Hello all, let me introduce myself.
My son (five years old) was recently diagnosed ADHD. I was upset but in a way relieved since it explained a lot of his behavior, which until that point I had wholly blamed myself for.
Here's the complication: his mother, my wife, has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). If you're not familiar with BPD, the short answer is she can go from normal to raging and disassociated in 30 seconds. Recent behaviors include hitting me while I was sleeping next to our 2 year old daughter, trying to make two year old daughter pee on the floor so I had to clean it, and cutting half my wardrobe to shreds. Not a good environment for children and I'm doing everything I can to improve it. She has also recently acknowledged her illness and is taking some first steps.
Here's problem 1): This means its hard to distinguish how much of his negative behaviors are coming from ADHD and what are coming from home environment.
Here's problem 2): dealing with mama's problems leaves me so emotionally used up that I have very little energy to give son and am becoming a really bad father (screaming at him, grabbing him when he won't stop running around).
Today is a first step, coming here to learn more about ADHD and hopefully get some context by which to determine how to better understand and help my son.
Looking forward to connecting with everyone here and hearing your insights!