Help improving understanding with extended family

[nurseandmom23]

Hello,

I have an 8 year old son who has ADHD, ODD, and dyslexia. The school has actually been great, my spouse is on board, but where my largest frustration lies is with my own parents. I have always had a great relationship with my parents my mom has been helpful with my older two baby sitting and wanting to spend quality time with them as much as possible. Over the last several years as my youngest has gotten older and his behaviors can no longer be attributed to the norms of a young child, my parents are pulling away from us. When we visit there is lots of assuming the worst when it comes to him. If something is missing, broken, or misplaced, it is automatically his fault. If he is watching TV, he is told to get up and play outside, when he plays outside, he is fussed at because balls and things are all over the yard. To be honest, he has in fact, broken things and played with things that he should not touch. They have a lot of clutter so it is really hard for him to not want to touch things. What used to be visits that were warm and something I looked forward to, have become tense interactions that spill over the whole family unit.

Are there any good articles or resources that will help them understand my child? How do we build on this strained relationship? Also, how to help my child make good choices when there is so much temptation around and he is away from routine.

Thank you in advance!