ADHD Parents Together
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Hello, I am new to this site and hoping to get some help. Our 7 year old was diagnosed with adhd when he was 4 but we chose not to medicate. We ended up starting meds towards the last part of kindergarten and have been on them since. Still trying to figure out the right one however. We feel like the worst parents because we get so frustrated when he can't control himself. He is very impulsive and is always running into kids. He doesn't do it to hurt just play. But he just doesn't know how to accept stop. Any tips you've had success with other than constantly saying stop, no, grounding.....we've done it all. We just are not sure what to do when he acts out. I'm exhausted. Also hes super afraid of bugs. Like bad. He wasn't like this before meds. Anyone else experience this and have recommendations to help him conquer This? He doesn't like going outside because of it. Thanks

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Oh my goodness! Feel like you were taking a page out of my life two years ago! For my son, we use medications and it has been so helpful for us. But before we started medications we put our son into a social skills program to teach him to cope with his ever racing mind. We also would take short "breaks" and discuss some of his interactions between him and his peers. The absolute biggest help was a compression vest. And please please don't feel bad or guilty about getting frustrated. I have been there so many times. Feel free to message me with any questions or if you need more ideas!

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what is compression vest

my son also have mild adhd but i dont know howvto cope it

hes getting support in classroom

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Coping as a parent is hard sometimes. I used to feel like I failed as a mom. Just keep in mind that no matter what your child is not doing it on purpose. Now, my son is almost 8 and tries to use his medication as a way to get out of trouble sometimes hahaha. So start off by acknowledging that they may not have complete control over their impulses but they can make good choices when given the opportunity. And if you ever need an ear, there are plenty of us in the group here. My greatest accomplishment though was starting an ADHD group for my area on facebook. Completely private, but all of us moms can talk and even take our kids to the park together.

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How did you find the social skills program?

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I don’t have much advice but wanted to say you are not alone. Our son is 5 1/2 and he is also very impulsive. He runs into EVERYTHing. One thing that does help when he does these things is to give him a choice. Stop the behavior Or you will do ———- . Also, our OT gave us some exercises to try for deep pressure. This can help him to calm down and refocus. A Google search should give you examples but things like wall pushups, pushing fingertips together for 10 seconds and pushing fingertips on top of his head for 10 seconds.

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thanxxxx really it means alot to me.what the doc says about prognosis .

i will try exercises and search from google too

lovee uuu ❤️️❤️️👍👍👍

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A compression vest is just a vest with Velcro that helps your child to feel like they're in a hug. We also use a ball seat instead of a chair, rice bags on his lap, and sometimes we allow to to fidget with his hands. It has so been amazingly helpful.

As far as social skills programs, talk to you school's counselor and they can generally sign them up or direct you to the nearest one. In the skills program here they help with things like personal space, how to foster positive relationships between peers and self management. I send my child every year for added benefit.

Make sure that once you find something that helps, put it in your child's iep or 504. I know my child has a really hard time concentrating on lunch so we have a teacher or whoever is on lunch duty stand near him and it gives him that gentle reminder to eat.

Also, ExhaustedMomma, the pushups and such are a great idea. We used to stack 4 of my old medical books (they're kinda heavy) and have him race daddy down the hall. They would do this for about 15 mins or until my son was sick of it.

There are lots of options for help. Don't be afraid to use that school counselor. They are there not only for your child, but as your child's advocate and will generally be happy to help with ideas!

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awwww thanxx some bdy is here i can share with

otherwise i cry and my hubby says he is ok dn worry

but tell me lil whats is prognosis in future of adhd life or what doc says

because here in new jersey i still havnt get the official diagnose

i went to my country in india there was a doctor who look at my son and told he have adhd symptoms . not focussing

and inaatentive

and also give him medicine that i am giving him

sometimes my son behave really ok and sometimes overctive and excited jumping running in home when nothing to do

and going slow in academics as well..

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Just make sure to keep a positive attitude. You don t want to make him feel bad or guilty for being the way he is. All we as parents can really do is love our children and try to find what works best. My husband has adhd as well. And he is a successful outcome. Has a great job and has even learned to cope with no medications. Theres always hope.❤❤❤

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awww thanxxx ur msgs consoling me

thannxxx forr replyingg

awww ur husband doing reaallyy good

where u live ?

does ur child getting support in school in which grade??

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We live in Wyoming. My husband is a master carpenter and is the foreman for a large company

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also my love and prauers for u and your lovely son .

the school diagnosed him with palsy due to stifness i is feet and smtimes he waks tip toes

doc says he will get better by surgery .when he will get 13

that we feel is not right diagnose but atleast hes is getting iep and inclusion class support.

teachers are very good with him

but i dont ask much howws he behaving physically as no complains i just ask mostly about his academics in which he struggles

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ur answer means alotttttt to me i will read again and again and follow.

still i thank to God my sonis not at severe and my prayers with the parents who are coping all types of adhd

but still i want him to interact nicely and dnt get get silly atbtimes talking to peers or shy or nervous.

still i love himmm

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I know just how you feel. My son has had the same issues since pre school and I felt then and still do sometimes that I must be the worst father and that it is all my fault. My son is on meds and has been since K. He is in 7 grade now. He is in a private school for kids with learning difficulties of all types and they know just how to handle him. We have recently started a program teaching us DBT techniques. Not sure how much help it is for my son but it has done a world of good for me. Much less arguing and yelling in my house now. Good luck.

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I love that you are being so proactive for your child. Way to go!

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from where u get such programs

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I know the feeling. No off button. Worse, No matter how many times you tell them or warn them, they continue behaviors. remember that these kids live in the moment. There's no yesterday or tomorrow, so grounding is useless. Discussing behaviors that happened even 2 minutes ago causes 'mommy deafness'. It's best to reward and punish immediately after the behavior. Is there any aggression or defiance toward you? If so, you MUST snuff that out firmly. My sons 9 & we still put him in timeout. He loses tokens for breaking 3 house rules: 1 aggression, 2: not doing what he's told, 3: not helping out (leaving stuff for others to cleanup). We give him a chance by first calmly reminding, then he loses if there's a second reminder. Focalin and Strattera have been helpful to us but he has a rebound when it wears off. Now, for every punishment you must find five ways to reward with positive encouragement. That's easy to forget. If not, worse behaviors ensue from anxiety and even depression with constant negative feedback.. try to ignore harmless but annoying attention seeking behaviors too.

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