Ostracized from social interaction

My grandson is 9 yrs old, I’m the paternal grandmother who recently adopted him and he has always called me mom. I’ve raised him from birth. Recently, a few of the neighbor kids have ostracized my son because of gossip and rumors that spread among the other families. We live in a upper class neighborhood with very respected families. I am a widowed woman raising my son alone. How do other parents process and accept this hurtful behavior. It’s heartbreaking I almost want to put him in a private Christian school. I’ve cried many tears over this and my son is only 3rd grade. Ism afraid it will only get much worse and spread throughout the school, lunchroom, playground. Please direct me to any books, podcasts, or personal stories. Thank you for the support.

A heartbroken Mom

[anirush]

As someone who's been there ,done that private Christian schools aren't going to guarantee that the children treat people right or that the parents don't get snobby about things. And you usually have to work harder there to get social services for your child.

Rumors tend to fade with time although it's hard to deal with it while it's happening.

Could you approach some of the parents 1 on 1 to see what the problem is?

[Pennywink]

I’m so sorry to hear that. Social rejection is unfortunately common for kids with ADHD, though anyone can be a target for bullying.

If seems to spread to the school, I would definitely talk to the school about it. If us a well off area, they hopefully have something in place to handle bullying and encourage positive social interactions.

Does he have friends outside of this neighborhood group? How are his social skills?

[Hidden in reply to Pennywink]

Thank you for your input. He’s an only child so he developed friendly skills at an early age. I see the rejection is wearing on him, eroding his confidence little by little. He now goes to the library to avoid kids during recess and lunch. He’s friendly alright, but is starting to feel less than.

I don’t want him to develop a victim mentality.

Thanks for your post

[Pennywink in reply to Hidden]

Sure thing! I know it’s heartbreaking. I recommend contacting the school, possibly the counselor. Hopefully they have some processes in place to help your son. My son occasionally has “lunch buddies”, where the counselor eats lunch with my son and lets my son pick a few kids to join. Then they can reinforce bonds under the guidance of the counselor, under the guise of just a fun special lunch. My son doesn’t even realize it’s a social skills training & doesn’t feel singled out.

Another thing that helps my son a bunch is being in activities outside of school where he can form friendships. Cub Scouts has definitely forged some friendships that has carried over to school (and many of the other Scouts also seem to be quirky kids with ADHD.) Plus Church & family events gives him friends unrelated to school, thus not subjected to whatever public opinion is going on in school.

Best of luck!

[zazzitup]

Unfortunately, Private Christian Schools are no different. My husband and I have raised my granddaughter since birth. Both her parents had "issues." She struggled to fit in at elementary school. Not only was she judged, but my husband and I too. It eventually passed. We always supported her in every way. She got involved in sports. That helped a lot. She is now a Junior in the same private school. Things are much better. Hang in there!

[Hidden]

Thank you for your reply. Sports is a great choice. Unfortunately, my guy is very small. Soccer is a great choice. Also, I am giving him a guitar for Christmas. Maybe he’ll fall in love with music.

Thanks again