being a teenager he totally refused to continue with therapy when it got tough.
I want to be helpful here, not worry anyone. We did not have a good outcome. BUT I am extremely hopeful, even confident, that there are much better resources and understanding of anxiety and OCD in children and youth today. Please take advantage of any and every opportunity for support and relevant treatment available for your child!! CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) is great and useful for anxiety. ERP (Exposure response prevention) therapy is the most effective treatment for OCD.
Please take advantage of any relevant services that the school offers. If you think your child would benefit from an IEP or a 504 plan, please push and advocate for that. Ask teachers for simple accommodations that will help reduce anxiety for your child. He may need a short break from time to time. He may also benefit from a few minutes with a compassionate adult in the middle of the day.... guidance counselor, nurse, cafeteria monitor.
As a parent, this is an exhausting situation. I know. But it's well worth it to spend time talking and LISTENING to your child. He needs you to be on his side, even though you still have to be the one to set the boundaries. If I may recommend a classic book "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. (Don't be put off by the title). Greene's approach is different from what we usually hear about parenting, but has been proven very effective with children who have mental and emotional challenges. The approach not only "solves problems" but teaches skills that will help your child throughout life.
And please seek support and understanding from others who may be going through similar things with their children!!
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