ADHD 13 year old Troubles: My son is 1... - CHADD's ADHD Pare...

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ADHD 13 year old Troubles

jessicasafford profile image
24 Replies

My son is 13 and ADHD. He is very smart and can sometimes be pretty mature. However he mostly acts like a little child. He constantly makes noises, talks excessively, and can be very exhausting at times. He has a very hard time focusing on things unless he is very interested. He looks to get a lot of attention even if it's negative attention. He isn't disrespectful or rude but intense. He is on 40 mg Adderal extended release. His teachers point out that he doesn't act like a normal 13 year old boy. He doesn't stay on task at school and needs many many reminders. I think He tries to be class clown at school because when people laugh and think he's funny he feels liked. He has been called annoying by peers also. It's heartbreaking, and I have very little patience. I try to not freak out but sometimes I end up yelling. I feel like he isn't listening to me and 8 million things are running through his head. Our insurance just changed so I'm looking into getting him a therapist since his old one doesn't take his insurance. He's not excited about starting over with someone new.

24 Replies
Aniusia profile image
Aniusia

Jessica, I think our sons are twins lol

I will copy what I wrote somewhere else

“What can I do? What school can do ? (My son is 14, adhd, 8th grade )

Last week:

-Monday he got into pushing with another student

-Tuesday I got notified that during ski trip , he put melted chocolate on someone new coat , got everybody wet with soda

- Wednesday he got kicked out from every single class for making noises, distracting others, not cooperating, not listening, being defiant

Thursday, he stayed home.

-Friday, they found vape in his locker, plus I found out that he broke into school IPad security system, downloaded an App Store etc ( he got out of school suspension for it for Monday ) , so ...

He stayed home yesterday . I called an PPT meeting .

Of course we took his phone and PS4 .

He went to school today. All positive, yo try better, in order to get his privileges back.

I just got an email saying that he threw a water bottle in the air , with s loose cap. It exploded, made everybody wet. 😞 He is clowning around, seeking attention.

I don’t know what to do, how to talk to him ... He sees a therapist once a week . He is on Guanfacine . Stimulants make him irritate and angry. He is very immature.

I have a PPT meeting next week. What else can school do ? It seems like he tries but the impulses are too strong and he always gets in trouble.

On top of it he is forgetful, never has homework’s, and he always had a good day. Yeahhh”

jessicasafford profile image
jessicasafford in reply to Aniusia

Wow. They could be best friends!

nurse_nelly profile image
nurse_nelly in reply to Aniusia

My son has adhd and anxiety but I have never had any problems with him at school /sports. Only at home with his siblings. If he was asked to do something he would hit himself in the head and say he wanted to kill himself. This went of for over 3 years- to the point we were going to admit him into a hospital. We had tried several different types of meds since he was 4 (will be 13 the 3rd of Feb). Non of which worked. A year ago he was taking 36 mg of concerta, Lamictal ( mood disorder) and Melatonin at night.

I took him off everything VERY slowly last year and by May 2018 he was off - Started him on 1 -10mg Short acting Ritalin (generic) and CBD oil. Short acting works longer for his body (Weird I know) GPA went from a 1.2 last year (6th grade) to a 3.33 this year (7th grade). Teachers cant BELIEVE the difference in him. Infact he was given and IEP in 6th grade and October of this year they said he didn't qualify anymore. He is an amazing, loving boy . Don't get me wrong he still runs around the house and makes noises at times but he is so much happier.

Decreasing his meds was the best thing we ever did. Also CBD; however you have to give that time. It took a good 4 weeks before we seen a difference with that. But he was without it for 3 weeks and we could DEFFINETLY tell....

NOT pushing CBD at all but for him it works.

Mamacro profile image
Mamacro in reply to nurse_nelly

My 13 year old son was recently diagnosed with ADHD. It was suspected a few years ago but our family doctor said he didn’t have it. He was tested several months ago for a learning disability and that’s when we were told yes he is showing signs of ADHD.

I have a few family members that have passed due to drug addiction so my son is adamant that he is not taking any drugs! I know I’m the parent but how do you force your son to take drugs that he does not want to take?

We are seeing a naturopath at the moment. Some blood tests were done to see what foods he was sensitive to. We already knew dairy makes him extremely hyper, we now know he’s sensitive to gluten and highly sensitive to egg whites. She cannot say for sure they are affecting his ADHD but there has been some research on this.

She is giving him omega 3 fish oil, probiotics, he’s going to start an all natural sleep aid and there is one more thing that I’m sorry I cannot remember the name of but it will help with anxiety (basically relax him). Where and how do you get the CBD oil to help??

Most people find him very mature for his age. He can carry on a conversation with adults better thanI can. He does have some friends but more so than not he’s left out. I cannot remember the last time he was invited anywhere or to a party.

He gets called annoying and gets in trouble at school. He feels no one likes him etc. He wanted to switch schools this year because of the teachers. It was great for the first month, but then the kids started backing away and now he feels alone.

It’s absolutely heartbreaking.

nurse_nelly profile image
nurse_nelly in reply to Mamacro

I use Emeris just google it. Its is great! expensive but great! My son use to have panic attacks before he had to give a presentation at school. Now using CBD he has overcome that and does so well with his anxiety

Epelmore profile image
Epelmore in reply to nurse_nelly

So sorry, I sent the question before reading further. I’m looking for answers also. My son is ADHD and Aspergers. Super smart and makes great grades but very annoying like a dog on a bone. He can be exhausting.

Epelmore profile image
Epelmore in reply to nurse_nelly

Where do you get your CBD oil?

Onthemove1971 profile image
Onthemove1971

Thanks for writing the group. Your description would of been written in the dictionary to define ADHD.

In my opinion, I don't think he is on the correct medication or dose. Are you working with a Child psychiatrist? They could give you feedback. I was told by our psychiatrist that medication "should" control %60 of the negative behavior if it is the right dose and kind. The other needs to be behavior modification and accommodations in school and at home.

I agree with getting him to see a counselor, this is where you can address these issues.

Best of luck.

jessicasafford profile image
jessicasafford in reply to Onthemove1971

Right?! I feel so bad sometimes. I only want what's best for him.

Ldydy24 profile image
Ldydy24 in reply to Onthemove1971

I totally agree. If he’s acting this way a change in medicine is needed. My son recently started taking Adderall XR and he’s only taking 10 ml with a 10 ml short acting dose to get in his system quicker. 40 ml of XR seems high and it’s apparent it’s not working. Get him in with a psychiatrist that specializes in ADHD.

Crunchby profile image
Crunchby

Yelling and losing your crap is perfectly understandable. They can be so frickin annoying! But, and it's the absolute hardest thing to do... You have to stay calm and be the adult. I struggle with keeping cool myself, as mine is disrespectful and angry. It's great yours is not being rude or disrespectful, just 'off'. It does sound like the meds are off or not enough. Like he needs a calming drug, I dunno. Good luck!

jessicasafford profile image
jessicasafford in reply to Crunchby

Thank you so much

spb1234 profile image
spb1234

Hey Jessica, my name is Spencer Berndt. I am 19, in college, and I have ADD. I understand that most people on this forum are adults but I’m here to help. To keep my story short.. I was diagnosed with ADD (or ADHD-primarily inattentive type) in fourth grade. I went through a lot of the same things your son did and I actually started taking Adderall in eighth grade, around your son’s age. As I got older, the rate at which I metabolized Adderall increased. Meaning I was constantly increasing doses. My junior year of high school I was taking 40mg of it and for my senior year my doctor prescribed me Vyvanse. I think your son may be in a similar situation. Adderall can only do so much and there’s a good chance your son is metabolizing it way to fast. Or it may not be metabolizing at all. Vyvanse is a very unique extended release medication in that the amphetamine salt is bound to a protein that can only be digested by an enzyme only found in the stomach for digesting. Because of this property, it lasts longer and maintains a consistent supply of amphetamine throughout the day, ie keeping you better focused. As a person who has first hand experience with ADD I seriously recommend you ask your son’s doctor about switching to Vyvanse. It may be the key to the door you and your son have been looking for, whether you know it or not. And it may be very helpful to find your son an ADD/ADHD coach. They do exist and they can be very beneficial. I am actually looking into being one myself when I get out of college.

Ps. Feel free to DM me anytime with questions or if you’re looking for advice, I will be happy to help you in any way that I can.

jessicasafford profile image
jessicasafford in reply to spb1234

Thank you so very much. I will ask his Dr about that . I appreciate you!

spb1234 profile image
spb1234 in reply to jessicasafford

Thank you for reaching out on here. It’s not just you parents that need the help, it’s your kids, and in turn to helping your kids I help you parents. I am glad that I can help and I wish you and your son the best of luck

Aniusia profile image
Aniusia in reply to jessicasafford

Every child is different . We experienced all of the symptoms I described above , while taking Vyvance. It made my son mean, snappy, sarcastic and disrespectful. He was on it for 2 weeks only and omg how it changed him for worse! I took him off a week ago , and I am slowly getting by boy back .

Janice_H profile image
Janice_H

Hello, I understand your frustration. These behaviors are very similar in most kids with ADHD. My son is 11 with ADHD and acts less mature than he should. He too makes excessive noise, talks quite a bit, is exhausting to be around and has a hard time focusing on just one thing for too long. He requires a lot of attention and has so much trouble following directions. Generally I have to tell him about 10 times to get in the shower. I am also yelling alot.

Try to see about going to a behavior therapist. The therapist will give you tips on how to improve the way you handle is inability to follow directions and how to get him to become more compliant. You might also try to switch him to a new medication since it seems like the current medication is not very effective.

jessicasafford profile image
jessicasafford in reply to Janice_H

My son was just boosted to 40 mg. He just cant slow himself down. He's constantly 1000 miles an hour. He gets so fixed on something. Like He asked me to go to the car with him 3 times in 10 min span to get something. He jjust doesnt listen or follow directions. He is a sweet young man but I get very annoyed with him and end up yelling in frustration

Barkeli01 profile image
Barkeli01

I thought I was reading something I’d wrote about My own 13 year old son!!! To the T exactly how my son is! It drives us crazy to the point we’re wondering if something else is going on other than ADHD! It’s gotten sooooo much worse in this past few months too.

jessicasafford profile image
jessicasafford

Im glad im not the only one. It's very stressful and I love my son so much. It's also hard because I have joint custody so he has 2 homes. Thankfully we all get along and are on the same page. The age is tough too huh?

It's so funny that girls react so differently, but equally as concerning. Mine just ends up calling home sobbing from the counselors office, unable to STAY in class. She is cycling so rapidly right now that I hardly know what to do. Honestly, I would get a full neurological set of testing. My daughter was originally diagnosed as bipolar. I had her tested with a pediatric psychiatrist and she also then tested for ADHD, Anxiety disorder and executive skills disorder. She is on medication for bipolar and ADHD. We are aggressively treating her rapid cycling and I'm hoping we can punch it out over the three day holiday. It's VERY common for kids with ADHD to be diagnosed with other mental health disorders and to need help with other disorders!

Ugh. This is JUST SO HARD! and so hard to watch because we love them so much. I hate to hear you all with boys have this difficulty! HUGS!

jessicasafford It is hard to try to figure out all there is when you have a child with ADHD. There is no one way fits all. However, I do believe that patience needs to be a must for all involved and learning peace. When there is a lot going on, I found my son to have a hard time focusing. Learning to structure things around his interest helped him to gain confidence and to focus. Schools rarely focus on the “on hands child” in fact most have done away with programs and I believe that is why we see more kids labeled with learning issues. I homeschooled my son until high school and by then he was able to transition and graduated with honors. I was lucky to find a school that would work with me and that had some hands-on classes as well as working with a community college that would allow high school students to attend specific classes. There are answers so don’t give up, but also, I would caution anyone to be mindful of medications. I believe they actually do more harm than good. Hang in there, don’t give up and find some good support systems. I am always available if you need to chat. Beautyoutofashes54

jessicasafford profile image
jessicasafford in reply to beautyoutofashes54

Thank you so much. I appreciate your input.

loulouAd profile image
loulouAd

Girls are different but no less concerning.

I think all the advise here is good! Medicine ect. But I also think hormones and the stage your child is entering is the "buckle up", roller coaster ride from HELL!! Every day is a different day with my child. Honestly I feel like a crazy person half the time trying to keep up with her needs every day. Its so hard to know when to advocate and when to expect more from her. For sure I would begin to monitor his sleep. Get that Disney Circle and monitor the time spent online. Take their phone at night and basically keep his world as small and as tight as you can.

Walking this crazy walk too! You are not alone.

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