I don’t know what to do

[raphnn]

My son is 8 years old in 3rd grade and he has been recently diagnosed with ADHD. He takes 4 hours to today two sheets of hw and I have to sit around to get him to focus. I do nut want my son on medication, I just want to find a way to get him to focus on important things without wasting my time. I have school and work and all this time could hav been spent doing something else. What should I do?

[Cjkchamp]

If you don’t want medications I would highly encourage you to look into broad spectrum micronutrients. There are two companies, True Hope and Hardy Nutritionals.

[raphnn in reply to Cjkchamp]

What is that ?

[Cjkchamp in reply to raphnn]

Mixture of vitamins and minerals scientifically proven to help with mood, anxiety, ADHD, depression...we previously tried a multitude of supplements, but did not see any results or have any success until using the Hardy Nutritionals.

[Onthemove1971]

Welcome to the group, we are happy you have joined us on this challanging journey. I think it would be important for you to understand that children with ADHD have a biological reason for these symptoms.

Children with ADHD don't "want" to be bad. When they take medication they are able to control their impulses and when they have medication that helps them focus, so they can do basic tasks.

I would like to suggest you make a list of positive reasons to take medication and the negative reasons to take medication.

You could also observe him in his academic setting ( without him knowing) without medication, then try medication and observe him to see the difference. There will be a very big difference in how he is able to manage things.

Taking medication does not change their personality, but helps them manage the issues they have.

Medication is a personal choice, but there are many, many studies that discuss how successful children can be when stable on medication.

We are here for you if you need us.

Take care!

[anirush]

At 1st we didn't want my oldest grandson on medication. But when we tried everything rewards, punishments, and nothing worked we decided it wasn't worth damaging his selfesteem without the meds. Once he started on them it was like night and day difference.

He is in a advanced academic program in high school now and almost 6' tall.

[mplaz]

We didn’t want to medicate our daughter either. We’d still prefer not to have to give her pills every day. But after a year of behavioral therapy alone, I was still getting emails from school about behavioral incidents, and having conferences confirming that although she’s very smart, she can’t complete her work. The last straw was when I was called to leave work and pick her up at school because she slapped another child across the face. I then realized that it wasn’t fair to expect my daughter to change her behavior on her own. She wasn’t capable. We then decided to medicate and so far, so good. Unfortunately, medication is the ONLY proven treatment for ADHD, and it has been used for many years. Preeminent scientists and ADHD specialists will all say the same thing. Check out Russell Barkley’s lectures on YouTube and read his books. Best of luck to you and your son. It’s a journey & we all get it.

[raphnn in reply to mplaz]

My son isn’t problematic and hostile in behavior he is very quiet in school. He just cannot complete his work

[Onthemove1971 in reply to raphnn]

I assume if he is not completing his work that school and grades are not good. Being in school is also about learning so homework is given to learn, not just complete.

We have all been there ( where you ar todaywith struggles) and one thing to know is the road ahead can be very challanging and it takes a while to get the tools he will need in place.

Most children who are successful need the following: thearpy, educational plan and some type of medication.

Unfortunately most people wait until it gets really bad to start this process then it becomes even harder.

Our jobs are to raise children to be independent, well adjusted children, healthily children.

Take care!

[raphnn in reply to Onthemove1971]

I will try medication.

[inimeidorcha]

My mother avoided having me diagnosed with ADHD as she didn't want me on meds either. I did okay in school, but I was so miserable. Try to think of meds for him like insulin for a diabetic. If he was a diabetic, you would give him insulin. The meds are just to help him focus. You can speak with the doctor about your concern and see if you can get him on a stimulant, which means there may be days he doesn't' have to take it. Meds will help him work on strategies that may allow him to rely on meds less as he gets older. Also, look at the idea of Self Reg, Dr. Stuart Shanker, which is a wonderful book on it. It won't be an instant problem, but the skills you can start teaching will help later.

[Laura3456]

My son was always an angel at school just never completed his work. Inattentive type.

Since medication he is keeping up with everything. Middle or top group for the main subjects. So far for us after a year it’s been a game changer on productivity. We spent three years trying non med options

[Elijah1]

Make a set game plan about how to address this issue. If you want to use educational and behavioral management, decide how long you will give it if no effect is seen. Use a similar approach if you try the micronutrients or a medication. Otherwise, you may end up doing the same thing over and over again with no real benefit.

[Suitpeve]

Thanks everyone for your comments I am in a very similar situation and at times that feeling of not wanting to medicate feels like a lonely place, like all the reasons people give you to medicate are not enough. I appreciate hearing about others experience and relating to this being a journey.