Relocation to USA? Is this the right move?

[ramschetna]

I have been thinking of relocating to USA to support my son better with his ADHD condition/treatment etc. Any suggestion if California is the the right state to move? I want my son to feel that he is part of the society and be accepted like any other kids. Does anyone know if schools have kids with similar conditions and have enough trained staff to take care of such kids. If not California which other state has good quality system for kids with ADHD condition.

[Aloysia]

I live in CA and have 2 kids w/ ADHD.

It would help if you explained the problems you are experiencing currently.

I don't think teachers anywhere in the public US school system are specifically trained to help kids with ADHD (or learning disabilities, or autism, or anxiety, etc.). If your child has a diagnosis, you can take the letter to the public school and they are required to provide a 504 plan for your child. Every year, you will need to revise the 504 plan. You will have to advocate for your child. Sometimes the school or teacher will be challenging to work with. Most times they are ok. Occasionally you'll get a fantastic teacher who can identify exactly what your child needs that year and will be happy to provide it. But you have to know your legal rights and be willing to fight for them if necessary.

My son was diagnosed with ADHD (hyperactive/impulsive only type) in Kindergarten, but I did not put a 504 plan in place for him until the middle of 2nd grade. I did talk to each of his teachers at the beginning of the school year. And he had fantastic teachers those years. The principal at the time felt that all his teachers should be able to handle kids with ADHD regardless of whether they had a diagnosis or not.

We were pretty sure my daughter had ADHD (inattentive only type) in Kindergarten, but weren't able to get her diagnosed until 4th grade (a month ago). I'll be meeting with the principal and teacher next week to update her 504 plan to include accommodations for ADHD. Her prior 504 plan included accommodations for dyslexia and dysgraphia.

In Elementary school (K-5) it's much easier to ensure the teacher follows the 504 plan. However once your child is in middle school (6-8) and high school (9-12) it is much harder. The kids start having 4-8 teachers a day and it's hard to get a teacher to comply with everything when they have so many kids they see each day. My son will be moving to middle school next year, so I have not dealt with this personally yet. But I have heard from many other parents that you have to spend a lot of time staying in contact with the teachers.

You should also be aware that every school and every school district will be different. You should look at the ratings for each school and school district before moving there. I also recommend that you contact the parent club or PTA at the schools in your final list to actually talk to some parents first. Email the president of that organization and ask for general info about the school, but also ask to talk to a few parents of ADHD kids with 504 plans so you can ask them about their experiences.

If your child also has learning disabilities, that is a different issue. Please let me know if that's the situation.

Regarding treatment, what are you referring to? If you're referring to medication, that is something for your child's psychiatrist to prescribe. Medication can support your child and help reduce symptoms while your child matures. But it isn't a magical fix. Some adults with ADHD still find that they need medication to function well.

My son (5th grade) is not on medication. We tried a few for him in 2nd grade but he had so many side effects that we took him off it again. His academic progress was never an issue, just social skills. But we may need to try again in middle school when the organization skills needed increase drastically.

We just started medication for my daughter (4th grade). It's likely that we will need to try several before we find the right one. If school were in person, we might not have started her on medication. But with distance learning she is having a super hard time focusing so we decided that we needed to try it.

Some (mostly) free resources I have used a lot:

- ImpactParents.com

- ADDitudemag.com

You also asked if your child would be accepted and treated just like any other child. There will always be other parents who judge you and your child. There is no way to escape that. There will also be some teachers like that too. I think it really depends on your child's age and how bad things are. If the severity is medium or mild, then it's much easier. If the severity is very high (physical attacks, verbal attacks, etc), then it is much harder to find acceptance anywhere.

I've heard of some private schools that are specific to kids with ADHD and other issues. But they are expensive and not close to me.

I hope this helps. If not, please write back with more questions...

[Laylamac8 in reply to Aloysia]

Your son should qualify for a 504 plan in any public school in CA which can help provide certain school accommodations (i.e. additional time for tests, movement breaks, fidgets etc). He may also qualify for school based (as well as private insurance based) occupational therapy services that can help with ADHD. I am a home-based occupational therapist in Los Angeles and have taken a specific training course for ADHD that focus on sensory strategies and warm up exercises that help activate certain parts of the brain to improve attention. Unfortunately I don't believe many teachers are specifically trained, however, public schools have occupational therapists that can provide teachers with strategies. You son should qualify for a 504 plan or something similar in all states but certain school districts are better than others. It might be helpful to also find a private insurance based OT trained in sensory integration or ADHD for in-home or clinic-based occupational therapy services regardless of where you decide to move. Hope this helps!

[ramschetna in reply to Aloysia]

Thank you Aloysia. Currently I live in a country where ADHD, autism is a big taboo. My son is 9 years old but has never been to school as all schools refuse to take his admission. 95% of the school do not have trained staff (not even one teacher). My son has never been to school so far and he missed he is missing his childhood. I thought my son can qualify for IEP since he has epilepsy with ADHD? Do you know if that's true? When I say treatment, what I meant was he being treated equally in society and not isolated which happens here almost all the time. Any idea which part of California has good set up for such kids. Do you know if you have good therapists in this state and how expensive they are? I will be needing behaviour and occupational therapies for him. Does schools offer these therapies?

[Aspen797 in reply to ramschetna]

It might be helpful if you scheduled an evaluation with a US based developmental pediatrician or neuropsychiatrist at a hospital with a well established ADHD and autism program. The insights they can offer as to your son’s needs and treatment options would help guide you in choosing the right setting for your son. Given the pandemic, some may even conduct virtual appointments, though that may be less comprehensive. The Mind Institute at UC Davis in California and Boston Children's Hospital in Massachusetts are two possibilities, although there are more.

This article explains more about the differences between a 504 plan and an IEP: understood.org/en/school-le.... In terms of qualifying for an IEP, once a qualifying diagnosis is made by the school (ADHD and/or autism qualify) the next issue is whether a child requires specialized education in order to access the general education curriculum. If a child’s behavior (socially or emotionally) or understanding negatively impacts in class learning, they will likely qualify.

As another poster noted, although we are blessed with laws protecting our children’s rights to an education, it often requires a lot of advocacy and knowing your child’s rights yourself. There are many organizations set up to help with this, but some communities have stronger ones then others.

Have you looked into Virtual therapies in the meantime?

[Aloysia in reply to ramschetna]

Thanks for explaining more. I'm sorry you're having to go through this.

Have you been teaching him academics at home? If so, is he performing at a 4th grade level? You could look up the CA standards per grade online.

IEP stands for Individual Educational Plan. These plans are much harder to get than a 504 plan. Your child will have to be evaluated by the school for learning issues (disabilities or just super behind his grade level). And you will have to submit a letter to the school expressing how you feel your child is behind academically. A 504 plan just requires a diagnosis of some kind (ADHD, autism, learning disabilities, anxiety, etc ). A 504 plan would include accommodations for your child in the classroom that are specific to your child. This might be: allowing fidget toys, reduced homework, extra reminders to turn in homework, check-ins with your child to ensure they heard the material, seating on outer circle so he can be wiggly without distracting other kids, seating closer to teacher so she can check-in with him more, etc). An IEP may include accommodations like above, but would also have a plan for improving your child academically. This might mean they are pulled out of the classroom 1-5 times a week to work with specialists on reading or math. In extreme cases it might include an Occupational therapist. However in most cases in CA at least, your child would need to test in the bottom 10% of his class to receive an IEP. In an ideal world, the school districts are supposed to provide IEP services to any child that is performing below their capacity. But in reality, the schools don't have the money, so they fight hard against it. You could always get a lawyer and try to force the issue. But be prepared to battle every year.

My daughter has dyslexia and dysgraphia - discovered in 2nd grade after I insisted that she be tested. She was performing a little below the middle of the class despite showing a high IQ. In particular her handwriting was in the bottom 3 of the class. However her overall ability to write a paragraph was still a little below the middle of her class. So they said she did not qualify for services. Keep in mind that my daughter struggles to even be able to be at the level she's at and that it takes her at least 3 times as long as her peers to do homework. I have to sit with her the entire time. She feels that she is different from her peers and has developed anxiety about that. Outside of school, we found an Occupational therapist and paid out-of-pocket (neither the school nor our health insurance covers it). She made huge strides in her handwriting - at least until we had to stop in March due to Covid. We've been on a waiting list for 2 different Educational therapists for 18 months. One of them finally has an opening next month. Again, we will be paying out-of-pocket for this.

A diagnosis of Epilepsy is a medical condition that doesn't typically impact academics or social skills. I don't think that would qualify him for even a 504 plan. But definitely not an IEP. The school would of course need medical forms on file for him. Like what medication he's on and what they should do if he has an episode. Unless he normally has episodes during the school day? In that case, he might need an aide or if it's really bad he might be placed in special day class. This is an area that I am really not familiar with.

ADHD automatically qualifies him for a 504 plan. If you feel he's behind academically, then you'd formally ask the school to test him to see if he qualifies for an IEP. ADHD can cause a child to be behind academically, but it's certainly not a given.

Typically Elementary schools in CA have a part time counselor (shared with other schools). You can request that the counselor meet with your child to help them with social skills, anxiety, transitioning to a new country/school, etc. Sometimes the counselor might hold a social skills group with other kids. This is free, but the counselor has limited time.

If your child qualifies for an IEP and the school feels your child needs Occupational therapy, that would be free, but limited in time. My understanding is that the school would not provide behavioral therapy since that is not directly related to academics.

Costs for therapists vary greatly based on the type of therapy and the area you live in. Some health insurance will cover some of it and others won't.

My health insurance will not pay for Occupational therapy or Educational therapy. But does provide traditional counseling and even social skills groups.

For Occupational therapy, we paid $130 for 50 minutes and she wanted to see my daughter once a week. For Educational Therapy, we will be paying $110 for 50 minutes and she wants to see my daughter twice a week. I think this is very pricey, but these therapists are truly experts and this is an investment in my child's life. I live in the SF Bay Area, in the East Bay. I will also say that there do not seem to be enough of these type of expert therapists.

If you're going to move, I encourage you to do it sooner rather than later so that he can be in 5th grade here. This would give him a year to get used to living here and being in school before the big jump to Middle school.

I know that there are also ADHD mentors that you can hire remotely. This might be something to look into and start now since they could establish a relationship and help your child transition to school and to a new country.

It would be helpful if you shared more about your son. Especially in terms of behavior, academics, and how his Epilepsy presents. Right now I feel like we're all guessing a lot and that makes it difficult to give advice.