Much of this sounds like normal ADHD behavior: lack of impulse control, difficulty focusing (homework is a challenge) and being easily distracted while going to do one task (like getting the mail). It also sounds like pre-pubescent boy stuff (like annoying his mom with his farts and working on his muscles). Does he have a positive male role model in his life? When I’m not sure what to make of my 13-year-old son’s behavior, I default to my husband’s knowledge of boys.

Blowing bad breath in your face could just mean he’s wanting attention from you and has learned a way to get it (though it’s negative attention). What are his favorite ways to spend time with you? Try doing more of those things and the attention-grabbing behavior could diminish.

Sounds like your son is overall happy and healthy versus angry and irritable though!? And that’s a positive thing any day when dealing with adhd.

My daughter is 11 and she definitely has behaviors that upset me. I agree with MVin Seattle, though, it sounds like from your description that your son is within the bounds of ADHD and puberty. Have you ever had him tested for anything else? He could also have ODD or depression or something like that which could be at play here. We try to be very clear about expectations - and make those expectations simple and easy to follow. We do a lot of timers and charts and lists. I have gotten a ton of good advice from ADDitude magazine and their FB page. I also love Sharon Saline’s “What Your ADHD Child Wants You to Know.” Is your son in therapy? That helps too. I also always recommend trying to find good things he’s doing and really praising him for it - and also finding as much time as you can to spend positive time with him. They are like negativity sponges - they remember everything bad and forget everything good about themselves FWIW, I have a son too (not ADHD) and he is gross and annoying! So I feel your pain ...

ADHD Is a mental illness although other things usually go along with it like anxiety, depression. How is he doing in school?

Behavioral therapy really helps when they get older. But with growth spurts also come instability with medication.

One of my grandsons gets violent and tries to break things when he is unstable. I would much rather have silly teen things to deal with than that. They say you should pick your battles, what you can just ignore and what's important enough to put your foot down on.

Sounds like a typical preteen boy with ADHD. My daughter is 12 and is noticeably lagging in maturity at times. Her doctor said children with ADHD tend to lag about 3 years in maturity and will catch up around age 16 when all of the connections in their growing brains are finalized.

Puberty will make ADHD symptoms worse. The hormones can make it crazy and with the fact that the ADHD means that certain frontal lobe behaviors take longer for these kids to mature often times being a couple years behind, your son's behavior seems normal. We really struggled with my son at that age. At 16 we are seeing signs of maturity, but there are still times we see these behaviors. And though he is not out of control as often, he is always easily distractable - especially by electronics. Don't worry, there is nothing wrong with your son. It is part ADHD, part puberty and part being a boy. It can be exhausting. If he is struggling even with the meds I would have his meds checked. It may be the wrong med or the wrong dose. I know that once my son's meds wear off we can tell and it makes homework a living hell for everyone involved. He has learned that study hall is his best friend and tries not to have to bring anything home. I have definitely learned how to pick my battles and how to deal with my son so that things don't escalate. I have been there....the yelling, the slapping, the crying. I am not always as patient and as good as I want to be, but it has made a huge difference in our household. Keep your chin up. You are not alone and there is nothing wrong with you son. His brain works different than ours and it is a learning curve for us all. I know it can be exhausting and frustrating. It will get better, I promise.

Janice,

I agree with the other posts - although very annoying, this is typical behavior for many ADHD boys in their teens. I would be sure he is taking his ADHD meds and also know that this has probably worn off by the end of the school day, so their impulsive behavior can look really bad. Homework may require a short-acting booster, although I would try for no homework at all, if you can arrange it. I can tell you I am sure a big part of your son's behavior is just to annoy you. My son admitted this several years ago, when he finally started to mature (at age 23!) - he loved to annoy both me and my husband. Please ignore what you can - the farting, the bad breath (they never brush their teeth!), and most other behaviors. We finally realized that very brief interactions were best, with no long dialogues because he just tuned out. Please try and not take this so seriously because they don't get better for quite a while!!

First, you are doing a great job and that shows just by the fact that you are reaching out for help and advice.

Second, your son is a very normal pre-pubescent boy who is struggling with ADHD.

For us personally, my son did very well on a medication called Intuniv. Along with the medication I did some experimenting with his diet. Unfortunately, it seemed like any small amount of processed food would send his behavior into a tailspin. On days that I would take the time to get all fresh, organic ingredients he was a dream child. On days that I made even a quick box of just about anything his actions within an hour after dinner were off the charts. This has become very expensive and time consuming but when I see my son happy and functioning at a good level it is worth every penny. So, I buy as much organic foods as possible, nothing processed (not even Kraft American Cheese, I buy fresh block cheese that's usually made from pasture raised, organic cow or goat milk that I then slice myself) I make sure as much of the meats I buy are pasture raised with no hormones or antibiotics, I watch his sugar intake, cut out all sodas, etc.

He has always wanted to be a policeman or go into the military (or both). We found a program call the Young Marines for 8-18 year olds which he joined. This gives him great male role models, has taught him discipline and he loves it so much that he seems to be able to focus just fine to be really successful and he has been a tremendous boast to his confidence. The program is very involved in drug education, is supported by the Marine Corps League and the DEA. They have real ranks and the entire program is based on many of the core values of the U.S. Marines. Maybe finding a program, sport activity or something that might interest your son that he has a passion for could help relieve some of his energy.

As for your own personal time. The only help and advice I can give on that one is you might need to create a different time for yourself. I had to make my time an hour before anyone else gets up in the morning. I have come to love and relish my morning time. I don't get to watch my movies but I do get to read. I grab my cup of coffee, crawl back into my cozy bed (or on really nice mornings I sit on my patio) and read for a bit and then I take a nice shower. It allows me to start my day relaxed instead of frantically getting everyone ready. I feel like I can conquer the chaos that starts once everyone else gets up. It took awhile to adjust to the schedule change, I go to bed a little earlier but then so does everyone else and we all seem to be a little bit happier with a better sleep schedule and mom being happy because she found a way to have "her time." Just a suggestion.