Hi guys. So I was hoping I wouldn't need to come back and make a completely new post but... I despite this constant fighting and determination to beat my depression find myself while I am walking between my periods at school or whenever I get even a minute to think I am thinking about my death. Thoughts such as "who would come to my funeral if I killed myself? Who would care? What's the point in fighting? I'm tired of everyone. I'm worthless. A failure. I don't matter."
Now- I if you haven't seen my first post I will inform you that I have made efforts into trying to turn my life around. To start a life where I enjoy even the simplest of things. I had a lot of nice and open people who talked about their experiences with depression and what worked for them but... I am in a situation where I can't tell anyone in my family, friends, or girlfriend due to the fact that I don't want to risk either scaring them thinking I may commit an act that I promised my ever being I wouldn't commit or I would be taken to the rehab center I was put in back in September I believe it was. So- my one request is I need a little bit more advice on how to end these thoughts as they truly bother me and I want them to stop them ASAP. Thanks.