How do you ensure that you (as a pare... - CHADD's ADHD Pare...

CHADD's ADHD Parents Together

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How do you ensure that you (as a parent) are coping/have time for yourself?


How do you make sure that you balance your own personal life with parenting?

How do you make time for yourself while looking after your child?

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14 Replies

For me I don't feel it impacts my personal life as I have aspergers and don't go out anyway. Our home life is pretty great most of my kids are also on the spectrum and they prefer staying in and not mixing with others . My son also sleeps he's one of the kids that do thank god . But honestly we don't argue about him me and his father my husband have a great relationship and our home life is really good. We no different to anyone else having kids who argue it don't get on now and then that's life lol

We have a time to ourselves at least once a month. I worked part time before my current contract ran out so I'm lucky I have time to myself during the day.

I am pretty much housebound due to fibromyalgia,Rhuematoid/osteo arthritis and constantly sedated from pain and anxiety/depression meds so we're always together,when we moved to the bungalow 3-1/2 years ago I wasn't as bad as I am now and he had chosen his space (bedroom) so I sent him on a family holiday with his Nan and rest of family while I stayed home and kitted his bedroom out,he loved it and still does,we both have our own space and it works better that way too.

As previously mentioned,we try to go away on a " bonding " holiday as often as possible too.

I think the answer is, very badly. We don't go out a lot, and aren't very good at making space for ourselves otherwise. Because of our son's complex needs it is hard to get babysitting, so we have an evening out only two or three times a year. We are lucky in that we both work mostly from home and in flexible jobs, so during school time we can take a nap or have lunch out if we need to. But then that time taken out means evening working to make up. We do both have fairly frequent work trips, which does give a break. But overall, it's really hard.

Going back to work has made a big difference for me, I spent over six years at home with the kids and went back last year. I did put my daughter into nursery two days per week despite being home - I wasn't coping with the melt downs and lack of sleep, it helped a lot. I manage to get out with friends every so often as I can leave my husband to manage the kids. Our marriage has definitely been placed on the back burner which isn't ideal, although now the kids are older they can stay with relatives for longer periods. Lowering my standards for house work is a necessity sadly, especially as my husband has ADHD too - he finds it almost physically painful to do anything he finds boring. We probably should pay for help more such as cleaners and for odd jobs in the house.

It is becoming increasingly difficult. This question is related to yesterday's question. Friends and family are less and less likely to take my children for a weekend, an evening or an hour. School is excluding my son more and more, and now he's limited to two or three hours a day at school. So I don't have much time to myself, let alone the opportunity to spend time with my husband. The kids are getting older and going to bed later. Yes they are more independent, and they will entertain themselves on minecraft or computer. But I don't have much me time. Nor does my husband who is working full time and coming home to demanding children. So, there isn't a balance.

It's very hard to get time to myself tbh. However this is really not to do with A's ADHD, more a combination of working pretty full-time part-time and having 3 other offspring. When A was younger, it was difficult get time to myself as due to his destructive tendencies, people weren't queuing up to look after him.Any spare time is spent chasing around trying to catch up on housework-if I won the lottery, help around the house would be high on the agenda

Basically you don't having a child like this is all consuming you have no life I worked full time I had complaints from neighbours the police where never away from my door I had the school ringing me at least twice a week it was a living hell to be honest it ruined my life

Because I have ADHD and my daughter isn't that bad, I found that encouraging lots and lots of sports was the answer for all of us. As she got older she learned that if she wasn't sleeping, she could read and didn't have to bother us. I tried to go out late if we were going out at night so that she was sleepy or in bed.

Personal life should be balanced out between ensuring the needs of yourself and making sure that others are cared for, especially your child, I find that it is about making a group of people who are aware of the needs. If you have a good family network and people to support you then you always have someone to turn to.

I wish I had an answer and would love any suggestions especially with my son's dad living out of state and limited family support. I was thinking of joining a family health center where they have a child care AND kids classes. My only concern is those working in the child center working with my son and having at least 30-60 minutes to have not only me time but being able to work towards better health!

I run when he is at school and the little one is at nursery. It's harder during the school

holidays but I try to run when hubby is off work or I take them with me and they play in the park while the dog and I run around and around and around. I find exercise helps to calm me and therefore helps me cope with him.

I go to yoga on good weeks and don't beat my self up when I miss. I wish I had more exercise and read. ButnI know these will come when I retire. Now it's time to focus on our child. In 5 years he will be on his own creating this own life and that will be our time to enjoy a more well balanced life.

I don't and having read these suggestions, honestly, don't know how I'd have energy to coordinate or schedule. I work full-time/more than full-time. My husband works 30 hours weekly. By the time I get home, I'm exhausted and oftentimes the kids go into a tailspin in the evenings so we have to be on top of them to get anything done. Waking up early is a no-go because my son is an early riser so there is no alone time there and my daughter is a night owl so no alone time there. I feel like perhaps when the kids are older, I might be able to refocus my attention on myself but until then my only way of coping is escapism through TV and bad habits.

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