I'm in need of advice

[Evnj0913]

I have a 4 year old he is super hyperactive my 8 year old has odd, adhd, and separation anxiety and she behaves better than he does. He doesn't listen to me at all, he has these terrible melt downs when he has to do something he doesn't want to do and he screams at the top of his lungs. He tries to bite and hit whenever he's gets into trouble I feel so lost with him. The only time he's quiet and content is when he's on the Xbox one but I don't like him being on it so much I would appreciate any advice!

[Jenngrrl75]

Hey there! I’m new here I have a son who has just turned 4 and dx with adhd. A lot of his behaviors sound just like your 4 year old’s. I pick my battles and like your son mine is only content when watching the kindle. When he has a meltdown I just try to protect him from himself and protect me from him. Kicking, hitting, spitting, biting, pushing, screaming at the top of his lungs, crying, pinching/grabbing, and throwing himself down when redirected is a daily activity. Sometimes I swat his fanny to get his attention but that doesn’t seem to do anything. I just want you to know you’re not alone. It’s very depressing because I find myself limiting our activities as a family and his activities because I anticipate a meltdown. Going out to eat is a nightmare most of the time, we have never really had play dates and he’s been kicked out of day care because of his aggressiveness. I’m looking into a special ed pre k and we’re starting on some Rx next week following the psychiatrists appointment.

[MC5152 in reply to Jenngrrl75]

Hi there, I have been told my 4yr old son is too young to diagnose with ADD or ADHD. I know he has one or the other. We went to his primary to discuss his sleeplessness. He is up every two hours all night since birth and it's wearing on the whole family. I don't know how he can function with very little sleep and he's up at 4am for the day, everyday! We all are. He is hyperactive and displaying all the same you mention above, hitting, screaming on the top of his lungs all hours of the day/night inside and outside of the house. It's hard to take him anywhere. We definitely can't go out to eat in a restaurant. His primary mentioned a medication after seeing how he acted in her office but said she's never prescribed to a child his age and didn't feel comfortable doing so. She was going to talk it over with a child psychiatrist but I never heard back from her. We need help! All we got out of that appointment was a referral to a sleep specialist and we will see them at the end of June.

[reg2018]

I have three boys with ADHD and they are all different with their symptoms. One of my boys would very much like it if we just let him do whatever he wants and in the past he has temper tantrumed when he's been interrupted and required to do jobs and has had to stop playing video games.

It's true that you pick your battles, but at the same time there can be the temptation to not battle this kind of child at all because the battles are so fierce. And if we don't take these battles on then we're doing our child a disservice by not teaching him or her how to live in the real world. They won't get their way all the time and they need to learn how to stop what they are doing and do other things. They can't play unlimited amounts of video games and not do chores, homework, etc. And they have to learn how to regulate their emotions in the process of dealing with these interruptions of their schedule.

I do tokens and timers with my kids for video games. They have five tokens per day and each token is worth 20 minutes of video game time. If they are getting frustrated while playing or not talking/acting properly while playing, they get kicked off the video games. Games are a privilege, not a given.

It's a long haul, dealing with the emotionality of a child with ADHD—teaching them to learn how to deal with their emotions. And a four year old is just at the very beginning of this journey. Baby steps. Know that it's possible though. Good luck!