Feeling alone and depressed

Overall im a very happy person. However, I will randomly start feeling down and like i don't have many friends. This really stinks because I used to have a lot more people to hangout with. As we get older we have more responsibilities. I have an amazing boyfriend and a couple of close friends but I feel like I'm lacking a female best friend... People tell me I'm awesome and it seems like i have a lot of friends.. i really don't. What should I do?

18 Replies

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  • I know from my own experience that I don't need a lot of friends,my partner is my best friend and so I would not go looking for a best friend, it will happen if it is meant to be as I have a lot of so called friends who really are self centered and only care about their own world and don't truly treat you as close although they portrait this assumption. I don't waste anymore time on people who are not deserving.

  • I think you should learn to be happy of what you do have, not a lot of people have amazing boyfriends! You do not want to spoil what you do have thinking about what you haven't got., I lost my best friend to cancer last September at a young age ., , but it has made me realise you have to enjoy every day as much as possible & stop thinking about what you do not have, you seem a lovely person not everyone needs a best friend , if you stop thinking about it, it may just happen anyway., enjoy your amazing boyfriend ! X

  • Hi sorry to here u feeling like that in the same I have one main friend and few others they always say I great but I hardly c them only when I get in touch I feel alone a lot spend a lot of time on my own me and hubby r seperating so ha by got him only my friend across the road who is a real friend but I get by some days I wish o had more u have to b strong and maybe find a club or a hobbie and make some more friends maybe get in touch with the others and make time for coffee together etc always here if need a chat take care X

  • Hi Tracey, Sorry to hear that you are separating. Make sure you take care of yourself and that you have goals to keep you busy through this stressful time. Make sure you go out and keep up your clubs and hobbies.

  • Hi I am trying but being in hospital all the time makes life hard but il get there X

  • Hi Tracey, Sorry to here about being in hospital.

    Take care and I wish you well.

  • Sorry that you are in hospital, life is full of ups and downs, be positive and good things over time should com to you and lighten your negativity.

    If you are at hospital you may find that friend visiting the Wards. Do not feel you need to push for that ideal friend you seek. Sometimes without been pushy you will find that type od friend you seek

    BOB

  • I think you are just adjusting to a different phase in your life. Patterns of friendship cha ge over the years. You can't go looking g for a best female friend. One will happen when you meet someone and you click or it will build over the years. Its never the same as when you are in a relationship. Don't go by TV or films where everyone has a best best friend and they tell each other everything and support each other no matter what. It can happen but not always.

    What you are disrobing sounds to me like having up and down moods. A feature of the human condition. Enjoy the happy times and learn to deal with when it's not so good. We wouldn't know we were happy if we didn't have miserable times to compare it with.

    Take care

    Dee

  • Hi. I think everybody else gave you the best possible answers already...All I wanted to say is that I am in a same position as you. although I have people around me, I still feel alone, it feels like nobody gets me or no one likes or understands me. However, as time passes, it becoming easier for me to not care about being popular or good with everyone. I know who I am and what my qualities are. So I dont need everyone's approval anymore. And about having a best friend...well those are hard to come by, but when they do, it wont matter what kind of a person you are...they will like you no matter what. So dont be worried or upset about it...I'm sure you will meet that best friend eventually. I hope my answer was relevant. I know it's harder for gregarious people like you to feel that way. It wasnt that hard for me becasue I was never all that outgoing. But as our friends said earlier, you will adjust to your current predicament soon and then it wont be so hard then. Good Luck

  • Hi, Sorry that you feel like this.

    You say that you randomly start feeling down and that you don't have many friends.

    There is a saying "quality not quantity" I believe that if you have one friend who you can trust and who is there to help you when you need help that is better than having lots of friends that just call you when they need something or who you have to always call to arrange to meet up.

    When you say that you randomly feel down. Is it really random. It may be helpful for you to note what's happened in the day or two prior to you feeling down and if there is any reason that may have caused you to feel down. Do you have any hobbies or go to anything that you can make more female friends? That may help.

    What I think you should do is make sure you are taking time for yourself, maybe start a hobbie or exercise class or something. Not only will it give you a chance of making more friends it means you and your boyfriend will also have something else to talk about. :-D

    When you find yourself feeling low, why not list all the things that you are grateful for or list the achievements that your feel good about.

    Playing happy music and even going for a walk an help you to feel better as well.

    Hope these suggestions help.

    Take care.

  • You shouldn't worry about having many friends. I only have 4 close friends, 2 who have kids. They themselves may have many friends but I'm honestly happy with their company and couldn't ask for more. You have to learn to make the most of what you have as it's the quality of the friendship that counts not the quantity of it. Same principle applies to things like facebook. you have 300 friends but if you only interact with 50 of them then what is the use of the rest. try not to dwell on the issue of having a best female friend, you have a boyfriend so make the most of it and cherish your bond with him, maybe he can fill that gap you seek to fill or feel you lack.

  • All I will say is many people around today only make a handful or less really good friends that will be with you through thick and thin in your life and be there through to your retirement and death. If you are that lucky now what problems do you have.

    Be patient you are still young, life will have lots of things awaiting your attention, do not be in to much of a hurry. The saying ENJOY THE RIDE comes to mind. Life in general is a mixture of good and bad, Personally when I was young, never boring.

    You may have your ration of good friends, no-one can suggest are give advice on site.

    Do not worry, do not push, life is like a patterned carpet, the more you unroll it the more you see and undestand

    BOB

  • Hi there ,im not doing so good as I have social anxiety but wanted to try and go to the gym or Pilate's but just the thought brings on anxiety and depression open to any suggestions

  • Hi. Don't give up on going to the gym! Exercise is essential in combating anxiety. Everybody is there to do their own thing; they won't even bother to look your way. You just got to go in there and do your thing, even if just for 5 minutes. Got to tell yourself I came here to exercise and do just that like everyone else. It not easy to do, but it will get better.

  • Hi

    Everyone is right be happy with the close friends you have. I am someone with a lot of friends but I have very few close friends. The funny thing is I tend to make friend with women a lot that is because I am usually oblivious to people being rude to me and women some of them can be very unpleasant. Talk to the women you usually see let them in slowly not everyone clicks very fast.

    Yesterday a friend that I knew for 4 years told me that she feels that she trust very much as a friend coz she know I will tell the truth however unpleasant it is and I told her that is one habit of mine I am trying to hide coz most the people don't like it. I go to her when I am depressed and vice versa.

    Be patient and be happy with what you have and guess what you are growing up so life changes­čśť

  • I live in Bournemouth and would love to add you as a friend. True friends are important and without mine I would be even more lonely than I am!! I don't have a boyfriend, but I get lonely and depressed. Although you can be lonely inside even if you have many people around you. It's sad that communities hAve broken down. But please don't despair, you can message me anytime for a chat or just to sound of. Like many say on here one good person in your life is better than lots of people who don't take time to except you for who you are, and don't really know the real you!! Hope you feel better soon. X

  • Hello, sorry to hear your feeling the loss of a friend . It can be so hard I know when you feeling low and could do with a friend . If you can just try and be happy in the moment your in and be happy being on your own , maybe get a hobby that you can enjoy with others and make friends there . I know once your are in the right mind frame it will happen . There is nothing wrong with you , your just in this phase for now , things will change I promise you xx

  • I often feel similar to you. I have only had abusive partners and friends that have abandoned me. I know have aquaintances and possibly 1 friend and I know going out alone is not easy when you are feeling bad but keep trying, it does help. My dogs keep me going out or I would be a recluse.

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