Happy to find other mother's...

[virgo02]

Hello, my name is Melissa Kelly. I'm a 44 year old house wife. I have an 18 year old daughter who had hyperactivity and ODD (She's fine now..Thank God!) and I have an 11 year old son who was diagnosed with ADHD & ODD when he was 5. I can't tell you how happy it makes me to have found this website! You always feel ALONE until you find someone or others that are going through the same situation as you are. My son was a quiet little toddler, very sweet. He hardly ever spoke and when he did, it was soft. He was very serious at times. I said to my husband once "Thank God I have one child that is quiet!". Well, that lasted until kindergarten and then he just slowly changed 😔 I have had so many problems with his attitude and the way he treats me in the last 6 years. My husband's always working and when he's home, he's working outside. I have no friends and I stay at home all the time. I can't take him anywhere unless he's on his meds. He makes duck noises all the time, he's hard to deal with in the mornings before school. He's basically become a nightmare. This will seem mean and heartless but the only time I can relax or not stress is when he's on his meds 😔 I literally can't take him any were without them. It took me 6 months of deciding to put him on them when he was a little boy to thanking God that he has them every day, 6 years later. When he's on his Medicine, he's an angel and I honestly believe this is how he would have been if he hadn't gotten ADHD. Please don't hate me 😔 Sorry this is long and thank you for reading this.

[Nahnah85]

Trust me. Nobody in this group is going to hate you. Lol we have no right to judge. I felt and still sometimes feel the same way. Adhd kids are more than a handful. There are days were I just sit down and cry after my son is in bed because he stresses me out so bad. He will be 10 this month. I never imagined I would have a child that is as difficult as he is. This is not at all how I imagined being a mother. I wish I had some better advice, but I'm in the same boat just hanging on for dear life.

[virgo02 in reply to Nahnah85]

Thank you. You say the same things I do. I never dreamed about having a kid like this. I just wanted kids, ya know? Never in a million years did I ever think my son would get this. I didn't even know it existed.

[mellymurraykids]

Hi Melissa - welcome to the group. I’m Wendy and my oldest son is 10. I don’t post often but your post really resonated with me.

My son currently says “I like turtles” about 40 times a day and is obsessed with jeeps. It can be so maddening when you just want them to do something (homework) and you get back “I like turtles” as an answer.

My relationship with him has really struggled the past 6 months because of his attitude (and mine as well I’m sure). There are many nights I can’t wait for his bedtime so I can be done with the evening. Somethings got to change.

I work from home and my husband is like yours - either at work or working on house projects. It can feel really lonely sometimes.

Hang in there!

[Pajamasam36]

Good morning! From the comments you received it sounds like you have a lot of people who relate to your sons behaviors.

My son is 14 his behaviors have been and still are very very similar to your sons.

He has the ODD that commonly attends severe ADHD as well. He not only wind to what I ask him but his attitude is the same for teachers in school and at church/scouts. He use to use sounds of animals and repeat things from tv and music. His new echolalia is swearing. He has been suspended so many times from school that they now provide him IEP services at the library when he gets suspended.

The school is very selective about his suspensions now because the law says after 10 suspensions in a year services have to be provided for the child with an IEP.

Our attorneys are filing a state complaint against the school on our behalf. We had to do this last year as well. We are hoping this won’t happen at a new school.

We are off to a new academy next year.

As our son Gets older and after many many different forms of behavior intervention therapy we are feeling he is starting to mature.

He was adopted at 3 days old. We met up with his birth mom last month. She said she was just like this as a child. She said any thing that was forbidden is what she liked. She never graduated from high school so we are going to do everything we can to beat our sons odds and get him a high school degree.

I know the lonelyness youspeak of. I use my faith to fill this voids attending church, the temple and reading my scripture has been my saving grace. The only place I find validation is on this web site.

It would be so nice to have a friend that understand and that I could talk to in person but this site is second best to that. I feel the pain of so many people that can relate to my pain I have with my son. I had no idea there were different nanny kiddos like mine in the world! It is quite a shock to hear similar stories to my own.

I am glad it shared your story. I hope you will continue to share for my sake!

Regards from Tired mother mary

[Vuolo]

Hello, I have a son who is 12 he knew something was wrong when he was 5. He said his brain works different the. Other kids. He has adhd He repeated kindergarten. He was put on meds and his behavior totally changed. He was on meds till second grade but he developed tics and I didn’t like that he was zombie like. When we took him off his grades went down a little bit he still did well. Now he is puberty and in 5 th and it’s been hard he got into a couple fights and calls out and can’t sit still in class. I think puberty is not helping. I have been reading a lot of books and researching things. I have been now using oils and put him on vitamins and just ordered a probiotic. I got a diffusion for his room and been using certain oils. This has helped. I’m trying to change my approach on things. He is interested in the oils which is great. I have researched vitamins as well and kids with adhd probably lack certain vitamins. So looking into that would prob help,I just started doing that. I just read n interesting book that I highly recommend it’s called finally focused by James greenblatt. So interesting he talks about how most kids have a magnesium decency and lack other vitamins . The gut is a huge part of it as well because it’s the gut brain connection.i feel if you take it one step at a time it will get easier. We are in control of our children and we can do this.

[Lovelanguage in reply to Vuolo]

This is from 3 years ago but do you mind me asking how the supplements worked for your child from the book “finally focused”. I’m ordering all the products recommended and having blood and hair tests on the ones that need to be tested for first. My son is 12 yo and takes 30mg Vyvanse. I’m hoping the supplements will help with the morning, evening and all the other side affects of the meds. My dream would be to be able to lower the dose or the meds through balancing his brain through the authors suggestions. Please don’t respond If your busy. Just wondering if you followed the book and it helped. Best regards, Kira

[MomOfAMermaid]

I. Can. Relate. Once my daughter was diagnosed, we tried EVERYTHING but meds for a year. I needed that painful year so I can now be grateful for the support that her meds give to her and how the meds expand our life. I can now take her and go to a friend's house and not be constantly on her. She can easily play with other kids or she can entertain herself. We follow the same routine daily - including her taking meds. I want her to feel happy with that she can do and experience her own genius and beauty. I appreciate this group and I have also started advocating in my community for parent support groups - NOT groups that costs or are billed to insurance because this would limit who can participant. I wish you and your family lots of awesomeness!

[ZosMom]

Ditto to everything! Lol. At first I was lax about giving my son his medicine on the weekends but now I’ve caught myself saying, “we need to take your meds” on a more regular basis. I don’t want him to feel like I only want to be around him when he’s medicated but it’s partially true. I feel guilty even just writing that. Even now, I just dropped him off at school and I’m sitting in the car trying to calm down after a morning of madness. Being a mom is hard. Having a child with adhd feels impossible some days.

[virgo02 in reply to ZosMom]

I definitely know how mornings are and i definitely know how YOU feel. I can relate to having bad mornings as well. It sucks when we have bad mornings and I can't wait to get him to school so I can relax. That guilt you feel is the same as I feel too. I would say that most mornings are bad but every now and then his meds will kick in early and we have good mornings. He's difficult all the time, about everything and now he gives me the "OK OK" tone so I'll stop telling him what's going wrong with what we are doing in the moment. I'm a talker, I like to talk about and explain what is going wrong and how we can improve it and unfortunately, it's going to start biting me in the arse as he gets older. He's a good boy. Please don't get me wrong. He has my heart and my over the top sensitivity but this ADHD/ODD has changed him a lot 😕

We actually had a decent morning. Hope yours went better too *Hugs*

[ZosMom]

I get the "ok ok" tone as well from my son. But usually what I say goes in one ear and out the other. He's also developed a habit of correcting everything I say. If I say the sky is blue, he'll say "actually it's gray today because it's cloudy" or absolutely anything he can think of to push back at me. I'm glad your morning went well, I'm feeling better after sharing on here Hugs to you too and gold stars to us for doing what we do everyday.