Hi! My son is 9 and has ADHD. He is a very nice, smart and kind kid but also is very defiant and oppositional. Has anyone had a child’s anger increase with Medadate(methylphenidate)?
Any suggestions that have been successful in getting rid of some of the defiance?? Ie: name calling, arguing, slamming doors, throwing things, not taking no for an answer etc…
My son has ODD with his adhd and does the same stuff. Meds aren't as big of a role for odd but definitely behavior therapy has been helpful. Mood disorders and other things like anxiety run hand in hand with adhd.. maybe your kiddo would benefit from OT, behavior therapy etc. The anger is a tough one to manage and my son is only 7. Reward vs punishment helps too.
Thanks…who does behavior therapy? We have been to two different and they basically have said he is “done” after seeing him fir a short time. I have an appointment with a psychologist but it’s not until the end of July…Also, what would OT offer that you know of?
My son just turned 4 and was officially diagnosed with ADHD; he also has sensory processing difficulties. He started receiving OT through his IEP recently and they do a lot of heavy work with him because he's a kid that needs more sensory input than a typical kid. Which is part of the reason he's constantly jumping, climbing, running into things, being extra loud with stuff, etc. He needed a break at school the other day and pulled his teacher down the hall in a wagon for a few minutes. 😂 OT also helps reinforce the self-regulation and coping skills that we try to teach our kids so it can be very helpful for kids with ADHD. I'm a school social worker on the special education team at a primary school and continue to be amazed at everything OT does besides fine motor skills. It's worth looking into!
I don't have an answer but have similar issues with my 9 year old girl. She gets very angry and throws things, slams doors, says hateful things etc. We've tried mindfulness videos, etc but it still happens. So following if anyone has luck with other things.
I hear you- this can be so hard. I would say definitely medication if you haven't considered it...also counseling if some kind for your child as well as you. Make sure you have the correct diagnosis...there could be something else playing a part whether it's anxiety, depression or otherwise. I say this because our son was diagnosed with ADHD then reevaluated and we learned he has ASD level 1, as well as anxiety. So- now we feel we can make sense of some of his behaviors a bit more and help him more appropriately. There might be more than one thing going on, contributing to these huge reactions you are seeing. Not for certain- just saying that was true for us. Also we use a positive reinforcement system at home, linked to rewards. He gets cotton balls for positive behaviors. At the end of the day we count them up and keep a tally. At the end of the month we add it all up and presto he gets a reward. We also have short term rewards built in like screen time each day, because waiting to the end of the month for reward was too long for this kid. So this keeps him focused on doing those positive behaviors linked with a reward. It actually helps a lot. Not 100%. Nothing works 100%. But all these approaches help together... good luck to you. I know how hard it can be.
Thanks 
Great ideas…we do some reward stuff too…
I’m pretty sure he has anxiety as well but not diagnosed. I’m thinking we should see a psychiatrist instead of his pediatrician to get more help with diagnosis ect. Good luck to you as well! It’s nice to have support!
If the behaviour is increasing with the meds, he might be on the wrong med, or he might be misdiagnosed.
As for emotion management with adhd (since it's all emotions that are poorly regulated) spend part of your effort building coping skills for him, while also recognizing that if they're anything like my son, he knows what to do; he just can't do it in the moment.
So while it's important to build skills, try to find healthier ways for him to express his emotions (creative outlets like music, dance or art can sometimes work)
Exercise is important as well. Exercise helps with mood, emotion regulation and sleep. Just don't have the exercise within an hour of bedtime if you can help it.
You can also help him practice breathing and relaxation exercises as part of his regular routine... I've had panic attacks since I was about 7yo, and breathing/relaxation when I'm having an attack is like trying to stop a tsunami with a damp sponge. Where insane results is when I made mindfulness and relaxation embedded in my routine... It lowered the baseline intensity of the emotions (making the extremes a bit less intense and frequent) while also making it a well honed skill that is familiar and comfortable.
With my son I've also learned that often any attempt to intervene can result in escalation, while letting him be angry or tearful or whatever for a minute or five can give him time to get it out of his system and start to self regulate.
One thing I've read in the literature; don't give him something to hit when he's angry (e.g. a pillow) as this can teach him on some level that an appropriate response to anger can be hitting. Stress balls are good, as is something like a basketball...
With practice, my son is beginning to recognize signs that his emotions are rising, and he's been doing a good job of voicing it and talking about it before the switch flips and his emotions are too intense to engage in dialogue.
Wow, great stuff. Thanks and I will try them!! Take care
I agree with the posts above. Try therapy and check if those are the correct meds if they increased his anger.
My adhd kiddo has a gery outbursts. He has since he was three. It used to be extreme, trying to scratch/bite/kick/choke me and just full out losing it. He is 7 now and still has out bursts, but they are less extreme.
Remember that adhd comes with a lack emotional regulation abilities. It also takes longer for adhd kiddo to learn what to do when those emotions hit.
For my son a lot of repetitive lessons and consistency were huge!
When he would start to show an wmotion I would point out what I noticed, "I am noticing your body is showing frustration/anger/annoyance. Would you like to do some breathing together or go to your reset zone?"
If I didn't catch it in time, his often happened because he would explode quickly, then I had to wait him out. The only priority was safety. I would say," you are safe and I am here if you need". Then I would move out of his reach, not look at him, not talk to him. When he was littler he would flop on the floor, scream, throw things, and most of the time then turn and try to attack me. I would then say "this is not safe. I can not let you hurt yourself or me." when he was small enough I would safety hold (a hospital or therapist/doc can teach you this) him and take him to his room, closing the door until he calmed enough to be safe. There was nothing but his bed and a basket of clothes in his room (so he could not get hurt). When he was too big to do this, then I would say the same thing, but remove myself to a separate room and close the door. There were times I had to lock the door to keep us safe. And other times I had to hold his door closed. I would not recommend any of this without guidance from a professional.
Now he will start to show anger and I say what I notice... He growls, maybe throws what he is holding to the floor, then goes to the reset zone on his own!
He has calming tools in that area and when there no one is to talk to him. It is a safe calm place to reset emotions.
I have used it to model a lot. I might show frustration after I drop something and go to the space for a bit, saying out loud "I am mad and need to reset!"
When he is done in the reset zone we talk about what happened... "I noticed you felt X when X happened. I am proud of you for using the reset zone! Would you like to talk to me about what happened or go do X?"
It has been a long road but is really amazing to see now and each time he does it on his own I am so grateful for all the work.
On the wall
Great stuff…appreciate the ideas…we will try them out! This is all a lot of work!!!!! ADHD is definitely challenging!!
Yes it is!I have adhd too and being on meds has made it easier for me, but oh man it is a lot.
My 11 year old boy has ADHD and anger issues. He has been helped with Methylphenidate and Sertraline for anxiety. He still has anger issues and just generally unable to control his emotions but not as terrible as it was before medication. We tried behavorial therapy/OT for about 5 months but it didn't do much for him. Right now I'm looking into doing a brain scan but they are expensive. Is tough to navigate how to handle it. But definitely working with a psychologists has helped. Ours has recommended to find a different OT office to see if we have better success. Good luck!
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