Mom at her wit's end needing some advice - CHADD's ADHD Pare...

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Mom at her wit's end needing some advice


Hello I have a nine-year-old son who is mentally 4 he has ADHD ,post-traumatic stress disorder , odd I'm needing some advice any advice he came home you staying with a friend why he was out there he pour chocolate milk down a 32in TV and she's also stated that he throws things when he gets mad or is told no here .at home he has twin brother and a sister that are too that he don't really want to interact unless I am home does childish things that he should know better that he he's not supposed to do in the house I'm needing any advice on punishment because if I send them to the corner he cries he throws a fit he don't want to do anything he plays same toys over and over and over again and he's he is very hard to deal with and I love my son don't get me wrong but I have four other children which two are my stepsons that I need to spend time with two and it's making a hard on my marriage trying to deal with him is there any advice out there please keep your comments at least nicely I'm trying to get help for my son

11 Replies

Mairr18 being a parent is such a hard job.. What kind of services are you getting for him? Are you getting behavior therapy for him? Does he any Specialist to help you?

What can you do for yourself? Friends movies, shopping?

I have a 14 year old that sometimes acts worse than our 3 year old granddaughter. He takes adderall (when he doesn't drop it down the sink) I don't really think it helps. So hard to discipline them my son doesn't like anything but video games and writing sentences. Every day is a challenge. We have started counseling for him but I don't have much hope sometimes it's just nice to know other people have the same problem- I do have advice for you- my child is my grandson from my bipolar daughter so this is my second time around yay me!!! Make your marriage a priority I know it's hard but somehow my husband didn't leave me while dealing with our daughter and now we're dealing with our grandson. Try to step back and don't let them consume your family.


I have a 12 year old son diagnosed with ADHD/ODD. It has been horrible but now even worse since he is going through puberty. So mouthy.... We cant even try and talk to him without him flipping out or yelling. He doesn't even give us time! I had to call my neighbor guy over the other day because he was so out of control and my husband wasn't home. My son takes 36mg of Concerta and Lamictal every am but I did find that his concerta wears off around noonish so if I give him a booster regular short acting Ritalin he is MUCH better when I get off work. Still NOT 100% but I will take whatever I can get. And yes, anout making your husband your priority, we argue ALOT! a lot of it has to do with he doesn't know how to handle him. He CANT just walk in the dorr and start barking orders at our son because it sets him off! There are times I just want to leave it all and go to a dark room.... Did your daughter ever get better? Like grow out of some of it?

No she never did- she had our grandson 14 years ago and left shortly after she thought it was funny to lie to dr so she was never able to get meds right. We have not seen or heard from her in 12 years and sadly it was a relief. It is so hard when nothing seems to get through to them. Sometimes I find it better to just grab a coffee go outside. Because of our work schedules my husband I only see each other weekends so we make time each day to just sit outside and talk(not about him).

How did you know she was bi polar? My son is short tempered but even worse while coming down off the meds in the afternoon. Dr. Thought Lamictal (mood stabilizer) would help him but I don't see a change AT ALL... So is it the medication or is it really bi polar? IDK this sucks and is so confusing to me. But why put my son on another medication because the ADHD medication is causing worse mood symptoms.... UGH

Yea that was frustrating. Our daughter was admitted to the institute of living and that's where she was diagnosed. But like I said by then she was 21 and liked lying to the Dr so we had that to. You literally had to walk on eggshells around her. I ended up spending more than $30,000 thinking that would make her happy well we know that didn't work. Lol! Our grandson takes adderall and I wonder if that's best for him. It used to help but not much anymore. Although Dr says some self control is necessary.

I feel so sad for you, it must be so difficult when you have other children as well. My son was an only child so i was able to focus on him but punishment just did not work for me. I tried the other way, praising him for even small achievments. Brushed his teeth - wonderfull , washed his face - amazing. Sounds mad but it worked for me. You so obviously love him but do you have any support? You need professional help from somewhere. Can social services give you any help? Maybe your doctor could advise you on how to go about it.

Stay strong. I agree with another person who replied to you, don’t let it consume you or your marriage. Maybe talk to your partner, say you are struggling, maybe he will have some ideas that might help. You need to know that you are not alone.

I hope you work everything out for you and all your family. ❤️

Hang in there and dont neglect yourself and your marriage. My son is on medication for ADHD and so is my daughter. Our youngest has mild Autism and we also have a daughter who has no issues... 4 kids total. And we are two Moms attending to all their needs. Most of our arguments revolve around the ADHD son... Which is horrible... He once lied that someone tried to kidnap him and we had police and detectives to deal with until he admitted he lied a few days later... He gets in trouble at school for cursing and he has no motivation at home. He just wants electronics... If not either we have to play with him or he whines or falls asleep at random parts of the day. He was a lot more agressive prior to medication, which does help him a lot. But he still has impulsivity and ODD. He has therapy once a week and we are working with his school to have special accomodations for him... The school is very supportive. We implement charts at home so he can earn more electronics time by completing certain things and money for chores because he wants a hamster. Things will not get better overnight or even in a matter of months... Its a constant battle. Make sure you get breaks, have someone to talk to, have date nights with your husband... A difficult child can destroy a marriage but he can also teach you things and make you stronger.

Sometimes these kids are able to tell you what they need. My son told the therapist that sometimes when he is very angry he just wants us to hug him tight instead of yelling at him... There are always things that ground these kids... Its a matter of finding them. He also loves animals which calm him as well and he sleeps with huge plush toys at the age of 10... Video games actually are calming as well for special needs kids... Just make sure the games are age appropriate. Though our son is 10, the therapist says that he is emotionally 6 and not able to process many things.

Thank you all its really nice to know that there others out there that have problems like this to . Does anybody know a behavioral therapist that's in the KCMO area that I can get him in I'm trying to go through Children's Mercy but they have a long waiting list and he went to Truman last time which did help him to a point

Call your insurance company they will give you a list or go online and look it up. I am on call number 50 and these people have no openings in my area. I hope they can have you ASAP. He needs a play therapist, psychologist and most of all you. If you are telling him negative things your part of the problem. I’m not perfect none Of us are here. We lose our cool and say things we shouldn’t when our kids make us mad. It’s very important your son knows you love and care for him no matter what and he can count on you.

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