Bit of a newbie - but it'd be nice to talk to someone who can understand.

[Shell91]

So, where to start? I'm 21, and i've been struggling with depression over the past 6 or so years. My Dad passed away 5 years ago (sudden heart attack) and we had a pretty up-and-down relationship...he was pretty abusive. To put it nicely, he wasn't exactly 'Dad of the year'. But on the other hand, my upbringing wasn't all bad. So, this being the case, i'm left with unresolved issues, making it feel impossible to actually grieve for him.

I've tried all sorts of different things to help me get past this - ranging from different medication, stress therapy, counseling, CBT...the list is pretty much endless. But no matter how hard i try to get myself out of this pit of manic depression, it never seems to budge it. If anything, i've been getting worse. But, as many of you may have already experienced, i get the usual 'shove-off' when i try to discuss this with my GP. His usual response is to slap a prescription in my hand for different anti-depressants and show me the door. Otherwise i get the, 'well give it a few days, and see how you feel'. Makes sense - i've been struggling to cope with severe depression for the past 6 years, but yeah, a few days will be all i now need to sort this out! Unbelievable.

Anyway, that's enough ranting for now. I just feel like discussing these soul-crushing feelings with someone who can actually understand would really be beneficial. I'm at the point where i'm giving up talking to friends or family; i just get the sympathetic nod and pat on the shoulder. Surprisingly not very helpful - i appreciate that discussing mental health is a bit of a difficult issue for some, but sympathy isn't really what i'm crying out for. Just some kind of cure would be nice. You can always dream!

Well, thanks for reading my Friday night rant. Anyone who has any tips, or any kind of miracle drug that can send me back to being a worry-free kid, please get in touch.

Good luck and much love to anyone finding life to be pretty pants.

Shell

[debbieg477]

Hi I'm new on here too..it's bn a relife to write down ny thoughts and get replies from people in same boat..i will be honest I've not found a cure as yet..but have decided to take each day as.it comes and go from there..for the last few weeks I've shut myself away and mainly slept this hasn't really help..the way I see it now.Is there is always someone worse.of than you...keep believing and one day the fog of life will lift xxx

[Hidden]

Hi

I'm sorry you find it hard to cope with feelings towards your Dad. I can really identify with that as my Dad was hurtful towards me and always put me down and I still find it difficult to resolve my feelings towards him. I think one of the reasons you find it hard to move on from depression is that you feel as though you were a carefree happy child and want to get back to that, but that he took that away from you, spoiled it, and that now you can't get back to that state. I'm wondering whether you can remember being the happy go lucky kid, whether you can remember a time when you did feel like that and if so was it when just your mum was around or with your dad as well. The more you explore your memories and feelings about them, especially your anger towards both your dad who was far from ideal and also your mum who, however good at times, failed to protect you from the hurtful things your dad did. Once you can feel the anger towards them both and share that I think the more likely you are to be able to move on from depression. Suexx

[annie87]

Hi

You have it hard and depression is an awful thing as I well no. The gps are quick just to hand drugs and get us out door as quick as possible. Go back to your gp tell them you are not happy and want support. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my brother inlaw in April 2012 to suicide and that's when my depression started. People Say times a great healer but I feel it's not and miss him more and more each day

All the best and I hope you get the support off your gp you need

Take care x