For years I have struggled with OCD but for a long time now I found I can carry on by taking a valium to numb the pain.
When my husband died two years ago we moved and while I kept busy I was ok
Then we ran out of money to do up the house so I started going away to keep busy visiting friends and relatives
I wore myself out and let some people down badly
For the last six months I have been depressed and avoid any use of Valium
The depression has receeded so has the anxiety but I am left with just me on the sofa
I know I could do more if I used the Valium it dampens my anxiety even just one to get me over the transition of going from indoors to outdoors.
My problem is I think I have always been up and down, unbalanced except now I am more down than up
Not as depressed as I was but no motivation. If I do get motivated and plan things I end up anxious and cancel
Any thoughts any one?