3 year old with ADHD

[KGar]

My 3 year old is struggling so much with his behavior at school. He's fine all day until nap time comes around. He refuses to nap and then gets disruptive when he's told to "lay quietly" on his nap mat. I'm expecting he will be kicked out of the school he's in now because of it. We have our second appointment with a behavioral therapist today, but our pediatrician says he's too young to be diagnosed with ADHD. It runs in our family and my husband is on medication for it. I'm going to push the issue with the therapist, but she's also hesitant to diagnose because he's only 3. I know in my heart that this is more than just "behavioral issues" and we feel so helpless. We don't know what to do anymore. He's such a funny, sweet, smart little boy, he just has no impulse control and taking things away from him does not work. We've tried everything. I can't focus at work because I'm worried about him. Please help!

[KGar]

Update: he just got kicked out of his school today.

[Onthemove1971 in reply to KGar]

Many of us have been there you are not alone. Most preschools are private so they can do that. Maybe you can look into the preschool connected to your school district. The advantage is that they may be able to start some interventions at this young age that could help him. Behavior is a form of communication, which they can't describe.

Another thing to think about is maybe he has out grown the nap and doesn't need it.

If you can get a letter from a doctor about his behavior issues then it will make starting services much easier.

Getting asked to leave day care does in no way predict his out come in life. Know it is scary. Many of us worry that because our kids have challanging behavior young they won't be successful in the future.

Please know we are always here for you with open arms. Big hug for your struggles.

Take care,

[HurricaneMom]

A diagnosis won’t really change anything and I certainly wouldn’t want my 3 year old on ADHD meds. The diagnosis becomes much more important when they reach school age for 504s and IEPs.

His behavior is fairly age-appropriate and it’s not unusual that kids that age start refusing to “lie quietly”. You need to find a preschool that will work with him and has reasonable age appropriate expectations.

[BTV65]

I remember when my son went into Kindergarten "early". All the parents met up a short time after school started. The stories at the table were all about how their kids were falling asleep during supper the first couple weeks because they were so exhausted after school. It got to me and I told them my son had to run laps around the house when he got home to burn off the excess energy he had bottled up from sitting still all day...

So I definitely hear you. My son was also disruptive in pre-school. He'd get bored with the material once he mastered it, and he did so quickly. They kept giving him more advanced material to keep him occupied. Then he'd start spending time with the "next class" up the chain. It's why he started Kindergarten early. Pre-school would have kicked him out if he had to spend another year there.

I don't think naps should be required. However, all children need to learn how to have quiet time. Books, coloring, etc... He needs to learn to occupy himself for short periods with quiet activities so the other kids can nap.

[NanalovesLo]

You know the signs and your child, so stick with your instinct and continue to push for a diagnosis, but more importantly find the treatments and environment you know will work best for your child.I did not know as much as you about ADHD, but saw the signs in early in my child. I thought his hyperactivity and the mood swings were due to respiratory steroids in his nebulizer treatments. At three years of age, I stopped the nebulizer treatments and the behaviors continued.

Through a county preschool program, we engaged a behavior therapist. I applied to Kennedy Krieger and Children's National for an evaluation (wait time then, was 6 months to a year). In the meantime, we continued behavior therapy and I read a lot.

Luckily, our preschool Director was very supportive and the behavior therapist worked with us and the teachers to put many supports in place. My child had a visual schedule for the school day, fidgets and alternative seating for circle time. For nap time if he wouldn't sleep, they would let him sit in the book nook or let him take books or a small toy to his cot. They even had a calming center set up. He eloped a lot, so they would give him a job when leaving the classroom, like carrying the teachers backpack and kept him close. I spoke to the teachers every day and we passed a journal back and forth to share information and stay on the same page with our supports and strategies. This cooperative relationship made all the difference in world.

The month my child turned four, we got the ADHD combined severe diagnosis. We continued all the behavior supports and therapy, I had in placed and now added the developmental pediatrician to the team. When we felt we hit a plateau with therapy only, we introduced medication around a few months before he turned five. I use "we", because it was a team effort between, doctors, psychologists, the school and me. My child made a lot of progress as a result. But just when you feel you have everything working, something will happen and you have to rebuild your foundation.

Unfortunately, the Director retired and there was a turnover in the teaching staff. Even though we had transition meetings to carry all the supports over, they didn't follow through. I stared observing my child's behaviors decline and the pink slips started coming. I knew this was a losing battle and I ended up pulling my child out that school and looking for another.

It was very tough and took a lot of searching and interviewing. I was very honest and forthright about my child's challenges because I did not want to set him or the school up for failure. It's not always their fault, one school after a one month trial felt terrible they couldn't provide the individual time they felt my child needed. They had to accommodate the other children and I respected their honesty. Though I will admit, I felt very defeated at times.

Then I got another curve ball, Covid hit and we ended up being home for 2 years. This brought a whole new set of challenges having to work remotely, without childcare and virtual learning through the remainder of preschool and most of kindergarten. I was also lucky my boss was very supportive. I won't sugarcoat it, it was a huge struggle at times and I felt like the worst parent and I was doing everything wrong. But progress is sometimes hard to see while you are in the middle of it. You have to find the gains each day and keep the positive outlook. God gave me strength and he put me in the position because he knew I would be successful.

As I look back it is clear to me there was a purpose. I feel my child ended up better prepared because I was able to work with him individually with all the supports I had learned. He returned to in person learning at the end of kindergarten and he did phenomenally well. My child is now in first grade and his teacher tells me he is a role model student. The school pulled his IEP because academically he is on level. He is now on a 504 plan. (that's another conversation, start working on this for school early too.)

So, don't give up hope and keep the faith. ADHD diagnoses are happening at earlier ages. But most important, find the supportive school environment who will work with you. You know your child needs better than anyone. Talk to your current school and if they aren't able to support you, then maybe you need to move on to another school. Look to the public school programs, even preschool, as they have a lot of services to support you.

Every day will bring struggles, but I took a look at that little face and reclaimed my strength to keep forging ahead. Best of luck to you and your family. You are not alone.

[510Wins]

I’m NO licensed medical expert. I’m just a Mom.

Your child seems to be having a reaction to something he’s eating or drinking or smelling. It could be : Cow Milk, or Dairy foods, artificial colors in foods or drinks, preservatives in foods or drinks, sugar, High fructose corn syrup.. or even air fresheners ... etc...

Most of these kids are having “Neurological changes in behaviors” due to consuming something their bodies CANNOT process/digest. It causes behavior changes.

No Talking too, discipline or time outs will work. Their minds are literally out of control due to being toxic. Go to YouTube and search : Red 40. A kid named “Nash”.. will show an example of what he is experiencing after consuming candy with RED 40 artificial color.

Something is getting into our kids bodies and are poisoning them which cause Toxicity. This IS what’s most likely the root cause of the bad or abnormal behaviors.

Help your child with cleaning their bodies and environment. Their brains are being slowly poisoned by all these toxic chemical these companies call food.

Good luck to all you parents.

I do speak from experience with my son. They try to tell me he had ADhD.

I just removed all the junk foods (processed foods) along with going DYE free: removed color dye from his medicines, toothpaste, shampoo, laundry soaps and fed my son Whole Foods and exercised every day.

He became normal in 1 week and in 1

Month my son was Healthy and enjoying life.

The body needs time to heal, be patient and you will see them get better!

[IheartDisney]

My son was the same way with nap time. We talked to the school about it and they let him sit on his cot with a book as long as he was quite. Talk to the new school about it. Also I agree with what someone else said and don't worry about this predicting anything.

[SurvivorFan]

Your story sounds a lot like mine so I can totally feel where you are coming from. My son is 6 now but I also could tell from the age of 2 and a half/3 that his behavior was not of other kids his age. Very impulsive, loud, hyper,etc...but also so inquisitive, smart, sweet and kind. The preschool we had him in was awful as far as understanding and support. I cried almost everyday at pick up because the feedback was ALWAYS what was wrong with my son none of the positives. I finally listened to my gut and got him out of there and into a different daycare center who's staff was amazing. Nobody had special training but they all cared about my son and were on page with us of what we could do to help him. Like others mentioned, during nap time he too could not lay down and nap so he had a "cozy corner" he could go to and read or color. My husband also has ADHD and so I was pretty sure that was what we were dealing with. We started our son on Meds at age 5 but honestly I wish I would have sought a professional sooner. There is so much misinformation out there about medications as well as people throwing their cruel opinions at you about "gasp, how could you medicate your child?" Thankfully I learned real quick to ignore their ignorance and follow my gut. YOU know your child best. There are many health care providers who have little to no training on adhd so try and find someone you know has a lot of experience in medication management and is practical.

Our son actually see's a pediatric neurologist for his medication. We started off with the pediatrician but after trying and being unsuccessful on one low dose of fast acting methylphenidate (which wore off after 2 hrs) she went straight to "he needs therapy" so we switched to the neurologist. We could not get in to see a psychiatrist in a reasonable amount of time. Fast forward to now and on the right combo he is thriving in kindergarten. Not perfect but has come leaps and bounds from where we started. The fact that you are already listening and open to what he needs is awesome. You are doing great. I won't tell you to not worry because I am the worrier queen as well

😜 BUT, you will find what works for him and things will get better!

[MommyTree]

I had the most amazing luck and turnaround in my sons behavior using the Nurtured Heart Approach. I watched the video, ordered the book and am practicing each day. It’s logical and common sense and my son who is 8 responded immediately. I’m clinging to it like a lifeline. nurturedheartinstitutelearn...