My family believes that ADHD has been over diagnosed and that "these things just take time" and "boys are like that." They definitely don't believe in medication for ADHD. My 6 years old is a classic case of ADHD and is doing well on meds. I feel like I need to hide his treatment and medication from my family. Is there another way? We're super fortunate that his teacher and school understand the diagnosis and are supportive.
Thought, empathy, stories, advice... all welcome.
Hi there, I have four children, two of them ( boys ) have adhd and are medicated though their ages and manifestations of the condition are very different.
I think you could explain to your family that there are now electronic tests using computers which test reaction time which can be used to diagnose or reinforce diagnosis. Can’t remember what the test is called but you can look it up.
Also remind them that now we have MRI in real time specialists can see that there are differences in brain response in those with ADHD.
I explain it as being hard- wired differently.
Adhd overlaps with other things like autism, dyspraxia, dyslexia etc.
One of my adhd boys has some autistic traits but is not considered to be on the autistic spectrum. So, each person is unique.
The difference in my older child when he finally got medication ( he was diagnosed late due to complicated circumstances) was astounding. It was like a switch had been thrown and he heard me the first time, he was focussed and interacted with us in a normal, attentive way with good reciprocity. Before that he had been distracted and unable to hear what I was saying to him even when I looked him in the eye and said it several times. It just didn’t go in.
I do think that I’m the US there is overmedication and overdiagnosis. But here doctors are very cautious about prescribing psychotropic medications and they are more tightly regulated here than across the pond.
Hang in there, stick to your guns. Your main job is to nurture your children and help them to grow and mature so that they can live fulfilling and worthwhile lives. Don’t let anyone put you off.
If family members really won’t understand after repeated explanations, then you may need to keep a little distance so that your children can thrive rather than be under negative scrutiny all the time, and that goes for you too. Constant negativity can be very draining and demoralising.
Believe in yourself and your children.
Xxx
Dude - I’m with you! I have a family member who is a therapist who doesn’t believe my son has ADHD, and hints at it from time to time. Even a 6 hr neuropsychological exam wasn’t convincing enough (that’s finally won my mom over.) This person DEFINITELY disapproves of the medication. And since they are a psychologist, I really can’t explain anything they don’t feel they already know more than me on.
And they are entitled to their opinions & to disagree with me. So mostly we just recognize the other feels differently & move on. Initially it made it harder to bring my husband around, but after he saw how much medication helped, that won him over. Sometimes they make a passive aggressive comment, I either ignore it, or smile & find a way to move the conversation on. Non-confrontational has worked best for me, as I can’t forsee changing any minds. So long as this person isn’t saying things in front of / to my children, I just grit my teeth & let it go.
In general, I tend to be hesitant whom I tell about my son’s ADHD.
Best of luck!
There’s definitely a popular public / media perception that the US is overdiagnosing ADHD. But I just don’t believe this is true, or at least not to the extent of public perception. There may be some misdiagnosis (either mistaking ADHD for something else or vice versa), as young boys especially are notorious for masking symptoms. But we’re really not taking millions of healthy neurotypical kids & just drugging them because school is too hard and parents want an easy out.
Diagnosis rates have gone up, not just with ADHD but with mental health issues across the board. However, the Prevalence rate has not increased. Basically, researchers feel that the number of people actually dealing with ADHD is the same as from earlier decades, just more of them are actually being officially diagnosed.
The only skeptics are those who are not raising a kid with ADHD....
Amen to that!
Sadly, those who are closest to us will disagree with the diagnosis, treatment decisions we make and how we are raising our children. They do not have the experience, educational and medical background that our physicians do. Continue to do what you feel is best for your child and avoid sharing information. If you need to talk with someone, find parents with similar concerns that you can confide in. You do not need to share with family. I stopped doing this quite some time ago.
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