Twice-Exceptional Preschooler?

My three and a half year old can read, climb and run on top of balance beams, but he can't use a toilet, dress himself, sit down for a meal, or understand the idea of waiting even briefly.

I have ADHD, and I knew my children might, but since the birth of my second child, three months ago, I've become aware just how different my son is. My daughter does all the things baby books say that babies do, like sleep a lot and give early hunger signs. My son had to be held constantly, had endless trouble falling asleep, and could go from calm to frantic in just a few breaths.

I would bet my entire bank account that my son has ADHD or another significant neuroatypicality, and my daughter does not.

So, what now? I very much want my son to get a diagnosis and plan in place before starting kindergarten. I suspect the pediatrician will want to wait until it starts causing him real problems, but I don't see why he should endure unnecessary pain.

At the same time, though, I have a lot of issues from growing up undiagnosed. Getting him treatment and help without breaking down crying every ten seconds is going to be harder than I thought.

What's the best way to get an evaluation for a possible twice-exceptional preschooler? And how do I get past my own trauma long enough to make sure he doesn't suffer the same way?

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