Getting pushed away and I don't know if it's me

I go through a lot of family problems such as arguing crying and stuff like that. Sometimes I'm asked to take sides.But I got close to a friend and she's helped and I helped her with some things by comfort.Shes come to a point where she can't try anymore or care or love. She's asking me to leave her alone. She's erring really rude about it. I should have left her but I didn't want to. Nothing's going to change if she gives up and what a friend would I be if I just let her push me off. But now I think she's upset with me and she's had enough of me too. I don't know what to do. Everything I say she has an answer to such as I don't care what u ducking think leave meeh fuck alone bla bla bla. But there's no point saying to leave her alone and make aure she knows your there because is its gone past that stage where I didn't leave her. That's what she needs. No one is there for her and I need to be. If she won't try let me try for her. But she hasn't even looked at my last message so she's probably blocked me. Have I done wrong? 

3 Replies

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  • You have to realise that if she had her own issues the way she deals with things may be to push people away and have some personal space. Everyone is different. If I were you I would back off completely as believe it or not there are people out there who take and then slap it back in your face. Its not nice but it's a harsh reality. Just let her know you are there for her if she wants but you are backing off completely. 

  • It is very hard being rejected. We all want to feel loved and accepted, it's a primary instinct important to our survival.  Think: if a baby is not loved and accepted it won't be taken care of so what are its chances of survival? In a pack of wolves if one is not accepted it will be probably fought off by the others so again survival chances are minimal; hence the need for acceptance.  Being asked to take sides means that one side will like you and therefore accept you and the other will dislike you.  It is not fair to be asked to take sides.  A disagreement has to be contained between those who disagree, it is THEIR issue and theirs to manage.  It seems your friend was an outlet for you, someone you could offer advice to and take advice from so your mind would divert from your own problems.  Very often we heal by being there for others. We feel useful to others, needed and therefore accepted.  But as Katie mentioned in her reply some people need their space at times and by persisting to help your friend she may  see you as a nuisance, hence there comes rejection.  Be there when you are needed but predominantly if and when YOU can, that is being healthily selfish.  Think of all your good qualities and praise yourself for them. Treat yourself, reward yourself for being you just as someone else who appreciates you may do; but, to be appreciated by others we first have to be appreciated by our own selves, otherwise we project (radiate) "I am not worthy" and others tap into it. Have a lovely Easter.

  • Hello

    All I can advise is back off and allow her to come back around. I feel you need some help squaring your problems and if this is the case your friend will feel crushed with you and Her problems. It is a hard life, we will loose more friends than we keep through our lives and also we can actually grow away from people we have known for long periods, especially old school pals

    Move on, give time and live your life there are many people out who you will meet throughout our long lives, it is with hope She will continue this circle of depression and meet you on a rebound of a good friend, give time, although be ready for disappointment

    If you feel low, talk to your GP

    BOB

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