PLEASE Help! I can’t be the only one who has this issue with computer screens!

[MM814]

I am at my wits end and have to think that lots of kids have this problem. My 16year old is very bright and attends a gifted school. Everything was fine his first year but after medication changes went downhill. He went from being super motivated to completely unmotivated and won’t do his homework. My issue is that everything has to be done on his computer and he cannot keep from toggling between assignments and other things. I have tried to block certain sites but he just picks other ones. I have asked through his 504 plan to eliminate homework on the computer but there is really no way of completely doing it. I can’t block google because he needs it for google docs. How do others deal with this? Is there a product that can shit down browser access but then bring it back up quickly so I have something to motivate him with? He will spend literally hits in front of the computer and will not get anything done. Turning it off just means he has no chance at getting it done. I cannot believe this is the same kid. I am heartbroken and feel completely helpless as I watch him disintegrate. I would appreciate any advice!!!

[Onthemove1971]

We all experience our children being "hyperfocused" on something, where all the do is focus on that one thing.

Here is a link to social media control Apps that you can download to limit social media.

google.com/amp/s/www.tomsgu...

I would also suggest helping him with getting the following: counseling and medication. The third would be a school plan but you have that.

If you could help him find other outlets: fun classes, sports, time with friends.. etc it might be easier for him to give up the media.

We try to keep us son engaged with activities so he doesn't want to just sit around on social media. We alson require him to sit in a common area so we can view what he is doing. In addition we know she he understands about safety on social media ( don't give personal info. Out, know the person on the other side could be a danger...etc)

Hope this helps.

[Janice_H]

I know it is time consuming but can you sit with him to be sure he is completing the work and not getting distracted. Kids with ADHD really struggle with staying focused for long periods of time. I find my 12 y.o. just cannot get through his work alone. He gets so distracted by everything. I have to sit with him for 30 minutes to keep him focused on the work. It is the only way he completes it. Yes, it is annoying when I have so many other things to get done in the evening, but there really is no other method.

I purposely do not have internet in the house and do not allow him use of a cell phone because of the excessive social media usage. He really does not miss having either.

[MM814 in reply to Janice_H]

Thanks for your time. I have sat with him but at 16 he is now rebelling against me and we have gotten into huge fights over it. I try modeling by being I the room it that has also led to huge fights. He is trying to be independent and I respect that and recognize I have to let him but he has no self control.

[Janice_H in reply to MM814]

He really cannot help it. I'm not looking forward to these same things when my son turns that age. He is already a bit rebellious thinking he can skip homework and do what he wants. Has he been in any therapy to get to the root of why he is so defiant? I wonder if that might help. How about the school guidance counselor?

[katcald]

You sound like you are describing my 12 year old. It takes him HOURS to do any assignment on the computer because he is constantly going off to another site. (Usually games) sometimes he goes back and forth between two different class assignments and still gets neither one done. He pitches a fit if I try to sit with him (something I hate and have no patience or time for) so I print what I can for him to work on and then enter in his answers. Only works for some assignments. He does have a 504 and is on medication. We just tried an executive function coach (again) but it didn’t help. He’s doing okay in school now but I worry it will be more of a problem as his workload increases.

[reg2018]

I have to sit with my 14 almost 15 year old while he works on the computer to get his homework done or he would go down the rabbit hole as well. And I'll be honest . . . I have ADHD and go down the rabbit hole on the computer all the time. So it's not restricted to teens.

[Janice_H]

Me too....

[Pennywink]

Can you block access to any sites except what is needed? Maybe through a software like Circle or something?

meetcircle.com/

(I haven't actually used Circle, just heard it mentioned in the past.)

My son is only 8, so we haven't quite got to this stage yet. Though I have parental controls set on his tablet so that he can only access school-related content & websites.

[Onthemove1971 in reply to Pennywink]

Most of our school sites use go guardian to block out all unwanted site an know what they are doing. It shows what website they are on, on the parent site. Schools love it.

You can also "push" messages to say things like do page x first..

You have proof they are off task.

[MM814]

Thank you! I have not heard of that. I appreciate all the replies today!!

[OptimistMom]

We are having the same issue with our 11 year old. His school has issued every student a computer and every assignment is digital. It has been torture for us. We tried the watch his screen route but that really isn’t practical when it takes hours to complete an assignment. We’ve now switched medications and have scheduled an appt with a therapist. But the talking back (fastest excuse maker in the west), lack of concern for consequences and incomplete assignments are also leading us to the military school route. We just don’t think he will learn to self-regulate on the computer any other way. He is such a sweet kid but he really struggles with doing what’s for the best vs what he’d rather be doing. Now that his grades have plummeted we don’t really see any other way that doesn’t suck up our entire lives looking over his shoulder. Just isn’t practical. Best of luck to you all.