I'm a single mother raising a 12 y.o. boy with ADHD and learning delay. For the past 3 weeks I have had to work from home 8 hours and assume the role of teacher of 5 subjects. My days have been frustrating, exhausting, overwhelming and quite depressing. It has been hard to cope with being isolated with no adult interaction, having to stay indoors and have absolutely no free time because of all the responsibilities. I am not doing well with managing the school work load, household chores, self care or organizing something fun for my child. I am not able to complete my real work because my son requires 1:1 support with school tasks. The teachers are piling the work on. Only one teacher has been involved in virtual learning. The other 4 are merely posting things to read with questions to answer. My son needs a lot of self direction in terms of what to do during the day. I have created a schedule but it seems to go off track each day. I'm not sure what the hell I am doing or how to get back to feeling normal. Please help!
Brink of Breakdown: I'm a single mother... - CHADD's ADHD Pare...
Brink of Breakdown
First off.. you are so not alone. Many of us are feeling the same way and are struggling. One thing that has really helped me is that I try to just look at and manage today... then tomorrow manage that day. Take it 1 day at a time ...
I have my son who is 13 yrs. in 8th grade go over his Google classroom ( whatever assignments) everyday so I can look at what is due. This then shapes what the rest of the day looks like. If he has only a few assignment I have him attempt them in the AM.. then check in a finish what is not done in the PM. He is then required to some chore, usually empty dishwasher. Then exercise usually outside in the backyard. That bring us to lunch. I am in meetings and working most of the AM.
Then the afternoon, especially when his medication wears off I have to be more hands on. As far as assignments, do you have a 504 plan to help with turning things in with extended time?
We also in the afternoon get outside for a bike ride if I can or a walk.
I try to not allow any tv or electronics until all academic work is completed that way he can really have some time to play and I am not having him always go to him yelling.
Just know this is short term and it will all get better. If you can try to do something for yourself, maybe a hot bath or bake something that is yummy.
Big hugs for all your frustration!
Take care
I do the same thing for my seven year old son. I've been pulling my hair out with all this homeschooling! And while maybe not everyone may agree on this, prayer or just meditating does truly help. Be kind to yourself.
I can relate. I also have to deal with child with ADHD and my health issues which can be debilitating. We start the day with prayer and meditation. It really helps.
Another option is the Calm app which I think now during the pandemic is free. There are lots of different types of guided meditations. Hugs
Thank you. I can always count on you to respond first with great advice I hope you are doing well. I think I will focus on Math and ELA and leave the other subjects alone. It's just too much. I wish my son could self learn but he cannot and i have to sit with him through all the online lessons. It is quite tiring.
That is what most homeschooled families do.. It will all work out.. Do your best! Big hugs
I second Onthemove! I actually talked to my son’s psychiatrist, and she added a small dose of adderall to the morning (5mg). We are using this time to fine tune the medicine when I can see when he is more/less focused for school. It’s hard, but a very unique opportunity to dig into my son’s med management.
My honest opinion, and I have many friends who are teachers, asst principals and principals. If you are loving him every single day, and he is happy then academics isn’t going to matter. Trust that the teachers have a plan to loop the kids back into shape next school year. Every single child and family is in the same boat. Let the learning come in unforeseen places... like how to just love one another during this time. That is a lesson too!
Give yourself a break... and email the teachers and be honest. That you can’t do it all, and you will do what you can. It’s OK, and you are doing awesome.
Thank you for the encouragement!!! Hope you are doing well with your child. These are great tips.
Oh, and zoom us! We can help!
Adding moral support! You are not alone, and it's terrible... I'm working full time from home, DH is "essential" and I'm on my own with 3 and 7 yo boys (7 yo w. severe ADHD). I especially want to poke my eyes out when I hear about all of the projects people are doing in their free time. Plant a garden! Bake bread from scratch! Bah humbug! Not sure about you... but I am a high achiever/rule follower/box ticker through and through. When the teachers dole out the assignments and say how important everything is, I feel tremendous internal pressure to snap to it and get everything done. But with my son.... it's just not going to happen. I have an irrational fear that someone's going to come knocking and demand to see all of the completed worksheets, and I am actively working to "let it go"! Agree with comments above. I read a suggestion to teach life skills (eg, cooking, chores!) in lieu of schoolwork... I've tried it a few times with some success (obviously my boys are a lot younger). Just do what you can and don't sweat it (easier said than done, I know). The changes in routine, uncertainty, constant risk assessment... it's all so stressful for all of us, including kids and parents. Sending you zen vibes and virtual hugs 
Thank you for the humor. I needed that!
I’m on my own with an 8 and 10 yr old with ADHD and am not working and finding it hard to keep up. So know that you are not alone and are doing a good job. One hr at a time.
Hugs! You are doing a great job! I agree with the previous replies. Honestly my thought is any teacher who is "piling it on" is someone who feels like they need to justify their existence. I have seen things on the news such as, don't worry about your child being behind because all children are learning from home or like the one reply use this time to teach life skills. In the long run if you help your child to feel secure and loved in these uncertain times and how to deal with stress in a positive way will be way more important than the academics. You can do this.
Thank you Rescuestory!
Hi! I feel your pain, as said before you are not alone❤️. This is temporary and if your son can’t do all the assignments maybe talk to his teachers and the school counselor see how they can adjust his assignments. And remember you are doing the best you can and so are your son, be kind to yourself. Sending lots of air hugs 🤗
Hi, I have a son the same age with similar issues. To be honest, I really don't pay attention to what teachers send me. My focus is on basic math, reading, writing. My son has a language disorder and is 2 grades lower on reading and writing level. So I just do worksheets for English, math to practice what he has learned this year, and reading everyday. I do it in incrimints. So I start with math, as that is easier for him, usually takes him 20 minutes to complete on his own. He gets a reward, then a break. Then a reading with questions to answer. I make everything easy to build his confidence and enable him to do work independently. If I was to give everything the teachers gave me, it's one on one. So I focus on building his base with basics to catch up. Rewards are key! All of this takes about 2 hours a day. I can space this out how ever it works best in my schedule. As i have 3 boys, 12, 10, 15 months. Both older boys have learned difficulties, so I chose to take this break to not stress them like at school, but build them on where they struggle. Remember any time you give your son will benefit him, teachers don't always know what's best, and kids are overly stressed and school and fall through the cracks on basics. I hope this was helpful.
Yes this was absolutely helpful! I really like the idea of teaching in increments and offering the rewards for finishing. Like your child, my son is in 7th grade but is functioning at 3rd grade level in Math and Reading. He has so much difficulty with writing too. I'm not certain all the virtual projects, writing assignments and extensive math work that the 7th graders are doing now is going to be beneficial. They are even making the kids do 30 minutes with the PE teacher for virtual exercise along with virtual art/resources class. I feel so overwhelmed and can only imagine how my son must feel. Thank you for your advice.
I live in Quebec and here the kids are not being graded for any work. I see how much school misses the basics and how kids are being pushed to do difficult work, when they barely have basics. Learning eggs is a great online site for reading and comprehension. Your son sounds like hes at the same level as mine and this program is great its 15 $ a month, breaks everything down to easily understand and can be done alone. They earn eggs to buy games in the eggs, there is a test to find their level. There is also math elephant that is a bit expensive 50$ a month, but honestly really amazing for basic math! My son start at age with his placement and has grown to age 10 in 3 months!!! Math is timed to max 20 minutes about 3 times a week. Very easy to do and would also be great for your son to give him a great base in multiplying, dividing, fractions, decimals. Biggest thing is they learn to understand the questions in math easier! If you need any other ideas, please message me.
Hi Janice you are not alone so do not feel bad. I’m Lynn and I’m a single mother of a 10 year old boy that is in 5th grade. He has ADHD and emotional disturbance. I elected to give him a break from Adderall during this time which has made my journey a little rocky, but I love seeing more of his personality. My son has only two teachers and one is just piling on work and really not engaging the kids. I made the decision to not stress myself or my son out and I have focused on core knowledge that I believe he will need for the next grade which is ELA and Math. We only work on Science and Social Studies if he finishes ELA and Math ahead of schedule.
What has tremendously helped me was getting approval from my employer to work outside of core hours. They have approved working up to 8 hours per day (which is normal) and not to exceed 40 hours in a workweek (which they have added Saturday to the workweek). I can work up to 8 hours each day between the hours of 12:00 am and 11:59 pm as long as the full shift does not cross over into another day. I can start and stop whenever needed without having to send emails or clocking in and out. This has allowed me the option of working less hours each day if I want. It also helped my employer with the load on the VPN connection so they extended this to our entire agency. We just have to be available for meetings which has not been a problem.
I’m trying to take an approach that will help my son appreciate the amount of time we are home together. I have also incorporated home economics into the learning by allowing him to bake, cook and clean...he enjoys the cooking, but not the cleaning but it is learning!!
You are so lucky to have flexibility in your work schedule. My son is supposed to take Ritalin, but like you I decided to give him a break while he is out of school. It has made life very difficult and stressful. I still have not learned how to coordinate all that needs to be done by me. I've tried having a schedule, working part of the day and helping him with school work the remainder of the time. I'm not quite sure when I will adapt to any of this. Thanks for your advice.
I think one big take away is that you are not a teacher, so don’t feel compelled to be one. As someone else mentioned, email or speak to his teachers about the struggles and they may be able to offer areas to focus on rather than trying to tackle work for all of his classes. Also, if needed put him back on his medication. I have adult ADD and having my son home while I’m trying to work is very distracting so whilst I’m not giving him his Adderall, I’m taking mine each and every day!! Lol. Honestly, do what will work for you and your son. Just as proper medication dosing is trial and error, so is this new way of life that we are all forced to deal with.
Please feel free to contact me anytime (I think you can private message on here) even if it’s just to vent. Trust me I do not judge as I have been through a lot with my little one and each new year of school and new situation brings about new challenges. I’ll keep you and your son uplifted in prayer. You got this Janice!!!
Lynn
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