Anger and adhd: My 8 year old becomes... - CHADD's ADHD Pare...

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Anger and adhd

Imogen33 profile image

My 8 year old becomes angry and aggressive when she doesn’t get what she wants. I really don’t know how to handle this type of behaviour. I know me getting angry doesn’t help but I don’t know what could help?

8 Replies

Perhaps it is time for a medication change? The long acting stimulants like Concerta work well for impulsiveness and aggression. Good luck to you

My son does the same thing. He can be over-the-top dramatic about things that I think shouldn't be a big deal. I've found that if I keep a level head and do not respond in anger to what he is saying, he usually gets over it pretty quickly and gets back on track. I stick to what I'm talking about but I try to do nothing to escalate the situation by responding to the hurtful things he says sometimes. I've read that ADHD manifests as speaking without thinking, so I try to keep this in mind. Also, keep track of information like is she more irritable at certain times of the day. Sometimes kids experience med crash which make them really on edge.

Besides medication, do some reading. Ross Greene's book The Explosive Child (and accessing his webpage and its information) may be helpful.

I agree! Ross Green and Nurtured Heart Approach, Pax tools, and so many helpful options. But keep in mind, no matter what you use and how well you handle, sometimes you just have to wait it out until they mature. Meditation and lots of listen to ADD podcast help me to remind calm.

It helps me to remember that most children have angry and aggressive thoughts when they don't get what they want. Actually, so do adults! Children with ADHD just don't inhibit what they say very well. We use "think before you say or do" as a mantra and hope, along with his medicine, it will help my son continue to learn to control his words and actions better. In the mean time, we try to help him see what is effective in getting what he wants, and what doesn't work.

I'm right there with you. My 6-year-old's anger has become explosive and harmful, and I am feeling so lost.

Welcome! Just curious what tools you are giving your child to help them deal with the symptoms of ADHD?The 3 main tools are: an educational plan ( many struggle with other learning challenges and some don't like school at all), Thearpy ( I have always been in sessions with our son to bring up issues we are struggling with and medication (this one makes the others much easier.

It will also be important to learn how to decrease the agression, like punish forward. If our son doesn't get off when his time is up. There is none tomorrow and so on.

We are here to help, you can search old posts to help.

See Pax Tools for parents on You Tube. These tools are what I call the "bells and whistles" that go along with Pax Good Behavior Game for elementary school teachers. Each one has been researched, tested and refined. Dr. Dennis Embry combed through the behavior world finding things that worked and reducing them to their smallest components that can't be misused or misunderstood. In 1999 at the Columbine Shooting Conference he met a Johns Hopkins professor Shep Kellum, who had used GBG in a study of Baltimore first graders in 1984 and followed the kids for 15 years1. GBG was a brain changer and Embry improved it. These tools will make your life better and help improve your kids’ behaviors, but the GBG part actually changes the structure of the prefrontal cortex where decision making and self-control are developed. GBG actually exercises the brain in self-control by getting kids excited in class by winning team contests in which the prize is a physical activity e.g jumping jacks, and then having them get back to work. Done several times a day, the kids develop their own control instead of a teacher having to tell them to sit down. Their ability to self-control then has tremendous effects on behavior all through their lives.

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1NIDA Notes. “Behavior Game Played in Primary Grades Reduces Later Drug-Related Problems.” Volume 23, Number 1, April 2010. National Institute on Drug Abuse. Also reduced classifications including ADHD.

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