5 year old ADHD struggling with reading and writing

[JG907]

My son had me in tears today sharing that reading and writing are just so hard for him, and that he doesn't want to go to school anymore. It broke my heart. He's only in kindergarten and his teacher is amazing. He's made so much progress, but he really struggles to focus on reading and writing tasks. The reading thing surprises me because he has always loved to look at books. We just got our diagnosis last month and are hoping that medication will help him be able to work through non-preferred academic tasks. Does anyone have any tips for helping him engage more in letter/sound identification and handwriting tasks?

[kdali]

OT and play therapy could help. For writing, I bought short pencils, fine motor grips, and a few workbooks from Amazon. For reading, we alternated readers, but I think learning sight words helped to lessen frustration also.

[Aspen797]

Check out the Teach Your Monster to Read app/game by the publishers of Usbourne books. It is free (the computer-based version, anyway) and actually based on the science of learning how to read. For pre-k through first. teachyourmonster.org. I rarely plug electronics for learning but this one really deserves a shout out.

[Onthemove1971]

Thank-you for joining us.. this is a journey and we are all here to support each other. Here are a few thoughts:

If your child has not been assessed for learning disabilities (Dyslexia, Dysgraphia, auditory processing, etc) it will important to do that so he can get support from a special teacher/service.

Once this has been done the school could determine if he needs a 504 plan or an educational plan (IEP- Individual Educational Plan). The goal here is to work with educational Specialist who can identify his weaknesses and help him so learning is not so challenging.

You may think about supporting him with auditory books, while he reads-looking at the print and some kids like to follow the print with his finger.

I really believe finding the correct type (stimulant and or non-stimulant) of medication, the correct dose and the medication is taken at the right time (some are short acting and some are extended release). These medications should not "change his personality", but take the negative symptoms away.

Sorry this is a lot to take in.

Really take it one step at a time. We are always here and while many of us have older kids, they were all that age a while ago and all struggled.

[JG907 in reply to Onthemove1971]

Thank you for the message. We already have the IEP in place, he was diagnosed with a speech delay at 2, so we were able to get early intervention through ILP (infant learning program). My husband went through the same process, so his mom has been great at making sure we're on track. We are waiting to see how the medication helps with his ability to focus before we start in on looking for a specific LD.

We're starting medication in the next few days. I'm a little nervous about it, and really hope it helps.

[mrl12]

My daughter struggled with reading, too. We didn't think too much of it when she was in kindergarten because all of the students were just starting to learn to read and most weren't reading independently. And then the pandemic hit in the latter part if the year, which certainly didn't help. By the time she was back in school full time in the spring of 1st grade, her reading had become a major source of anxiety and she would absolutely refuse to even try. She began having major meltdowns at school, often around reading time.

It wasn't easy to convince the school to do a learning assessment (they wanted to treat it simply as behavioral problems), but we finally won that battle at the end of 1st grade and she received a battery of assessments and evaluations over that summer. Her reading scores were in the single digit percentiles with strong indications of dyslexia. We researched accommodations and hired an advocate who recommended the school provide Wilson sensory reading instruction, taught by a certified Wilson reading specialist in pull-out sessions for 30 minutes per day, 5 days per week. After some negotiation, the school agreed and it was included (along with a ton of other supports, including a screen reader to help her in other subjects) in her IEP.

She is now in 4th grade and has recently graduated out of the Wilson program. She is finally at the same academic level as her peers and is so proud of herself (and so am I!) She even wants to be a writer when she grows up.

I hope this story helps ease your worries a bit. Big and wonderful changes are possible! But it takes a knowledgeable support team to make it happen, and sometimes you really have to advocate hard for your child and do a lot of research and learning on your own so you can make recommendations.

My daughter has also been on the Daytrana methylphenidate patch since the end of 1st grade, which has helped with her focus throughout all of this.

Kindergarten is still young. Kids learn at different paces so if your child is not reading well right now, it might just be that his pace is slower, but that might not always be the case. Try not to worry too much yet (kids often are very attuned to our own anxieties.) But keep your eye on it and and stay in touch with his teachers. Share your concerns with them and be ready to request intervention if he's falling further behind his peers or refusing to practice.

I also second your monster to read, but more to make words and letters fun than to teach reading (it did not help either of my kids on that department, but they enjoyed playing.) Also books on YouTube can be another good way to bring the joy of reading to your child without the pressure of it.

Wishing you and your son all the best. I know this can all be very hard to go through.

[DoodleDoo2023]

Our son began having problems with reading and writing in kindergarten, as well. He would cry when asked to read letters. We didn’t know why at the time but he was later diagnosed with ADHD, as well as dyslexia and dysgraphia. These are learning disabilities that make it difficult to read and write. We have learned that these learning disabilities go hand in hand with ADHD much of the time. He has had an IEP and specially designed instruction (SDI) for reading, writing and math at school now for the past two years. The reading curriculum is designed for learners with dyslexia and he gets pulled out for one on one support in these areas every day at school. His teachers also make accommodations for assignments, such as spelling, book reports, etc. based on his needs and abilities so that he can feel successful as much as possible. We just try to meet him where he’s at and support him as best as we can but it’s not easy. You are not alone.

[Rosem123]

Came here to say the same as others about dyslexia and learning disorders. It’s more common in kids with ADHD and often goes undiagnosed for too long. Kindergarten is not too young to do a screening and get interventions. I had to push the school hard to get an IEP but it was life changing for my son. Don’t wait — push to get him tested. And get the book: Overcoming Dyslexia by Dr Sally Shaywitz

[Cyclone10]

I also second Teach Your Monster to Read! If you keep an eye out, they offer all the apps for free at certain times. I was able to get all of their apps (numbers too!) that way. As someone else mentioned, the website might be free to use as well.

My kids didn’t love BOB books but here’s what did work for us. When I looked them up on Amazon, I see I bought them two years ago next month, when my son was also in kindergarten:

amazon.com/dp/0545067650?la...

Your local library may have them as well.

Once those became easy, we got a bunch of stage 1 Step Into Reading books. That was fun because you can pick out specific books that might interest your child. But make sure to look at each one to make sure they aren’t too difficult.

In first grade, when reading assessments really began, he was always close to needing reading help, but scraped by until the third quarter when he finally ended up just barely within the range of needing help. I was actually excited because it was then that he got more focused one on one help with reading and he took off from there.

Today, he is in second grade and doing very well with his reading. I just really try with all three of my kids to make reading fun! You said he enjoys looking at books so keep reading to him too.

I wouldn’t be too worried yet in kindergarten, I would just keep my eye on things and do what you can to foster his love of books! Also, not everyone who has ADHD have additional learning disabilities like dyslexia. You’ve just started medication and it may take a bit to get things right.

First grade is where it will get more real. If he does end up needing reading help, embrace it! Kids get pulled out of the classroom for all kinds of things and it’s no big deal. It may be just the boost he needs.

I didn’t really address the writing part in my comment but my son also needed writing grips for a while but eventually got it the hang of it. Now he can write well…when he wants to!

Best wishes!

[Fish1fish]

Reading was a major source of tension between us and our daughter as well. One trick I figured out was to read the Elephant and Piggy books with her, which I credit with getting her to at least budge from her stance of not wanting to read. I asked her which character she wanted to read and I read the other one. She always picked the pig, so I knew I could sometimes offer to read the elephant part up front, using that to cajole her into reading.

With all that said, fear not! He is still young and may just be buckling under adversity, trying to do something you aren't good at is hard, and he may not have experienced much of that yet. With our daughter it wasn't until mid first grade before we saw any progress on the reading front. She is in 5th grade now, and while she is not interrested in reading for fun, I feel she is at a level where she can take part in school without reading being the big elephant in the room.

Otherwise like everyone else has suggested, get him tested for dyslexia and whatnot. Reading your post that was the first thing that popped into my head as well.

[WYMom in reply to Fish1fish]

We love the elephant books too. Text is large which helped us immensely.

[WYMom]

We found out our daughter had a cataract in kindergarten. Reading and writing are still a massive struggle for her, and ADHD doesn't help. Honestly, I just don't put pressure on her for grades. My goal is to get them through school with their self esteem intact. So when she complains about reading assignments I just tell her I understand and she should just do her best. Then she brags about math, which she's great at, and we move on. It helps we are in a small country school and no one shamed her there.

[MomofADHDBoy6]

I have the same story as a lot of other parents here. My son has both ADHD and Dyslexia. It is pretty common to have both. He really struggled with learning his letters and with writing, and basically couldn't do it at all through preschool. I had been unsuccessful in helping him learn and it was so frustrating and made me feel so sad for him. What helped us is finding him a specialized tutor for Dyslexia. Maybe first have him assessed. But if he does have it, the tutoring really helped. Dyslexia kids learn differently than other kids, using all of their senses in order to retain the information. But he went from not knowing his alphabet to getting 100% on his spelling tests every week, reading, and most of all feeling confident in his ability to learn.

[Mommywarrior4LC]

does your hold have an IEP? Maybe the school can evaluate his needs and provide him the extra help he needs. Unfortunately I know how you feel. My son is 5 and he’s even said he doesn’t like himself because he just can’t listen at school. I wish I could be there to see how everyone talks to him at school. I’m trying to be more aware of his feelings. I’ve been told kids with ADHD tend to have low self esteem. My son just started meds and currently started on Ritalin extended release since the adderall had too many side effects.

[Mamamichl]

I’m guessing you’re probably in kindergarten or first grade? My kid struggled with reading at that age. She’s 9 now, and transitioning from picture books to chapter books was like pulling teeth! We have been able to turn to audiobooks and not stress it at home. Maybe try the epic app if you can afford it. It turns reading into read along and, in some cases, animation. Keep reading to your kid so they can comprehend, even if deciphering is difficult right now. If they see the cool part of reading (the story), they will have more interest in trying to figure out the deciphering part. She started to come around by he end of second grade. If it’s pst that age, ask for a dyslexia evaluation at the school.