Undiagnosed Kindergartener needs a supporting school

[Hopeful_Helen]

I have a 5 yr old who had 6 bad weeks in school in Henrico county, VA. He was moved to a private school and they instantly complained of fidgeting, problems with impulsivity and a fiery temper when being called out or corrected. He got into a fight with a classmate and they asked him to leave until we have a conference. The problem is we have worked with a therapist to help them achieve appropriate behavior from my son. Both private and county believe his actions are by choice. He has moderate auditory processing issues but teacher felt as if he enjoyed something then he chose to do it and if he didnt enjoy something he withdrew. I'm confident that without proper support for his racing mind, fidgeting body and hair trigger that he will not be successful in these schools. Are there any schools in or near Richmond, Va or Henrico that have open doors for such a child. He can easily fit under the ADHD category, but again we were holding off from testing.

[Onthemove1971]

Hopeful_Helen-

Welcome to the group, we are excited to have you join and share the experiences you are having with your son. Most of us parents have been there with the behaviors. If I were in your sons I would not wait to get an official diagnosis, it will make life easier for everyone and it is a very long process so the sooner the better. As far as the auditory processing, is someone helping you with this?

When it comes to behaviors, children with ADHD don't wake up in the AM and say to themselves " I am going to be mean today and fight kids", they have a chemical imbalance and they are unable to control their impulses. I am sure if you look back at what caused his behavior there is something he wanted or was thinking about that caused this to happen.

Again, if I were in your shoes ( this is also speaking from personal experience) I would have your child see a child psychiatrist. They specialize in children who can benefit from medication to help him control himself. We learned the hard way and started with our pediatrician who gave us an inappropriate dose and type of medication, not their fault, they are just not experienced enough to know what our son needed.

Together with medication, therapy and an educational plan (504) we are finally seeing success. The younger you start the easier it will be for your son to learn what it feels like to be able to control himself and then learn the best strategies.

The school system should be able to help you with the 504 plan, the sooner the better so everyone is on the same team as how to handle his behaviors.

Best of luck, we are here for you it you need us. It is a journey and there are ups and downs.

Take care

[shellyn04 in reply to Onthemove1971]

WELL said!!!!

[Hidden]

Without an official diagnosis it will be difficult for a school to support him. Private schools can also be a poor fit for a kid with accommodation needs. They don’t have as many resources as a public school nor do they have the same requirements.

An evaluation will help pinpoint his needs so everyone is on the same page. It also helps identify what needs to be focused on.

[Janice_H]

Hello, please do not hold off on having your son evaluated. You will want to get him a combination of helpful medications, therapy and other services he qualifies for (speech/language, OT, behavior, etc.) I am thankful that a teacher's aid advised me to have my son evaluated while in kindergarten. He was diagnosed with ADHD and has been receiving IEP services since kindergarten. He is now 11 y.o. I am glad that I took action when he was at a younger age. Good luck!

[Hidden]

I agree with everyone else. Until you know exactly what you are dealing with then it's difficult to help your child. I truly wish that I would have known earlier that my daughter had the diagnoses she has now. Everyone here is super helpful and supportive so Good Luck!

[Want2BHappy3]

You need to go to the school superintendent, problem with these schools is that they don't want to do their job. I have a daughter with a learning disability, they could of cared less. They told me she was unemployable. That broke my heart to hear that. Well I went to every meeting and made them do their JOBS...they hated me being there. My daughter is grown now, with a job, doing well. Do your homework, be prepared, he's worth it.

[Hopeful_Helen in reply to Want2BHappy3]

I have to agree that they don't want to do their job. I'd requested back in October for my son to be evaluated by their OT since I knew there were sensory issues and they stopped at, "sorry, no disability, so we can't evaluate." I didnt find out abt. The child find meetings until January & I let them know I was disappointed that when I attempted to find out what his issues were, that they didnt say, you cant have this evaluation, but you can have this type of evaluation.

Fortunately, they allowed him to attend an elementary intervention school for now as they start to evaluation process. I pray he is allowed to stay there, since the teacher they were re-enrolling him with was the last teacher who was lacking compassion for his anxiety, etc.

[Want2BHappy3 in reply to Hopeful_Helen]

I'm glad to hear you accomplished something, but I'm sure not as much as you would like? Ask about IEP meetings. They tried to have a meeting without notifying me, when I found out, I gave them Hell and threatened to sue them if they did it again. My daughter was sent to a school where they had classes for special needs kids. The thing I hated about this was that ALL kids regardless of their needs we're put in the same class with one teacher??? So she wasn't getting what she needed. Keep fighting for your child their WORTH IT!!!

[Hopeful_Helen in reply to Want2BHappy3]

VDOE connected me with a family advocate through a VCU program. I will keep her posted on results and to seek advice on whatever steps we should take next.

[anirush]

Private schools don't have all the resources a public school does to deal with a special Ed kid. My daughter did go to a private school but it was a fight all the time, letters from the doctor etc to get them to accept her diagnosis and help her in school.

My grandsons go to a public school and even there you have to stay on top of things to get them the help they need.

A 5 year old especially a boy has problems sitting still anyway. Good luck getting the school to help you

[shellyn04]

hey helen! my son is now 12, almost 13 and we had him tested at 5yrs. onthemove is correct! the longer you wait the tougher it is on him AND you guys!!! we live in chesterfield county and we took our son to dominion behavior clinic. dr angela smith. liked her allot! we also started with our pediatrician and as great as his is, our psychiatrist is MUCH more experienced in the diff meds, side effects and which ones toghter can be a winner for your son. don't worry, as long as we have been on meds, i still have terrible heart burn about it. but knowing.... HE will feel better. his brain will slow down a bit, focus will be better which will mean he will at least TRY to do some school work. makes it worth it! still at 12 my son will check out if he doesn't understand/can't keep up. AND he may finally start to make a few friends i know i was ADHD when i was a kid, so i know how it feels in his head to feel like your not as smart as everyone else. we now see dr gould at tuckers psychiatric. not sure if he has any openings? but there are other good drs there too! henrico has GREAT schools. there is no reason you can't get him an IEP for some additional help here and there and he can be succesful. still an uphill battle for us at times, but sooo much better!! this site is such a great support too!! but feel free since we are local to email me if you ever need to chat or compare notes :) [e-mail]. hang in there!! it WILL get better!!!

[Hopeful_Helen in reply to shellyn04]

Thanks for your response and support.

[Hopeful_Helen]

I'm sorry, but didnt want to type a long email, he has started the process of being evaluated and since I know the process takes weeks, I needed somewhere to put him in the interim