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ADHD Parents Together
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Anyone experiencing the same issue ?

so my son for a while has been really negative cant keep some friends and has a hard time calming down after getting upset she has hard time to let things go and keep on fighting with the same kid threw out the day also will say he hates the world and wants to hurt himself when I hear what kind ofday he's hadI brust in to tears....i can't help it now teacher and principle say his attitude and threating comments are rubbing off on other students how do u handle something like this?

1 Reply

Is he on ADHD medication? That particular med may not be working for him.

If he's not taking anything to help, it may be worth trying...? Especially an anti-depressant to balance him out and relieve any anxiety he may feel about being different in his daily life? Also to balance him out? This is just our experience.

I wrote this for someone else, but it might help you, as your son has many shared traits with our daughter... especially the heartbreak and self-destruction.

"" We spent years trying to avoid medicating our eldest (now 10), instead we tried all the alternative methods of treatment for ADHD and Autism.

It got to the point where it was completely untenable - and our daughter was so unhappy at school especially, always getting told off and feeling decifient and like she's failing in some way - that we went to CAMHS and she was prescribed suuuuuuper-low 2mg Citalopram off-label (it's an anti-depressant) and Medikanet (fast release - so taken twice a day - the slow version made her utterly depressed when it tailed off at the end of the day, just like it did for my husband who also has ADHD).

She took Citalopram for a few months (it balanced out her mood swings and kept her more level in general, less yoyo-y) then started with the other.

I'm not convinced we've found the right kind of Ritalin for her (we've tried 2 so far), especially as her dad has had to try 4 different ADHD meds to find something that works for him. And he's still not sure about his meds, it just seems the best of a bad bunch for him.

Back to our daughter: in one school term on Citalopram and Medikanet she's gone from desperately unhappy and too intense/ much hard work for the company of many of her peers, to having 10 friends over for a birthday sleepover and being chosen as a School Ambassador/ Prefect.

With all the good will, vitamin and mineral supplements, exercise in the world, this would not have been possible without meds.

The CAMHS consultant also suggested keeping her on Medikanet at the weekends (some parents take their kids off meds during weekends and holidays). He says this is because it makes her feel less unusual, less uncomfortable in herself, and avoids her not coping/ acting like she's not managing life in general, and will therefore improve her self-esteem/ sense of self-worth.

He says she's been struggling so long that it's her self-esteem we need to build on - even though she's always been a confident kid (some may say over-confident!). And that feeling of self-worth will also help improve her behaviour. It'll all keep building on itself - we just need strong rather than shaky (ADHD) foundations to start with!

Even though they get on well and adore each other, my eldest daughter (10) still behaves really nastily to her younger sister (8), more than the average sibling fighting. It's really upsetting at times. However, since her frustration and impulse-driven behaviour has improved, she has become marginally less evil. Unfortunately this is still the area that needs the most work!

So I'm guessing what I'm saying is, try all the ADHD meds, one at a time like my husband has, until you find one that works for your son. You just have to keep trying (and avoiding the ones that don't work), like we are. But at least in the meantime our kids should be struggling less...

Also, the correct vitamin/ mineral supplements and good diet do more than help; they're essential. It's just that they're just a part of the puzzle rather than the whole picture.

And as for 'failing' your son, the transformation of our daughter on medication after years of us trying every single thing but that, means we feel we failed her for not medicating her sooner: she is so much more settled and content now (although will never be neuro-typical, obvs)! Basically, as parents we can't win, so please be sweet to yourself whichever route you choose.

Don't know if I've helped at all, but I guess at least you know you're not alone... !

Good luck,

Abi. ""

^ Any use? ^

Big hugs x



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