Accidents during hyperfocus

[azulaco]

My six year old son wets his pants often when watching TV, playing video games, or on the playground. (Yes, we do limit his screen time.) When will this stop? He sometimes does it even after we’ve made him try the bathroom before starting the activity. I am so tired of it. I know he can’t help it, but I also have a three year old who’s a stubborn potty trainer and I am sick of the extra loads of pee laundry, and the constant monitoring. When did your ADHD kids’ bladder control finally, fully kick in, so that they didn’t wet themselves while focused on other stuff?

[5Flyingeagle]

Not to take you backwards, but have you thought about pull ups for him? My daughter is 8 she holds it a long time somtimes. (wouldn't go at all at school in Kindergarten and the first part of 1st grade, she only did a couple of times) (during one of those time another child looked in at her) when she was in1st grade I had them put going to the nurse to use the bathroom on her IEP. Even in Kindergarten they had their own bathroom (1 person only in there at a time, she wouldn't go. That has helped. Kianna was diagnosed with ADHD Combined, OCD, ODD Anxiety-NOS, and Sensory issue's. I was recently told by another parent that it could be part of her ODD that is making us tardy in the morning. "It is a power thing" she said. My daughter wears a diaper at night and to poop. If she had it her way she would wear one all the time. She has had accidents also, (not at school) Most of the time she could care less, sitting in a wet or poopy diaper. People have told me to let her run around naked so when she pees (running down leg) she wont like it and she will go to the toilet and go. She doesn't care & she doesnt like to be naked. Until the last 4 to 6 months she always wore something on top and bottom

Now she takes her shirt off sometimes and even her pants but never the panties/ diaper. Funny, because this is about the time my older 2 Neuro typical girls stopped running around naked (8 ish). They are now 25 and will be 20 the end of November. I almost think it is a sensory thing on top of maybe the ODD. No one knows our kids or what it is like for us or them.

Sorry for rambling on bouncing around. You are not alone. Hope this helps a little.

[azulaco in reply to 5Flyingeagle]

We do pull-ups at night. I’m reluctant to do that during daytime, because we’ve worked so hard to get him to the point where his only accidents are during screen time or playground time. Is good to know I’m not alone, though.

[Janice_H]

It sounds like there may be some other issue. The bladder concerns are separate from the ADHD. A doctor specializing in bladder issues may help resolve this concern.

My son has ADHD also and often holds his urine for an extended period until there is extreme urgency. He has never wet the bed, but a couple times he has not made it to the bathroom quickly enough and wet himself a little.

[Cjkchamp]

My son is almost 7 and wet himself at the store because he didn’t want to go and wanted to look at a toy. You are not alone!

[SylvieS]

This has been a really big problem for us with our now 7 year old. If you haven’t already it would be good to discuss with your pediatrician to rule out a medical cause. Constipation is sometimes the culprit. But if your son is like mine, he just holds it too long because he doesn’t want to stop what he is doing. This can lead to a weakening of the muscle for bladder control and even more accidents. The solution to this is to put them on a schedule to go every 2 hours at least so the bladder is never over- full. Not the easiest thing to get a stubborn kiddo to do! Also ours still wore a pull up at night until this summer. We used a bed alarm after he turned 7 which worked miracles but was torture for all of us the first month.

[slsmendez]

This is really common with kids with ADHD, and we even had poop accidents at age 6 as well, but only during periods of hyperfocus at school or home (especially any video games). We tried stool softeners for constipation but they didn’t help as he wasn’t really constipated. We also tried reminders at home to “listen to his body,” and that helped a bit. But what really helped was getting the “Dry Buddy” system for use at night when he was 7. Initially, he wore the special underwear with a wetness detector inside his pull up at night (didn’t wear one during the day since accidents weren’t that common and never enough to require changing pants at school). The alarm went off in our room and vibrates under his sheets at the first sign of wetness. Of course, the first 2 weeks or so were us waking him to get up to pee, and often he was already really wet inside his pull up at first. But after 2 weeks, the alarms got less and less and he’d only have drops of pee before getting up to use the bathroom. This resulted in also no more accidents during the day! It was amazing—somehow it helped him to pay attention to his body more overall. It did take a month to fully train him but it was SO nice to be out of pull ups and not to have to wash wet clothes and sheets and comforters (sometimes he would pee a lot at night even with no water after 7pm). We were able to get a slight discount with a doctor’s prescription but it’s still pretty expensive—I think we ended up buying 5 pair of the underwear and it was $200. But we’ve also saved a lot since then by not needing pull ups anymore! We did have a couple accidents at night here and there since then—especially if his schedule is thrown off by traveling—but overall, he’s done really well and is 8 now.