Suspension # 3

[Grandma01]

Good morning family. I'm back trying to understand why my grandson is acting up in school. Suspension # 3 has come in one school year and just a week before school is out for the summer. They say he was doing his usual tricks of climbing the walls and tables and turning over chairs. Until recently we went from months of no incidents just after christmas break til now. I thought the baby behaviors were all behind us once we got him a weighted vest. He was calm cool and collected now something has changed.

He complains that the vest is too tight and the school sent the vest home the other day. I also thought the new IEP created in February was designed to off set these issues.

Now we will be entering second grade with ew challenges and baby like behavior coming unexpectedly, and we'll go through our routine of no activities, no tv or other media, and talking to over and over about what happened. It doesn't phase him at all. He won't talk about what happened that got him sent to the principle and a trip home for a couple days.

Next year I'm going to try something few parents do, I'm going to go to school with him or ask that he can stay at school and I will be with him during his suspension at school. I don't know how that would work exactly but it looks and sound great to me. 🙄🙃

[Onthemove1971]

I am confused.. Was this at recess? Where was the supervision? This sounds like a two way street. I have read your post before and I think he struggled to take his medication.

I am wondering if the school has a reward system in place? If he goes so many days or hours without being in trouble he earns XXX?

Is the school helping with behavior/emotional support?

I agree with you sitting at home for the suspension is not helpful. I would find an adult male at school that he connects well with and see if they can help.

I would find out what he likes at school and try to reward him. The talking and talking doesn't do any good.

The good news is school is almost out, the bad news is Aug. Will. Come soon and it sounds like things need to be in place for him.

[Grandma01 in reply to Onthemove1971]

You asked al it if questions and stated the same thing I've been thinking myself. Males in general classroom setting us very rare. Most are music or gym teachers.

No reward system that I know if and he doesn't like school at all and doesn't like to talk about any if the things that go there from lunch, gym or music. Something tells me he might line history or at least he found something interesting in the History of Egypt. On occasion we have n outing and he makes reference to the pyramids. Yes I believe that making more pop ups at the school is great idea and follow him through his routing then maybe I instant better what he needs to be supported or get his work done.

Thank for sharing your thoughts with me.

[Aniusia]

Maybe his meds are too strong ? It happened to my son. First he was fine, better, and then everything got a lot worse. We did the genetic tests that showed he is slow metabolizer . The meds gave opposite effect.

[Grandma01 in reply to Aniusia]

Thank for you reply. He is not in meds and we are awaiting to get him into therapy of some sort soon!! 😍

[abryans]

I agree that the school needs to "catch him being good" and recognize and encourage him for the behavior they want rather than punishing him. This needs to happen a lot. It should be part of his IEP. A guy his age who is active and impulsive needs that kind of support frequently. I asked my second grade son's school to give him a special job. He keeps the book shelves in order for his teacher. This is a way he can be out of his seat and get recognition from his teacher. He feels needed and it is good for his peers to see he is not always in trouble. Kids with ADHD are at risk of being seen as "bad" kids, and if they start to see themselves this way, it is catastrophic. Suspension is not an effective way to help children learn better skills. Natural consequences for problem behavior are much more appropriate. For example, he could wash any footprints off the wall, or make sure the chairs in the cafeteria are all pushed into the table.

Finally, what makes your grandson amazing? Every child has gifts and, even when I am gritting my teeth, I find that reminding my son and myself of his gifts- his incredible memory, imagination, cool ideas, physical abilities, hard work, generosity, baby whisperer, etc. works better than anything else I do.

[Grandma01 in reply to abryans]

Thank you so much for your positive feedback. I will write this down see what we can do for next year. His next IEP meeting isn't intil February or March of 2019.

Or maybe it's started already, I'm in charge of staying with him during the end if school year picnic... that's my only job. Keeping up with him. (funny 😋)

[Onthemove1971 in reply to Grandma01]

You can change an IEP any time you need to. Please do not wait if he need the change push for it.

[Grandma01 in reply to Onthemove1971]

I will. I'll be trying to look at some of his behaviors and see what needs to be done, although being outside of the school setting will not give me many clues. But I plan to be at the school and letting it be known that I will be there and putting idea of suspension at school for next year.

Thanks for the support!!! 🖕

[WendyKirkpatrick]

My son is 30 now. We had to fight the school district on meds because they made our son so sick to his stomach. If you limit carbs and sugars and try Vitamin B, it can't hurt and may help with the behavior. Doctors and therapists usually just want you to give them the medication. I have no problem with a small amount of medication combined with special education assistance and behavior modification, but we felt like we were being handled by drug pushers. We found that the best solution was to read books on behavior modification techniques and warmly reward them for the good things that they do. These kids get so little positive reinforcement, only complaints about their behavior. There is a response from an individual at this site with detailed information on medications and vitamins that could help enormously and this person has the condition. I have a book on createspace.com and Amazon.com called "I have ADD and I'm Proud to Be Me." Please don't think I'm hawking a book. My profit is about $2.00 per book so I won't go on a cruise if you buy one on line. I wrote it from the perspective of a young boy with A.D.H.D. (like my son) since I never was able to find a book that presented the issue from the CHILD's perspective. I found that if you can walk in another person's shoes, you will somehow know what is right for your child of any age. You know your child better than anyone else and your love and support and special techniques will help in time. It is an uphill battle and very slow, but have faith. My biggest heartbreak was his problem making friends. Kids without any condition can be cruel and so can their parents. I wish you and your family the best of luck, and write any time. Wendy

[Grandma01]

Thanks