I am very exhausted. I do not know what to do or where to start. My son was diagnosed with ADHD since Kindergarten. He had lots of behavioral issues back then. he is now 7 and was a little better with his behavior until this week. Yesterday, he said he had a gun in his backpack. Just so everyone knows my son is a very immature tiny litlle boy. he is very kind and well mannered until yesterday when he said that in school I was not expecting it. Every time I call his attention he says he is trying to make people laugh (calling attention -like in attention deficit). Today he threw milk on a girl. He has consequences in school this whole week in school and at home. I am so stressed I have a migraine right now, I have cried so much because to make matters worst he said to me he has a good and a bad side to the school principal. I am like "where is my sweet little kid??" I am very concerned, lost and overwhelmed. I feel like I am a terrible mom that does not know how to discipline her son and educate him. I wonder whats going on in school and in his mind. I feel horrible, i have cried all day. I feel that I can't breathe of all the trouble now and in the past. Someone please help. is it normal for him to act out and for me to be like this?
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DesperateEsteroMOM
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Welcome to the group! Also welcome to the journey of ADHD. There are many highs and lows.on this journey. School is a challange for many children.
As we have said in the past, there are 3 main important tools to help children with ADHD be successful.
The first is thearpy which gives them a space to work out issues.
The second is an educational plan (504 or IEP) to assist with the many academic and social issues that come up.
The last is medication, which our family started right after the diagnosis and have never looked back. I recently heard an adult describe this tool as " my brain is foggy until medication which is like a leaf blower, which allows me to think clearly. People often also say family education helps. I know this is a lot, I was there.
I would recommend thearpy while you set up the educational plan.
I hope this helps. Many of us have been where you are and we all push on and it gets better in some parts of the journey and harder in other.
I will try meds. I used to be in denial. he has an IEP but I feel sometimes they just want to kick him out. He also had a bullying incident where he was the victim, 8 stitches, I called an attorney and I feel they want him out of school.
Like others have said a child psychiatrist is the best person to assist you with getting him balanced on the right medication. It will change his life. The great thing about medication is that most are short acting so they do not stay in his system long term.
When the type, dose and timing are all dialed in this life will be so much easier and his behavior issues will decrease (it doesnt take all of them away).
Our son is doing so well becuase the medication helps calm his thoughts and helps him focus.
Also you will know quickly if it works.
One last suggestion ( I wish I had this when starting out) check out the Podcast " parenting ADHD" she is a mom who discusses her experiences and she has lots of guest speakers. I have really learned a lot from Penny William.
I am sorry you are having a difficult time. I have a 9yo daughter with adhd and some days are very difficult. I agree with the previous post, get a 504 plan or iep at school. Medication has been extremely helpful for my daughter. Also, we did not find the correct medication. Until we saw a child psychiatrist. We are now considering family counseling to help with the stress adhd causes at home. Also, adhd kids are usually 3 years behind their peers in maturity level. It's an ongoing struggle but you can get through it. For us, we have good days and bad days and i have learned to be be grateful for the good days and just survive the bad days. Additudemag.com is a great resource for adhd information. Hang in there.
he has an IEP but sometimes school does not understand. He is starting therapy this week. I am so afraid he gets kicked out of school.Thanks so much for all the advice
I’m sorry to hear everything. Please try to get on IEP or 504 plan at school. Medication can help but agree with comment you may need to go to psychiatrist to get one that works.
he has an IEP but sometimes school does not understand. He is starting therapy this week. I am so afraid he gets kicked out of school.Thanks for the support
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I have been there with behavior issues and my son. I know you said he has an IEP. Has the school done a Functional Behavior Assessment? Is he in public school? My county has a special Ed parent advocate and a local SECAC(Spec Ed Citizen Advisory Committee) group. You should check your school system and county.
I'm not sure how FBA and BIP work with an IEP. My son has a 504 and BIP.
An FBA is when the school does an assessment of the behaviors to try to identify the causes of the behavior and then implement a plan(BIP Behavior Intervention Plan) to address the behavior with goals. It could probably be written in to the IEP.
My son also has what is called a Check in / check out everyday with school counselor team.
I have same fears about my son being kicked out of school. It is very stressful. My son is 14 and dealing with diagnosis for a number of years. I hope therapy helps!
Hugs to you! I know exactly how you feel. Three of our children have ADHD. Our 10 yr old son has a mild case, natural supplements work great for him. Our 8 yr old daughter has a moderate case...she responded beautifully to natural supplements and Ritalin. It is so amazing to see the before and after difference in her behaviors and school lessons, since she is on meds! Our 7 yr old son has a severe case, and we are still riding the roller coaster with him...sigh! He has had negative reaction to numerous meds, finding the right med and dosage is proving to be a real mystery! Although, natural supplements are helping a lot while we keep searching. We have had good success with these supplements,
"Calm n Cool" (which is a Magnesium w/ Gaba); "Spectrum Needs" (which is a broad spectrum micronutrient) and "L-Theanine". Recently we have been trying Phosphatidyl Serine with our 7 yr old and that seems to be another good natural. I will second the advice to get a good psychiatrist on board, I would be totally lost without the expertise and advice of our psychiatrist! Our children were all diagnosed less than a year ago so we are still on the learning journey, but one thing I am starting to see is, it seems ADHD children kind of go through a cycle...we have a couple weeks of good days and about when I breathe a sigh of relief, all of a sudden we are in the thick of bad behaviors! And yes you just struggle to get one foot in front of the next on those days and tears like rain clouds are normal and then the sun breaks through and you have a beautiful rainbow and you're back to better days again. I know some people will think I am weird, but we definitely see horrible behaviors around full moon! Anyone else ever see this?
You are a wonderful mom and you are doing your very best. My son was diagnosed when he was 8 years old. We did therapy, medication, 504 at school. I blamed myself for being terrible mom and not knowing how to help my son. I ended up with anxiety and medication for myself.
It was long and difficult process but we are better now. Please take care of yourself, so you have energy to help your child. If you feel overwhelmed, talk to someone or get professional help.
You son is not a bad kid. He does this for attention, either good or bad. Positive reinforcement is crucial.
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