ADHD Parents Together
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Thank God for the Internet

Thank God for the Internet and this page. I to am a parent who gets daily notes about my 7 year olds behavior. I constantly doubt myself that I waited too long to have my son evaluated, but I have to tell myself better now than never. I cry myself hearing my son tell me Mommy Mommy I'm trying my hardest to be good I promise. It's all heart breaking. Now I have to go to my son school because his teacher has decided she wasn't able to handle his behaviors she grabbed him by the arm and shoved him to the ground. I just know my son's a smart boy but I don't want him judged because he has this or me as a mom judged as if I'm not there for him. I would give my son the world, I would take this from him and give it to myself if I could. I just don't want my son treated as if the have to belittle him because he is had difficulties and behind his other classmates.

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My heart breaks for you and your child. I hope that teacher was repremanded, that's not acceptable. Looks like you need to get a 504 and or an IEP in place at the school, put the pressure on them to get your son the support he needs. As for the people who judge you and your child, we've all been there. Don't let them into your head, surround yourself with people who understand. Research, research and do some more research. Do not beat yourself up!!! I tried to get my son help at the age of 3 and no one listened to me so, even if you started this year's ago you could be in the same place as you are now. It wasn't until grade 1 and the school could not handle him that people started to listen, even then it seems to be a slow process. You are meant to be his mom for a reason. Its really hard but you can do this..... keep us the great work!!

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Thank you for that. I'm currently in the process of getting the IEP. Hopefully we can get some solutions. Cause Lord knows I'm trying.

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my love and prayers for your kid

i also got iep for my son

but they wanted to put him in self contained

but i tried my best to get support for him in inclusion

hes in grade 1

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Thank you. My son is also in 1st grade. His IEP is coming soon. I hope for a good outcome and some sort of solution. I do see that a part day self contained class would be good but only if it to teach him on a one one basis and not a daycare for my child.

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yeahh for some part of day self contained is ok ,

My story is very long but this forum us very helpful it always helped me

School put my son in full time self contained in kindergarten and they put pressure on me it was like a cold fight between me and social worker

then I raise my voice at IEP and even contacted special ed director they helped me alot then.

he was diagnosed with mild learning disability and dvlopemntal delays

otherwise he had no behaviourial issues.

This year they put him in first grade inclusion and hes getting support

then i left for my country fir two months then i came back

and tomorrow is iep meeting

and i m

praying I dn want to put him again in srlf contained because he was regressing in social behaviours .

Now in inclusion hes us very happyy but not doing good in maths

tomorrow i will talk to give him more help in maths.

Also yet i am going to evaluate him from neuro independently if he have adhd or not in newjersey.

Because smtimes schools rush to give labels

Also i give risperidone to my son for focus problem he have smtimes i got it from my native country

My love and support and prayers for uuuu and your son

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I agree. Although my son is VERY social I think not being with his peers doing things he enjoys as a seven year old would send him into a state I don't think he would be able to cope with. I'm praying this meeting is more so to come up with things to help and not a game of blame on us as parents. Because trust I've already put myself in it. It's rather someone say ok Mom and Dad these are things you two can work on to better help your child. I hope your little one gets the help and attention he needs from his School.

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teacher should not do that sweet child❤️️❤️️❤️️🌹

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Hi MomB10----

First- if your son's teacher grabbed your son by the arm and threw him to the ground, she needs to be removed from the classroom immediately. Please bring it to the attention of two people, the Principal of the School and a Police Officer or Sheriff. What she did is called "child endangerment" and it needs to be quickly documented and reported to authorities before she hurts another child. That is completely and totally unacceptable behavior, period, regardless of who the child or adult is. Being this is a teacher who is in the company of children daily, it needs to be handled ASAP.

With that said, there are always two sides to a story and if there is any chance your son is making this up or is uncertain about what really happened, you need to figure it out and address it asap. She could have had to do that to protect another child from your son. So what "really" happened here needs to be figured out and dealt with because no matter how you look at this, something went really wrong and needs to be addressed ASAP. Don't wait, handle it right away!

What is your son is diagnosed with and is he on medication?

As for the pain and suffering you are enduring, we all understand. It totally sucks that we all have kids that aren't in line with the Jonses'. We've all cried and stressed and blamed and done the pity party thing. The sooner you end the party and roll up your sleeves and realize, YOU CAN DO THIS......the sooner you will realize you can do this and everything will be ok!!!!!!! So cry out loud, yell and scream, punch the pillow, then stop, take a deep breath and look at your child and repeat.....I can do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You've got this! We all have your back.......you can do it!!!!!!

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That's it two sides to every story! After talking to the Aid in the class we did get insight to his behaviors in class. It's when everyone is sitting in class my son wants to roam around the class and the teacher then has to stop doing what she's doing to instruct him to have a seat several times a day. Which I KNOW is frustrating for her trust me I do. I think the mom in me came out first to say how dare she touch my son in such a way. I'd rather for her to send him to the office. Plus her attitude towards me does not help.

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If your son has ADHD, he may have a physical need to move at that moment. This teacher has no idea how to handle kids with ADHD if so. You need to get him out of that classroom if possible. I wonder if she'd physically force a kid with neuromuscular disorder to stand when the class is supposed to stand? I bet not because she's assuming your sons issue is discipline, not physical impairment. She's wrong.

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My son was thrown into the lockers during class by his teacher in first grade. All he was doing was rolling a pencil on his desk when a classmate was handing out cupcakes for a birthday. He told me this 2 weeks after it happened while I was putting him to bed. I called the principle that next morning about it. She investigated it. I was told she couldn't confirm it but low and behold the teacher retired that year. I think more was discovered than what I was told. I think it was a forced retirement.

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Also at IEP

dont rush to sign the documents .

You have a right to take time or review them at home and then make a decision

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Yes...Do not sign other than the page that says you attended the IEP meeting until you have had a chance to review the document at your own pace outside of the meeting. Tell the school you are going to record the meeting. Anything that is not documented in the notes to the IEP essentially “never happened” so don’t hesitate to suggest additions to the notes. Good Luck.

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MomB10

1. That teacher needs to be reprimanded.

2. Don't beat yourself up.

3. Have him evaluated for an IEP. They have to do it as requested by u.

4. See your Pediatrician to evaluate to and get him on meds!

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Firstly, I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. I can tell you now that feel bad won't help anything. The best thing you can do is become educated about the laws of an IEP, and a parent. Learn the ins and outs of how the school works.

As for the teacher, I agree there are two sides of a story, but in either case is she laid hands on a child it is jot only child endangerment it is assult of a minor. Check with you local laws and find out if you can legally place either a recorded or a camera on your child. In NY both parties need to be aware of the recording. Your other option is to surprise drop in on the school. I'm a single parent, so this is hard for me to do. However, from time to time I would pop in.

Now for the IEP, my daughter is in kindergarten and I received a lot of push back on having her receive an IEP, and I was told that though she was delayed it wasn't enough for her to receive an IEP. It took me getting my daughter seen by a doctor and diagnosed with ADHD combination form and Jacobsen syndrome for people to finally listen.

I would advice you to read everything possible and to be as educated as possible on how your state laws work on an IEP. In NY, my daughter would have had to have significant issues during an evaluation before an IEP would be assigned. I was only able to obtain one by means of medical need. Verses the school thinking she needed one.

I would push back on them trying to isolate your child, it is one thing to go off for a session to work on issues, it's another to be pulled from a class room. My daughter struggles in a large class room, and though she would be better in a much smaller classroom, the new school she is at tries to have her be a part of her regular class.

Last point, I would push for a 1 on 1 aid just for your son. That way there is a person to mediate your son and the teacher and protect him. My daughter's aid has been a blessing, she has helped in more ways than I can write. With her help, we have been able to get my daughter to start focusing, and when she can't sit still she will let the aid know and they go into a quiet corner where she gets to still do work, but isn't distracting fellow students.

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My grandson had it written into his IEP that he could get up and wander around within a certain area. These kids have a hard enough time sitting.

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