Was I doing everything wrong?

[Momma3316]

Join a little bit ago just been kinda nervous to post I have read alot of other ppl post and I have know how everyone is feeling I have a 13 year old son who was diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, anxiety disorder, sleep disorder, in SK has a learning disability and behavior problems at school and at home aswell and just last April got the physiological assessment done and was diagnosed with mild intellectual disability. When he was diagnosed he started on Biphentin and Risperidone and the Biphentin increased over the years then In switched doctors when he was 11 and the doctor stop the Biphentin and switch to concerta he started at 18mg when he was 11 now on 27mg concerta and 54mg concerta and risperidone 1mg takes all 3 in the morning and then takes clonidine at night to help sleep. He has always has behavior problems especially at school still does suspension after suspension had a behavior team at one point he just very defiant but with his learning disability and not understanding his school work he gets frustrated so behavior comes out he has always been labeled the bad kid in school and out just seems like no one understands him or what to do with him and honestly this past year and a half I have been wondering if I did everything wrong I have done everything by myself he has been counseling I have put him groups programs everything he is a great athlete loves basketball and football he has been on a basketball team every year since he was in grade 3 played football and travel football for 3 years but this last year in and a half has been thw worse of all hes in grade 8 now when he was in grade 7 he was charged with assault on one of his classmates he was arrested and brought to the police station and was put in a youth holding sell foe 2 hours was kick out of school for the rest of the year had to go to an intensive program for school and whixh he did very good at the school board let him go back to his school cause he did so good at the program and he wanted graduate with his friends and the other child that charged him is now in high school. He was doing very good at first then his behavior started again and he was getting sent home then suspended now he only goes to school for 2 hours due to his everyday teacher being on aleave so there a supply teacher and my son does not do good with change so 2 hours of school that is it which every morning fights with me to get up and go to school so he misses alot of school cause he refuses to wake up right now he is on a 10 day suspension cause he beat up a another child on school property and is getting charged again for another assault he smoking Im about sure he having sex to lies about everything doesn't listen to anyone at all he is out of control I thought I did everything I could do that I knew to do I tried my absolute best but I feel like I did every wrong. What do I do the school thinks I can not handle him and Im scared then will call children aid and he will be taken from me and put in a boy home cause of his behavior and thinking i can't handle.him 😢😢😢 I don't know if any is from Ontario Canada that is where I am from

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If I were in your shoes, I would consider the “boys home” idea a great option....if not the only option. If you can’t handle him and there is no spouse in the home to help, that could be a great life changer for you two. It depends on the facility, so I would at least meet with administrators at one to see. Understanding as best I can your situation above, if you don’t do something like this, he may be going to another type of facility. Also, if you are not doing it already, I would turn to the One that can give you the clarity and wisdom to take the screaming tea pot off the stove. By this, I mean our one true God. You may be already reading your bible and enjoying a deep faith filled relationship with Him, but if you aren’t, words can’t describe how your world would improve. It’s real and it’s the ultimate game changer. Read Proverbs 3:5-6. I live by it. I’ll pray for you Momma3316.

[Hidden]

Hi, I know the system in Ontario. I think it would help to get connected with the local children’s mental health agency for your area. If you have a school social worker attached to your school board, they can help you get connected. Your situation is complex but there are agencies/system navigators that can help you, including in home help. And with regards to CAS, they will not take your child if you are doing what you can, or are open to, getting help for yourself and for your child. They work with families on preventing kids going into care and they can also help connect you with services. A whole family approach is best. Finding the right person/right service is exhausting, but hang in there, once you find the right person. Service, it will help, and at the very least, provide support to you as you try to get your son the right help. There are also respite services who can help, and this does not mean giving up your child, it just recognizes that we are human and need a break sometimes while we do our best for our kids and ourselves. Children’s mental health agencies help you assess strengths and needs and help coordinate relevant services accordingly.