Am I alone (ADHD and anger )

[Luluisaac15]

Is anger that common in children with adhd? I feel like everyday, is a bad day in my household. My 7 year old is always so angry! He is disrespectful, and it barely takes anything, if anything, for him to get angry! FYI he does not act this way at school. #emotionallydrained

[Pennywink]

I’m sorry to hear that - it can be rough!

Before my son was on stimulant medication, he could get very disrespectful. Making accommodations at home (visual aids, behavior charts, analog timers, etc), helped a bit, as he wasn’t so frustrated by his executive functioning issues. But now that he is in stimulants, that has gotten ALOT better for us, even after the medication wears off.

Some kids on medication can have emotional / anger issues as well. My son has some while he was on non-stimulants. With stimulants, moodiness is more likely to happen in the evening when the medication wears off (though thankfully my son gets more sentimental than angry.)

[Hidden]

You are NOT alone. This is a lot to deal with, even on a "good" day! We are the same as rckline, the stimulant medications have really helped my daughter and I. I also feel like with the medication she is calmed down so we can really figure out what is going on with her instead of her being disrespectful and me just reacting to the situation. Family counseling has been a lifesaver.

You're in the right place!

[Hidden]

My son is an angel at school but at home is the safe place where he ends up melting down. My son is on a mood stabilizer which helps with his aggression. You are not alone hugs mama

[jennifer425]

My son has alot of behavioral issues at school and at home idk what to do anymore, his on focalin xr 10 mgs and we just started with a therapist but i think he needs more of behavioral teraphy .

[Onthemove1971 in reply to jennifer425]

It sounds like his medication is not right, I am not doctor, but maybe the amount or timing. Good luck

[Testarossa1975]

This is very common with ADHD. I would recommend searching google for ADHD and emotional dysregulation. This is not included in the current diagnostic criteria, but prior to the 1970s it was recognized as a part of what we now call ADHD. You might also search for Dr. Russell Barkley and emotional regulation or dysregulation. He has videos on youtube which are very helpful for understanding all sorts of things about ADHD. Dr. Barkley is one of the leading clinical researchers on ADHD.

I would also recommend talking with your child's pediatrician or psychiatrist if you have one. My 11 year old son throws a screaming-on-the-floor kind of tantrum when something does not go his way or as expected. These have gotten much better over the years, but they still happen. I think as I have learned to walk away, act like I am indifferent toward the tantrum, and stay calm, the length and severity of the tantrums have decreased. Yesterday, I did address my son's emotional dysregulation with his pediatrician. She said there are two 24 hour lasting medications that can help: clonodine and guanfacine. You might consider looking into that . We're going to try clonodine.

Regarding therapy, I have read that research points to parent training (learning techniques specific to the unique challenges of ADHD) as the most effective. Family counseling or individual counseling for you will help in terms of coping support. Unfortunately, behavioral therapy, from what I understand, has not been shown to be effective until the late teen years when the child is able to use the things he/she knows. (Part of the problem with ADHD is a difficulty of doing what you know.) My son was disrespectful and I had thought I must be a really bad parent because he was not learning. After we started stimulant medication during the day, I noticed that he had been learning after all but he was just not able to calm himself, focus and do what he had been taught. After school and evenings can still be challenging.

For a book that covers parent training, I would recommend Russ Barkley's book Taking Charge of ADHD. He has a Taking Charge of Adult ADHD, so make sure you don't get that one for the help with your child.

[Luluisaac15 in reply to Testarossa1975]

Thank you so much for sharing! Our doctor shared the same in regards to behavioral therapy, and I believe it! We also tried Intuniv, but he was “zombie like”. He did start play therapy last week, to address his anxiety, work on social skills, and coping skills for his anger. I’m hoping this will work. I know it takes time, so in the meantime I will keep trying various strategies, possibly parent coaching as well.

[Testarossa1975 in reply to Luluisaac15]

Play therapy could definitely help those issues. I did have one more thought. I don't recall if you said your son had tried or is taking a stimulant, but sometimes problems such has anger or anxiety can be exacerbated by a particular stimulant. My 6 year old nephew who has ADHD was taking 20 mg of Adderall (amphetamine) and began having significant problems with anger. When he was switched to 20 mg of Focalin (methylphenidate), there was a remarkable and immediate decrease in his apparent frustration and anger, and he appears much more calm, but not zombie like. The change was a huge help that allowed him to continue to benefit from medication treatment without significant anger issues. I don't know if you're considering stimulants at this time, but I just wanted to share this in case it might be helpful now or in the future.

Best wishes to you and your family!

[Cjkchamp]

You are not alone. My sons anger at home is usually geared toward me. As he has gotten older a little more is showing toward his father. He is having a lot of issues at school and now they are sending him to another school where they have a self contained classroom. He was on Focalin and Guanfacine. Every time we went to dr they just raised the Guanfacine until he was on the max 4mg dose. It just sedated him and didn’t curb the anger. They said maybe he has mood dysregulation. Maybe he is depressed. We can try Prozac. We can try a mood stabilizer. He is 7; just turned 7, and I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Then dr said we can try broad spectrum micronutrients. He has been on them since February. When they raised him to a half dose all of a sudden things changed. He has been better at home. Not quick to get set off like before. He hasn’t gone to the reset room at school for the two weeks he has been on the half dose. We are going to stick with it. I encourage everyone to look into them! I wish I would have known about them sooner. If I have to go Prozac in the future then I will deal with it when it comes.

[Luluisaac15 in reply to Cjkchamp]

Thank you for your reply! I recently started reading about micro nutrients, and will bring it up at our next appointment.

Doctor previously mentioned a mood stabilizer , but I, like you, do not want to do it, my son is only 7 years old. Plus I want him to learn the coping skills necessary to deal with his anger. I know this won’t happen overnight, but I rather go that route. We also tried 1mg Intuniv. He was very different , “zombie like”. Doctor assured me it would take time, but I could not stand seeing him that way.

[Cjkchamp in reply to Luluisaac15]

Try the micronutrients! I have done parent aid, counseling, occupational therapy, counseling again, neurologist, neuropsychological, psychiatrist, psychologist, and counseling again. I’ve tried four different meds and lots of supplements. These micronutrients are the first time I have seen a real change. We are using Hardy Nutritionals. True Hope was also recommended. Hardy has a double blind study with ADHD kids so I went with that one.

[Luluisaac15 in reply to Cjkchamp]

Also, could you share what micronutrients your son is taking? Thank you

[Hidden]

Sounds a lot like my 7 yr old. What I suspect is anxiety keeps him well-behaved at school, but at home he knows he's safe and lets out everything he's kept in all day. Those angry outbursts can be quite challenging. Do you have a place he can run around, play, let off some energy after school? That seems to help with my son.