Schedule

[Dizykrssy]

How do I get my seven year old son on a schedule! He fights with me to go to bed and wake up in the am. How do I make it fun? I just bought a kitchen timer. Is the timer to much or can we make it a game. I myself have ADD

[Watermelon5]

I have a 14 year old and a 12 year old (both probably have ADHD). I would start by just shifting his bedtime schedule slightly (maybe by 15 minutes) and then the next week another slight adjustment, and so on. I wouldn't necessarily focus on what time it is. Kids that age don't care that much about the actual time. My kids love to "snuggle" with me, meaning I lie down next to them and talk (my older one) or very gently "tickle" arms and back (my younger one). You can try rewarding him with something like this, if he gets into bed on time (by the time the timer goes off). Just stay for 15 minutes or so. This is also a great way to connect with your child and sometimes they will let you know about things that are bothering them or other things they feel like telling you. I would start with those 2 things and see if you can gradually shift his bedtime to earlier.

[Dizykrssy in reply to Watermelon5]

Great 💡 idea . The only thing is is that he goes to bed at different times. He is addicted to his Xbox and when I take that away he throws a fit. That's the biggest issue

[Watermelon5 in reply to Dizykrssy]

I don't know if this would work for you, but I would start with the Xbox then and make sure it goes off an hour before you want him to go to bed. There are various ways to turn Wifi off to specific devices and you can put even set times for them to go on and off. We didn't have an Xbox when my son was 7, but I can imagine that being tricky to cut back if he's already used to having it. Again, I would try to do things gradually.

I'm curious -- does he do any sports or physical activity? What is his schedule like after school until bed time? Those might be other things you could tweak to get him on a better schedule that would result in a more regular bedtime and wakeup time.

[Dizykrssy in reply to Watermelon5]

I try to limit his Xbox for one hour after school only. This is hard for me though because I start getting involved in something in the house and let it go over an hour. If I could set up a timer to shut it off that would be terrific. That way he won't get upset with me LOL.he is in sports activities at times. At the moment he is not.also has friends that are neighbors that come over and hang out. I just would like to get him involved in something else except for the Xbox but he is not interested. Ideas?

[Dizykrssy in reply to Dizykrssy]

Doesn't even touch his toys in his room

[Madmarie in reply to Dizykrssy]

Sounds just like my 10yr old son. YouTube, and Xbox. Nerf guns, legos galore in his room, doesn’t touch them. I do take Xbox, and YouTube away if his behavior warrants it. When he knows he’s on the verge of losing his electronics he usually tries to keep his behavior in check. I do a 3 strikes your out approach. I keep a dry erase board on the side of fridge, it has days of the week. 3 red X’s on any given day results, in 24hr. Freeze on electronics. It was hard at first, often times at first he would lose it an additional 24hrs. I will say it’s been a good form of keeping him in check. The timer is such a life saver, I set it in the mornings before school, he sometimes lags in getting himself up and dressed. If he takes too long, and gives me an attitude he will get a X. I also have a green marker for positive things he does. If he has more green checks, then red X’s at the end of the week, he gets to pick where he wants to eat on a Friday night, and usually a trip to Target or Bookstore. I use timer for shower and bed time routines too. It took a very long time to get him on track with these things. Lots of ups and downs. He now takes showers at certain times on school nights. This morning he woke up to his alarm, and got himself dressed, and popped in a poptart for breakfast, before my alarm even went off. Of course not every morning goes this smoothly, but the good out number the bad these days. Every day is a learning lesson, in patience, and discovery of what’s working, and not working. If I could only get his school behavior in check, one day at a time.

[Dizykrssy in reply to Madmarie]

I love that!!

[Dizykrssy in reply to Madmarie]

Thanks for the advice and the motivation

[Watermelon5 in reply to Dizykrssy]

I've used something called "Circle by Disney", which worked well. Currently we use Xfinity for our Wifi, which has an app you can download and control all devices that are using your Wifi. A friend also told me you can search on Google for the modem you are using and often there is an app that controls the modem that you can download and use to control your modem. I'm not very technical, but those are a few ways it can be done. You will have to investigate for your own situation.

[Dizykrssy in reply to Watermelon5]

That is awesome I will check that out. I didn't even know there was such a thing

[Dizykrssy]

Doesn't even touch his toys in his room

[Watermelon5 in reply to Dizykrssy]

I'm not surprised. Seems once kids start to use the Xbox or watch TV/videos, it's just so engrossing they can't stop. Every parent has to figure out what works for their child/family, etc.

If you talk with him about it at a good time (when he's not having a fit), you can let him know that it's not good for children to play for more than X a day and that's why you're going to only let him do that much. I'd also let him know that it's a privilege and take it away when he has not done Y (insert whatever).

[Dizykrssy in reply to Watermelon5]

I have definitely had that conversation with him more than once. He knows that you should not be playing the Xbox as much as he is. I am just going to set a timer on the Xbox and he will have to deal with the limit.

[Watermelon5 in reply to Dizykrssy]

My kids like to know when their time is going to be running out. You could also set your timer, so that he can see how much time he has used and can predict when it is going to turn off. Ease him into it gently, so it doesn't become a battle. Maybe have his Xbox time be while you are making dinner, then you can transition right to dinner when his time is up. Maybe have some special meals he likes, or have a fun dessert once in a while to distract him from his Xbox time being over. Whatever works for you and him . . .

[Dizykrssy in reply to Watermelon5]

That's a good idea. I think I will just let him play in our right when he gets out of school. That way he can let his mind loose a little bit before he works on homework

[Dizykrssy in reply to Watermelon5]

Do you think that if I took him to like the YMCA after school that there will be activities for him and he would be more tired at night

[Madmarie in reply to Dizykrssy]

I can’t say enough about our local YMCA. My son loves to play basketball, and he loves open swim time. I do use these things, mainly in the Winter time, when he can’t get outside time. I use it as a motivator to get his homework done on weekdays. We live around the corner from his school so when it’s warm out he goes up there after homework is done.

[Dizykrssy]

That is awesome I will check that out. I didn't even know there was such a thing

[Dizykrssy]

Do you think that if I took him to like the YMCA after school that there will be activities for him and he would be more tired at night

[Watermelon5 in reply to Dizykrssy]

I'm not sure what they do at your YMCA, but it if he plays with other kids there or has more physical activity, that would tend to make him more tired. And it would also reduce the need to occupy him with Xbox and other electronics. It's worth a try, especially if he likes it and it's not to inconvenient for you.

[Dizykrssy in reply to Watermelon5]

I think I will start it on the weekend. That will tell if there are things for him to do and if it makes him more tired. It would be difficult during the week because I live 45 minutes away from it.he will be joining an afterschool art program soon and I'm hoping that that will help him get his mind off Xbox. I will probably put him in a sport after that as well. What sports are in January/February?

[Dizykrssy]

I think I will start it on the weekend. That will tell if there are things for him to do and if it makes him more tired. It would be difficult during the week because I live 45 minutes away from it.he will be joining an afterschool art program soon and I'm hoping that that will help him get his mind off Xbox. I will probably put him in a sport after that as well. What sports are in January/February?

[Dizykrssy]

That's a good idea. I think I will just let him play in our right when he gets out of school. That way he can let his mind loose a little bit before he works on homework

[Pennywink]

I agree with everything Watermelon5 said.

Getting him in a consistent & early bedtime will be a challenge at first, but definitely worth it. For my 6 year old with ADHD, it really is a make or break factor for us with his behavior - and it takes about a week to get on track when we have a late night.

A kitchen timer is great, especially if he can see the dial turn. My son has zero concept of time, and feels like he just started everything (if he’s interested), so it helps him see that I’m not just being a jerk - his time has passed.

He may throw a fit the first few times you take it away. Just stay calm, don’t give it much attention. And don’t feel like you need to be his activities director. Eventually he’ll figure something out - just don’t let him pick other media. Whenever my son tells me he’s bored, I offer him a variety of chores he can help with.

I also post the day’s schedule on the fridge, at least until it becomes routine, so he can see what my plan is. We also have checklists for the morning & evening routine that he can check off. For the morning, I also drew w/ wet erase marker in an analog clock face to mark when things need done by. If he’s ready early, he gets a mark of his chore chart (if he gets 10 marks for the week, he gets to pick a reward coupon.)

And, like Watermelon said, I also recommend a longer bed routine. We give my son an hour. He gets ready while I put his little sister to bed (at first that took some managing), then I come to his room & read and talk to him. He LOVES this one on one time, and it really is when he opens up the most about school / what’s going on. Though keep an eye on the clock - cuz he does like to draw out the discussion past his bedtime. When there’s @ 5-10 mins til bed, we do lullaby & prayers & hug/kiss goodnight.

[hope111]

The time timer on Amazon is perfect for this because kids see the time count down. Makes a big difference for timing anything with limits like screen time, once you set expectations (like they are not to add time!). My kids now use it to time themselves for their limited screen time, but it took a while to get to this.

[Dizykrssy in reply to hope111]

hope is the time timer on Amazon an app or something that you need to purchase and sync to the TV

[Pennywink in reply to Dizykrssy]

We also love the Time Timer, though it is pricey. There is an app, though I’m not sure about it interfacing with the tv. It’s nit going to turn the electronics off for you or anything (that I know of.) It just adds a red surface to the amount of time that is left, so it’s even easier to see the time passing.

A family member who is a psychologist gave it to us & said she recommends them quite often in her practice.

[hope111]

Hi it’s a timer you can buy on amazon and use at home, like a kitchen timer but it counts down visually for kids. I recommend the black one with a handle that counts 60min.

[hope111]

Ps: the time timer doesn’t shut off the technology, you still would need to do that manually, but it shows them their time counting down and makes it that the timer is saying when it is done instead of you as the parent, which sounds small but seems to make a big difference

[Dizykrssy in reply to hope111]

Gotcha !is there a timer that will shut up off the Xbox and tv

[Pennywink in reply to Dizykrssy]

I don’t have any experience (yet) with that, but I believe there are discussions elsewhere on the forum, or hopefully those members can jump in here.

I think I remember Disney Circle mentioned. But once again, I don’t know a whole lot about it.

[Eliza76 in reply to Dizykrssy]

If you set up a Microsoft account, you can set up family accounts for your XBox. From there you can set up screen time limits for your XBox. It can be per child, for a certain time of day, each day can be it’s own time... The XBox tells the player how much time is left (I think they only do it once though.) Sometimes we have had to take the XBox time away and for that we’ve blocked the days. And then there are time where we’ve just had to unplug the machine and put it “away.” I will say this: my child hates these time limits but without them it is very hard to get him off the machine, especially with a FortNite type game. He also gets mad if I have forgotten to take the time limits off when he is allowed to play. But is frustration tolerance is one of the things we are constantly working on with him. Hope this helps!