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Dealing with exclusion - Activities for 7-year-old with ADHD

mrl12 profile image
6 Replies

My 7 year old wanted to try gymnastics this year, so we signed her up. She seemed to enjoy it and never wanted to miss a class. But she was afraid to try some of the things they were doing and would get frustrated and feel left out if she couldn't do it or was too afraid to try it before they moved on to the next thing. She also had a tough time following the rules and waiting patiently for her turn, so she would start climbing on other equipment and would get in trouble.

Whenever she feels left out or gets scolded, she's a ticking time bomb and she reacts either by being extra disruptive and running around the gym, or by melting down. These responses have occurred 3 times over 9 classes and in the last session, I was told she couldn't return. Her behavior is dangerous because she climbs on things she shouldn't when nobody is watching or runs in front of other gymnasts who are practicing their tumbling. I completely understand the gym's decision to have her not come back, but it has very much affected her. She feels rejected, self-conscious, and disliked. What makes it worse is that her little sister is also in gymnastics and can continue to go and my ADHD daughter feels that's so unfair. I even thought about pulling them both out, but that wouldn't be fair to the little sister who enjoys gymnastics.

I just want to find her some activity or chance to socialize and build confidence. I've talked to her about what else she might like to do, like music classes, sports (especially keep trying to get her to try track), girl scouts, cheerleading, etc. She's not interested in any of it. But I also worry about her getting kicked out of more activities because of her emotional dysregulation and impulsivity.

Any thoughts or ideas?

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mrl12 profile image
mrl12
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6 Replies
JJMom16 profile image
JJMom16

I'm so sorry your daughter had this experience. It's understandable from the gym's perspective. Could you find her a program with private lessons, and once she's confident, move her to a small group?

Also, what about swimming? It's an individual sport where she can still be with others (in a class or on a team, eventually), yet work at her own pace. My oldest (non ADHD, but has problems sometimes with fairness/competition) and middle (almost 6, ADHD + anxiety) are both loving it.

eaw49 profile image
eaw49

It’s so heartbreaking when our kids self esteem gets knocked down. It can be so fragile and takes twice the effort to build it back up. I think you are so wonderful to keep searching for ways to do just that. I have friends that have had a lot of success with horse back riding therapy. I don’t know if you have something where you live but it might be worth a try. Here is a link that talks about the benefits. I wish you and your family the very best. chadd.org/adhd-weekly/is-th...

Aloysia profile image
Aloysia

She might want to try parkour/ninja warrior and/or rock/boulder climbing. Both involve climbing on things and both are more used to having ADHD kids around than other activities. Especially parkoor/ninja warrior. Also maybe martial arts. You might want to get her to agree to try a single class and see how things go. It's hard to decide if you like something or not without trying it. :-)

mrl12 profile image
mrl12 in reply to Aloysia

Thank you Aloysia ! Coincidentally, after posting my question I stumbled upon a parkour/ninja warrior gym near me that has classes for her age group. We're going for a trial class tonight. :)

anirush profile image
anirush

My grandsons both did well in Taekwondo but even they had times when they would have to wait for a turn which is hard. One of the owners of the studio was a special ed teacher which helped. They were very patient.

mermaidsNfairies profile image
mermaidsNfairies

We had the exact same experience with my daughter in gymnastics, and then again a few years later with figure skating. I'm finding the best activities for her are those that keep up a fast pace. She loves dodgeball because there is very little waiting or instruction. I think the ninja warrior class you mentioned above sounds fabulous!

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