Newbie on here.....

[JLeanneD]

This is my first time posting on here. I have been a member and been reading all of the different posts for a few weeks now. My son is 6.5, will be 7 in August. He has been on medication for the past year and a half. They started him out on methaphinate which worked so good. Then the insurance didn't cover that and forced us to change to brand name Concerta. The concerta didn't work at all. It was as if he was taking sugar pills. We finally got changed over to vyvanse and that seemed to work for about a year. This past January I had to take my son to a mental hospital for a few days. He was out of control, trying to hurt himself constantly and the part that scared me the most was that he started a fire in our house and then walked out of the room like nothing happened. Thankfully my mother in law was there that morning and smelled the smoke and was able to put it out before it spread. That day and the 4 days that followed were the hardest days of my life. It broke my heart to take him there, but I didn't know what else to do. Between my husband and I we have 5 kids and that morning 4 of them were there at the house. I was terrified of what could happen to our family if we didn't get him the help that he needed. While he was there they introduced him to Intuniv as a booster to the vyvanse. That worked for about 6 weeks. Simce then he has started acting like its "his world", what he wants he gets right then or all hells about to break loose. We have started seeing a new doctor since January, she is an actual child psychologist. She has recently added risperidone for a mood balancer. That is where we are at right now, my son leaves tomorrow to go to his dad's house for the summer. That in itself scares me. His dad has been the one to tell me that there is nothing wrong with him and that he doesn't need medication. So I stopped telling him everything.... all he knows is that our son goes to the doctor once a month and he is on medicine. But I'm terrified that when my son starts acting out like normal, how his dad and stepmom are going to react to it. They only see him twice a year... summers and then every other Christmas or Thanksgiving.... last summer his dad begged me to send him the vyvanse. But that was before he started truly acting out. Any advice would be wonderful. I keep feeling like a horrible mother because I took him to that place and left him and I can't seem to help him.....

[gdrogosch]

Hi there,

My heart breaks for you. I can't imagine having to deal with all of that and having to go to a mental hospital for my son. But, if it's what he needed to get better balanced, then you have to do it. Especially if you tried other arenas.

As far as him going to your ex's for the summer, I think the best thing you should do is have an open conversation with him about everything that has transpired. You can't have any progress that your son's made reversed by your ex's lack of knowledge on the situations you've had to deal with. Maybe even setting up a meeting with his psychologist would be good as that can make it more real.

If he doesn't want to participate in the treatment that he needs, that's a concerning issue.

Good luck and God Bless!

[Jackandkitten]

My heart just broke reading that and all I want to do is reach out with a gigantic hug for you and your family. I am sorry that your son has gone through so much and that you are feeling like you aren't doing the right things. I want to tell you that you are. And it took a lot of gumption to take him where he needed to be to be safe. I know it's hard to not second guess yourself, but please don't.

As far as your son's father goes, be open with him. It's his choice to listen or not, but by being open, you can at least bring him up to speed on what to expect so he is not surprised. What he chooses to do with the information is up to him. And I agree with getting your psychologist involved with that conversation as well. Maybe Dad will be more open to hearing it from the dr versus you. Either way, you are doing the best you can.

Hugs to you and reach out if you need to talk.

[anirush]

Wow what a tough situation. You think his dad will keep him on the medication for the summer? Risperidone really helped my grandson control his anger, it's the only thing that worked. He takes Strattera with it

[JLeanneD]

Honestly I'm not sure if he will continue to give him his medication. I tried talking to him about everything that has gone on just since January and he just looked at me like I had 3 heads and told me that there was no way that our son did any of that and that he would never do that with him. He made it out like I couldn't control him. It is so frustrating. My son was crying because he didn't want to leave yesterday and he said he didn't want to stay out there the entire time. It just broke my heart.

[Mrscruz1917 in reply to JLeanneD]

My heart def feels for you. Very tough situation. It might be tough for his father but the most important thing is your son. Send him with meds and an open line of communication IN CASE he has a situation he realizes he needs to consult with you about. I encourage you to watch ‘A dangerous Son’ on HBO if you can. It’s just because so many of us feel the way you do having to do things ‘to’ and for our children we would never believed we would ever do. It’s for their safety and the safety of the other children we have. Try and remember that there is a real mental illness. He’s not a bad boy, he is probably a sweetheart when he wants to be. Something in the brain isn’t during right or levels of hormones are off. Keep doing all you can for your boy and yourself! Praying for you. Keep posting and reaching out also. You’re not alone.