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ADHD systems only age 5 no help from pedi dr

BaylorFan
BaylorFan
18 Replies

I am looking for suggestions have a 5 year old who has lots of classic syptoms of ADHD don't notice it as much at home because he is an only child as you do when in group settings pre k teacher brought it up several times he also plays group sports doesn't matter what group he is put with always a distraction to the other kids talks nonstop even when punished for it. He is made to run and sometimes cries because he has to but only moments later its as if he has forgotten he isn't suppose to do it. Have terrible time getting him to go to be even use childrens melatonin. Didn't take a nap a pre-k in a few weeks starts kindergarten I have ask about referring us for behavior counceling pedi just automatically assumes every parent wants meds I prefer not to but he needs some type of assistance we have him on focus factor and smarty pants vitiamins. I really want him to get a good start in school he is bright and is starting out ahead of the curve really do not want to get behind. Any ideals?

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BaylorFan

I didn't mention his dad and his grandfather on his dad's side both still have to take medication as adults and were not diagnosed early on and had learning delays due to that which is a reason we have major concerns.

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Mudpies

I think I would start by calling the front desk of the Pediatrician’s office, tell them you want to do behavior therapy and ask for a referral. If that didn’t work I would do a google search for behavior therapy in my area to find a few. Call around and find out if they take my insurance and I would visit them to find out which one I wanted to use. Medication was a last resort for us too. I hope that’s helpful.

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Chyna826

In my experience alot of facilities do not test children under the age or 5 or 6. My advice is to be patience with the doctor. One of the worst things that can happen is medicating him when he doesn't need it. My pediatrician told me he wanted to wait just in case my son was one of those kids who just had alot of energy. In the meantime, keep a strict schedule as far as bedtime and wake up times are concerned. Try a chore or reward chart.... very basic so he can have a ritual. I would not punish as much because I find that doesn't help children with ADHD. Lavender baths (whether it's soap or Epson salt). I hope this helps

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Sullivan47
Sullivan47
in reply to Chyna826

Vayrin has helped my son already only 3 weeks in

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Chyna826

I fully understand where you are coming from but I also understand why doctors wait. Hang in there

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Jerlove

First off change peds. Sorry but yea. Second 9f all demand testing. If dr refuses call insurance yourself and fule a complaint. Have the teacher write a letter explaining behavior. Journal your days. If its a good day the. Joy it down. Put times n whats going on. Patterns form Themselves. If you like i can pm.you. iys totally up to you. My son is 9 now. Melatonin wont help with behavior. During the day it will mske him tired n irritable. It is to helpmthem wind down n sleep. I use it for my son.

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carey957

It’s as if you wrote my story! Almost to a tee! Because my son is an “only”, I too thought he was just filled with energy. Our preschool encouraged him to be active, speak to, so when he got into kindergarten, it was a huge adjustment. His teacher was separating him from circle time and making him set up his mat away from the other children because he was such a distraction. It broke my heart. My son has a late birthday, so he was 6 by the time we recognized what was going on. We had him tested, and he was off the charts. Looking back there were signs, but he being an only child, I had nothing to compare it to. My son still takes melatonin at night because he complains that his brain won’t take a break, he is on a low dose of focalin, him being diagnosed was a life changer for us! He’s now 10 and thriving, at the end of last school year, he made principal’s list. (He has an IEP, he struggles with phonics & reading). Hang in there, maybe see another pediatrician, or a behavior therapist. Both of ours were super helpful, but my son’s kindergarten teacher was the one who really helped me to see it. She also participated in the Vanderbilt assessment along with my ex husband (who has adhd himself) and myself.

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Ldydy24
Ldydy24
in reply to carey957

I totally agree with you. My son was exactly the same way. We went through months of behavior therapy which was a waste of time in my opinion. Reward charts did nothing and in the mean time my son was separated and deemed a trouble maker. I recommend seeing a child psychologist who specializes in ADHD. I had testing done a 5 1/2 right before Kindergarten started and he was diagnosed with severe ADHD. Meds have made a word of difference. My son is also on Focalin and thrives in school. Don’t wait for testing and don’t waste time with a pedestrian.

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anirush

Both of my grandsons started on medication in kindergarten. They would have never been able to handle school if they didn't. If your pediatrician doesn't cooperate find a pediatric psychiatrist they're more equipped for dealing with ADHD anyway

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Ethomasone

I have an only child with ADHD. He is a major “distraction” everywhere he participates. We’ve tried Taekwodo, CrossFit, baseball, cub scouts. He just can’t seem to integrate. He is always looking for a distraction, anything to divert his attention from whatever he is participating in. I see him as bossy, always telling people what he wants rather than what is expected of him. We’ve tried organic meds. Yo no avail. School is s constant struggle with faculty and phone calls home. I’m so worn out snd he’s only 7.75 yrs. old. I just want to disappear in my bedroom. I cry and pray regularly. He just can’t seem to help his behavior. I’ve seen the side effects of medication and have held out through pre-K - 1st grade. He’s going into 2nd grade now and I’m just not eager to get him on meds. I keep getting homeschooling info. In my mailbox. Is this the school trying to send alternatives to get rid of my child? I would not be a consistent homeschooling parent. I need time to myself to recharge. I’m isolated since none of the children are allowed to socialize with my boy. He has a bad reputation among the parents/children.

I wish he would grow out of it but I’m not very hopeful. I’m a single parent and love my child, we’re very close and he’s so sweet and I have tried to find solutions other than meds., but I think it’s a pipe dream. He has a disorder that prevents him from complying with our school system. Sit down, be quiet and listen. He just can’t do it to save his life.

I wonder why France doesn’t have an ADHD epidemic in their school system? Can someone answer this Q?

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Ldydy24
Ldydy24
in reply to Ethomasone

I Honestly think you need to reconsider having your son re-evaluated for meds. My son would be just like yours without them. ADHD is a medical condition in which many kids need medicine to be successful. It’s not an easy journey but once you find the right medicine your child will succeed and your stress level will greatly decrease. My son has been on meds since the age of 5 and is now 13. There are some cons to taking the meds but the pros far outweigh them. Please reconsider.

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BaylorFan

I am thankful I wrote this post obviously there are other families in the same position as us. Have you tried the behavioral counseling? I have heard it works for a lot of children but because of our age we haven’t been able to get a referral maybe that work for you. I pray we all find answers.

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carey957

My son had a pediatric psychiatrist when we started the meds, our pediatrician suggested her. Now that he’s almost 11 he has a “play therapist” that I found from doing some online research... only thing is that it’s so expensive, so my son doesn’t go as often as I’d like. The play therapist actually has adhd too, and so he relates, we meet him at different outdoor places, parks, the beach, they toss a football, indoor wall climb, etc. He helps me with how to cope with some of the behavior (he only takes a dose with the strength to get him through his school day or camp) so I struggle with mornings and evenings and homework. It’s been so helpful. In response to Ethomasone - I had a really hard time with the idea of meds but my son was having such a hard time and starting to think he was “dumb” because he couldn’t sit still long enough to learn. My pediatrician is also a close friend with a son only 2 weeks younger than mine, she read the test results and the Vanderbilt survey from his teachers and his father & I (we’re divorced) and her exact response was “if this were my kid, I’d try medication. He’s isolating himself & that is damaging”. It’s so hard. France has better standards when it comes to the foods they eat, we have so much garbage in the food we buy it’s upsetting! Even our organic &/or natural foods aren’t all they claim to be. We have to be diligent and really research the companies we choose to buy our food from.

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Cjkchamp

You need a new dr who will listen to you. I recommend doing the Nordic naturals fish oil and magnesium glycinate at night. The dr is not being fair to your child or to you. If he doesn’t need meds than great, but if he does the dr is putting you guys in a tough spot. You also don’t want your child hating school. Good luck to you!

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annmclpc

I am a play therapist and I can tell you that without medication you are fighting with only one arm. It is so vital for kids to avoid learning all the negative behaviors that they learn when trying to compensate for their adhd. I am so sorry that my kiddo was not diagnosed until he was 8. Probably it was so easy for us because I, being a counselor, got my ammunition ready. I took mine to a child psychologist and had the complete battery of tests done. Truthfully, in spite of my profession, I did not think my boy had ADHD but the school(private) headmaster said she believed he did. He had had the same pediatrician for his entire life so the dr knew me and knew my profession and along with the psychologist's diagnosis, he readily agreed to put him on medication. It was amazing the first day on meds and the teacher said "it looks like him and sounds like him but oh my it does not act like his normal way of acting and working". So get the testing if you believe it is a significant need and yes it is not cheap and insurance probably won't pay a dime, but you will make a great contribution to your family life, your child's mental health, and his academic success!

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Onthemove1971

Thank you so much for your insight.

I have a question. What do you say to the parent that wants to wait and use medication as a last resort, when my belief is it should be the first becuase children ( yes I am making a general statement) learn bad habits, get into so much trouble, parents then are so angry and exhausted and have tried so many things and then they turn to medication. In my eyes in order for the other treatments to work medication which I have been told helps to control %60 of behaviors and %40 is controlled by thearpy and self control.

Your thoughts?

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ldfitzpatrick

Hi! I too was in all the shoes listed above. I feel for you, but want to tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. My daughter just turned 16 last week. I never thought we'd make it! ;o) My biggest piece of advice (other than getting testing and exploring medications as outlined above), is get involved with CHADD (Children and Adults with ADHD). It is a phenomenal organization. I found them on my own online (CHADD.org) and have gone to several of their conferences. I may even take the 16 year old with me this year in November - that's how far she's come to be able to tolerate an event like that. There is hope! I live in rural Pennsylvania and, even though there isn't a local chapter near me, I have learned so much from the groups that I have hooked up with and the materials they provide to the parents. They taught me so much about behavior modifications for at home, for the teachers to use and for me to teach to my daughter. And going to the conferences has been wonderful to immerse myself in a place where everyone is fighting the same battle - I suddenly wasn't alone any longer. Please, please, please arm yourself with their knowledge! Best of luck to you!

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BaylorFan

Thank you so much for the kind words and advice I have read so much however this is my first time to reach out I will look the organization up tonight. Thanks again!

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