Bad behaviors! Please help: Need some... - CHADD's ADHD Pare...

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Bad behaviors! Please help

jennifer425 profile image

Need some advice ;

My almost 10 years old boy has alot of behavioral issues in school and at home also he has an iep just with speech, ot and therapy thats all; im having a rough time in the mornings his out of control in the house before going on the bus , he wakes up my 1 year old baby with all the screaming and talking .. do you guys think he needs a 1:1 aide for school or maybe he is too big for that and other kids are going to make fun of him? His also on focalin xr it only last like 3 hours in the school time , when he comes home is already out of the system! Do you guys have any recommendations or have been through this , he is a smart mouth and says alot of bad words , he also dont listen to me at all . His only calm down when my bf gets home from work after 5 pm there he will behave better.

38 Replies

Thanks for your post, we have all been their with these kind if issues. As far as home is concerned and you guys see a thearpist? Many things that I have learned say the children with ADHD need medication (coverage all day, including afterschool) thearpy and accommodations at school. I woud recommend that you also, if you have not done yet see a child psychartist so they can help you with timing of medication and dose.

There are thingss like rewards you can set in place to make the morning go well. They are a number of previous post about this that might also help.

In school you should work with the psychologist to determine the best options for him to decrease the behaviors. They can re-write the IEP to help him.

Hope these suggestions help.

Big hug. Take care

I just started with the theraphy services at home , he has an appoinment with a new physiquiatrist on the 16 th, what other accomodations can i use in a iep? Other then speech and ot ?

Sounds like you can use a therapist or possibly coach who specializes in parent training for ADHD. It definitely benefits from having specific parenting techniques. If his medication is wearing off early, than perhaps a booster dose or something for the evening may work as well. A psychiatrist can help you with this.

Like Onthemove said, the school psychologist can hopefully help you with school accommodations. Making accommodations at home also helped us out a lot, and hopefully your therapist can guide you here. I also really liked 'Smart but Scattered' by Peg Dawson for making changes at home (visual cues, signs & charts, reward systems, analog timers, etc.)

Best of luck!

Im going to look for that and what type of accomodations you think?

There are general accommodations the can help your child ( sitting up front, breaks if needed), Then there are many that really specific to his issues. My son struggles to trun assignments in. He needs extra time on standarize tests and teacher notes. But our son is middle school. ‘

I am sure what your son struggles with. You can also get modifications like reduced load, reviewing insttuctions.. But most of these need to come from the psychologist.

Hope this helps.

Oh ok so his the one who has to say what the kid needs?

So children must "qualify" for a 504 plan or IEP ( Individual Education Plan) once they do they are assigned a staff member who coordinates the plan. They invite the appropriate people to the meeting and also have involvement with the child and parents. Once they qualify, based on assessment and documentations. Then needs are determined, based on the assessment. Recommendations are made to the parents and the Team of people involved ( often an Administrator, teacher, parent and any supporting staff) decides on any accommodations that could help the child. Some schools prevent the family with a list and sometimes parent come saying " my kid needs...). Then modifications are discussed that the child really needs. Modifications are things like reduced number of problems, less homework and anything that changes the base curriculum ( so times it could be behavior based also) child is using. These are important not only for the classroom but also for state testing ( if you look on your state testing website it will tell you what accom. or modifications).

For example: Our son has health issues and needs to access a nurse as needed. He also needs to be allow to use the restroom. These are all accommodations in his 504 plan.

I hope this helps, here is a article that you might like it has the issue and the accommodations

Here is one example:

If your child: Has difficulty following instructions

Try: Pairing written instructions with oral instructions

Here is an article on modifications:

Hope this helps, if you need any more help, you could send me a private message and I can help you with your individual situation.

Thanks so much , like i said he just have speech, ot, and like counseling thats it and the behavioral havent changed for years.

Just so you know some schools have specialist who just help with behavior. If there is not a qualified Special education staff member at the school then they should bring someone in to help. Often general education teacher have no experience with this, but school psychologist do.

I think of it as each year I am preparing him for high school. Every year has gotten much better but I have to push for it.


His on special ed school not regular school they have all type of people there but if you dont bother they wont help.

Really our son's 504 coordinator is a school counselor, yes she is sweet and kind, but has no formal training on writing what my child needs. The general education teachers have over 175 kids they teach so some of them can't be bothered with anything above and beyond. I get it no blame..

Once I understand in my situation, there is no ill will, but my sons officially transcript will have a bad grade if I don't push to help him. Then when he gets to high school I will have the same stuggles, that is why the educational plan is our road map.

Hope that makes sense.

Take care!

I have been through all of this. I have known my son was different when he was in the womb. When I gave birth to him, my obgyn Dr told me I was bruised inside and out from my son always kicking me. In the ultrasound he was always flipping off the camera. Odd as it seems. A mother always knows when something is wrong.

My is ALOT LIKE YOURS from what you had posted. My son will be 11 years old in August. And his attitude changes. He doesn't take medication anymore. I make oatmeal every morning and break open a fish oil gel capsule and put it in his oatmeal with a little bit of liquid creamer so he doesn't taste it. But if you keep doing it. You'll notice his attitude change. It helps with his Anxiety and impulsiveness and keeps his heart rate where it needs to be to keep him calm.

My son doesn't talk. He just screams and it gets hard to understand him. We fight to get him up in am and to get him to school before 11 am. And is hard to get calm at bed time. He is like an infant through out the night at times. I live in Douglas County, Myrtle Creek,Oregon and it's the best place for kids with issues like this. The School district actually gives incentives for my kids if they get to school everyday as they should. My daughter's 13th birthday is on April 15th and I have nothing to give or anything. I feel I fail as a mother. I can't work do to my son and everything else goin on around me.i wish their was a True Stay at home Mom job online with being scammed. But do what you can. Possibly find some fun board games around the house to do as a family. Also video games can also trigger his negative attitude so try to limit it if u can.

I Hope this info I gave you helps ay of you out and let me know how it has helped you.

One day I'll be able to be paid for my service's.. Godbless

My son is a picky eater he dont like oatmeal or hot chocolate none of that smh, he also dont have a video game just a tablet , i always tough a video game wasnt a good idea.

My grandson psychiatrist says medication doesn't do it all. But sometimes ADHD medication alone is not enough. Both of my teenage grandsons are on additional medication to help with mood swings. They also see a therapist to helps them learn to control their behavior.

My younger grandson's IEP has modifications such as if he feels himself losing control he can ask to go out in the hall or go to see the counselor. You need to say what you think your child needs at school to help him succeed.

jennifer425 profile image
jennifer425 in reply to anirush

That sound more like my son and yes im going to do eip accomodations , but for that he will needs notes from a doctor or school staffs?

This is very typical for our ADHD kids, especially as school gets harder. Remember that, developmentally, they’re 3 years behind. They start to ‘feel’ that & frustration results in ODD behaviors. Plus the medication needs change as they grow. My kid crashes when meds wear off & his behaviors get worse! Rude, defiant, aggressive. We changed his med routine & it’s working better. He’s 11, 80 lbs. takes 10 mg Short acting Focalin generic at 7am. He’s loud, rude, starved, defiant from 6:30 until meds start to work & after he eats. I allow him time on iPAD if he’s dressed & ready. This both motivates & calms him, allows me time to get myself ready. At school, he gets Focalin XR 15 mg at 9:30. Then at 1:30 another XR 15 at 1:30. This gets him through to 4pm. At 4, he gets Straterra & Guanfacine. I’m debating if the last two help, as they’re not stimulants but for executive function. Beyond all these meds, we are very strategic in our parenting. We try not to overreact to behaviors but we have firm house rules & consequences.

jennifer425 profile image
jennifer425 in reply to Mmagusin

Thats alot of medications , tell me he dont act like a zombie? Once i was doing short acting focalin at 7 am with breakfast then 5 mgs after lunch but once i went to school i saw him in the cafeteria and he couldnt raise his head up and he was soo differente , i got scared and told the neurologist and we stop it, to add to this his a really bad eater he dont eat regular food even if i force him , right now we took his ipad away because if bad words but that could work in the morning.

Mmagusin profile image
Mmagusin in reply to jennifer425

Every kid is different. He’s a fast metabolizer. He’s calm & focused, not a zombie. You have to work with your doctor to find the right mix AND determine if meds are even what is needed. If he could function without them & if just parenting methods worked, I’d totally do just that. The key is, how disabling or disruptive are his behaviors in his life? It’s a matter of degree. For iPAD, make sure you set-up parental controls with a password. Block YouTube. Only allow Kidstube.

jennifer425 profile image
jennifer425 in reply to Mmagusin

He likes to play roblox on the ipad thats all and he really have some bad behaviors when i give the medicine ot changes but as soon if out his back or worst to his old ways. The only person he listens to is my bf.

It's not a lot it's the same medication 3x a day and 1 added for focus. It's great control for a child who needs it.

Sometimes its helpful to think about a child who needs inclin to control their sugar levels. They are given injections many times a day.

With ADHD children need the medication to help control themselves. They also need thearpist and support in school which is challanging.

Have you gotten help with his pickyness and eating? An OT could help you better understand why. Or just make sure he has enough protein, we do smoothies with ice milk, banana and peanut butter. We do what we can do and then they mature more and grow up as they learn to deal with these issues.

I went to a nutrisionist but it didnt help this kid dont want to try new foods , and i understand if they need the medications im just scared it will be too much.

One last thing.. if it works, it will be working. If it is to much then you should see symptoms.

Don't worry about trying new things right now, he can explore things when he is older. As long as there is enough protein and he is growing you know you are good.

I asked a little girl at work what she had for breakfast she said "oreos".. I know at least I am doing ok if my child is not eating oreos!


Take care


My advise would be to consult with your doctor regarding the medication. Sounds like it is not effective. I would also consider enlisting a behaviour therapist. There may be several things triggering your son's behaviour in the morning, working with someone who could identify these triggers would go a long way to managing the behaviour. The one thing I can say for sure (and this may already be the case for you) is that kids, especially kids with ADHD need structure and routine. They need to know what to expect and when to expect it. That means if you say there will be a consequence for undesirable behaviour, you follow through - no negotiating.

jennifer425 profile image
jennifer425 in reply to Joanna03

Yes they need all of that.

I would talk to his doctor about either changing his medication or increasing it. Sounds like it isn’t effective at all.

jennifer425 profile image
jennifer425 in reply to MacRN10

Yes im going today.

Get notes from the doctor on his diagnosis for the school.

Sometimes when you 1st start on some medications that makes them really drowsy. But that will often wear off after a couple of weeks when they adjust

jennifer425 profile image
jennifer425 in reply to anirush

Im going to get everything i can today.

There is a new stimulant medication from Ironshore that is taken at night, kicks in around wake up time the next morning (to address the morning agitation) and lasts all day. Should be available in June. Might be helpful.

jennifer425 profile image
jennifer425 in reply to Elijah1

That be great

Hey guys the neurologist prescribe me intuniv 1 mg to give 30 mins before bedtime also 2.5 mgs focalin for booster dose and the 10 mgs of focain xr

Great news, please let us know how it goes with the new medication.

Take care

Lets see i will start the intuniv tomorrow night

The worst thing is that i got my mom and dad and they dont help me with my decisions , my son used to go every saturday to stay over their home but i just stop him from going , when he goes there they give him an ipad for the whole day then he goes to sleep at what ever time he wants , he also eats whatever junk food he wants there , theres No rules in that house , when i talk about what the doctor said to give my son and what to do they say im a bad mom that i just want to drug the kid so he dont bother , but they dont understand the situation. :(


Thanks for sharing your experiences. Many times families don't understand the need for children with ADHD. If the doctor is saying this is what he needs and you try the medication you will see a big difference in him. Maybe then you can re-explore going over there again. I wish you had better support.

Just know we are all in the same boat and are here to support and care about you.

Big hugs..

Thanks so much!

The preteen years can be difficult...and all my children behave better for other people. I keep reminding myself to be patient, stay consistent, and make sure they know I love them. Hope the advice you've gotten turns out to be helpful for you and your family.

UPDATED: my son is on focalin xr 1 mgs in the morning and My new psychologist recommended me to give the intuniv in the morning also 1 mg for 2 weeks , i havent seen no change i see him worse now omg , what i see now is that he dont have any love for us the people who lives with him , you can see it in his eyes, he dont respect anybody in the house and this makes me really sad , he has 2 days therapy but i dont see no results.

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