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ADHD Parents Together
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New with 13 yr old daughter

My daughter is 13. She was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago. I don't know what to do. She is on Vyvanse 30mg and has been for almost a year. She had to be put on an appetite stimulant due to weight loss. She's defiant and clueless and does stuff without thinking of the consequences. What do other parents do to discipline their children that helps? What should I do?

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I have a 13 year old son with ADHD and ODD. Family therapy has really helped us. Also there are many books with information to help you better understand ADHD and how to live with it. Scattered but Smart teens and ADHD is not a Four Letter Word are helpful. Good luck!

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I will definitely look into those. I'm just at a loss and going insane. Its hard to tell the difference between her ADHD behaviors and normal teenage behavior.

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I agree, i understand how conflicting and confusing that can be. I will look into those books also for our family....

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She may need a dose increase. Our Dr. told us that sometimes hormones get in the way of the medication being effective so a dose increase is necessary. We just had to do that with our 14 year old. My son is like your daughter and the Dr. just put him on an additional medication to help aide the other medication. Tenex has helped him be calmer and less defiant. Good luck!

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Her pediatrician is the one who put her on the Vyvanse. We have an appt with a psychiatrist in March. That's the soonest they could get us in. I'm hoping they help more than the family Dr has been able to do. I'm hoping I make it to that appt without pulling all of my hair out.

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I found the Psychiatrist to be more helpful then our Pediatrician with this issue. I have 5 children. The teenage years are very trying. Adding ADHD and ODD on top of teenage hormones is an interesting and trying mix! I truly believe that educating my son and myself on this issue has made a positive difference. Understanding what it’s all about and learning how to deal with ADHD is half the battle. Best wishes !🙂

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We are in a similar place. My daughter is 9 and was on Vyvanse 30mg from June to December from her pediatrician. It seems that in December her behavior started regressing and the doctor thought it might be sleep issues. Put her on a non-stimulant Guafacine. She became angry, irritable and oppositional. We took her off after 2 weeks and moved her up to 40mg for the past two weeks. I haven't seen a difference. I have scheduled a meeting with a child psychiatrist for the 24th. Hoping we can get a better diagnosis and medication. Her behavior has impacted us at a social level with others and with her siblings 😣

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We had to switch from pediatrician to psychiatrist when ADHD got too complicated. We too are dealing with teen angst. Finally put 13 year old grandson on Wellbutrin. Doctor says it helps with both depression and ADHD. He just didn't care about anything. The last few days I have actually seen him smiling again. Keeping fingers crossed. Growth, hormones and ADHD are a bad combination.

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Hi,

Regardless of whether you're dealing with "normal" teen stuff or ADHD, parenting is not easy--it's definitely a marathon not a sprint--but the good news is there is a lot of good info and support available.

What I have found to be the most important thing to focus on first though is yourself--specifically looking at your own thoughts and beliefs about what's going on, what she's doing, etc. because your thoughts result in your emotions, and your emotions will affect everything--from how you react to her to how she will react to you. For example if in response to her being defiant or having poor impulse control you think, "she is doing the best she can do right now due to her ADHD and teen hormones," you will react much differently and make much different parenting decisions than if you take things personally and/or think she is deliberately doing things to get back at you.

What can help: learning as much about ADHD as you can AND getting help and support for yourself especially if your teen's behavior triggers intense emotions in you--so that you can parent in a way that will best help prepare your teen for adulthood (and have a calm, happy household in the meantime!).

In terms of parenting strategies and techniques, some books and programs I recommend: "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene, the Parenting with Love and Logic program and last but not least a book I wrote: "Parenting teens with ADHD: practical mindset and parenting strategies to take you from chaos to calm" (there's a link to the book as well as a free mindset worksheet to download on my website).

Hope this helps!

Joyce Mabe, website: parentcoachjoyce.com

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Thank you. I will look into all of these things. I have ADD myself and im bipolar. This makes parenting a bit of a challenge. We have an appointment with a new psychiatrist in March. Im hoping they can help. We are also all starting counseling. I will look into the books you recommended. I do believe it would be greatly beneficial. I am so happy i found this forum as well. I knew before that i wasnt alone in this but now i have a people that care what's going on and can help me get through this.

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I agree with the posts about reading up on ADHD. There are some great books and you will need to be on top of things as your daughter gets older. I would be very surprised if your daughter did not need an increase in her Vyvanse dose. Most kids tend to need dose escalations as time goes on. Or she may need to switch meds, but I would definitely try a dose increase first. Don't worry about this - it's very common and not unusual for kids to end up on the highest dose. You should see an improvement almost immediately.

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